Jersey1985 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 I had a affair with my sister-in-law, did not sleep with her, most of conversations were just about seeing each other in the future. I had my girlfriend for 5 years and she has now left me by her choice. I could not decide who I wanted more and wasnt giving my girlfriend at the time 100%, so she left as she felt the relationship was destroyed and that the family bascially was destroyed seeing how it was her brothers wife, the affair was with. The sister in law has 2 children girls and she has now left her husband about a month ago now, due to the fact she had other feelings for someone else and felt her relationship was falling apart before me. I feel like complete trash, I know I made a huge mistake in my life and everyday wish I had my girlfriend back to try and fix things with her, as not everything was negative in our relationship, I just felt something was missing and I guess I seen that in the other person and wasnt using my brain at all the time to try and figure that out and let her know. My girlfriend has told me to respect her and leave her alone to not text or contact her anymore. I still talk with the person I had the affair with as shes now single, but question I guess I ask myself is does that ever work. Knowing my ex is still in the affairs person life as she is still a aunt to the kids. I have a hard time getting past my gf that i feel like i hurt so much and I have no good reason why I did it besides feeling like a complete loser. I have told I am sorry, but sorry doesnt mean anything, the trust would be broken forever. But I was willing to give everything up to my gf to try and make things work but she wasnt willing to do so.. If I had something with the sister-in-law do I continue to purse that and see if somethings there or just move on completly from it all? Link to post Share on other sites
assertives Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 7 hours ago, Jersey1985 said: If I had something with the sister-in-law do I continue to purse that and see if somethings there or just move on completly from it all? Move on completely. You'll get a better chance at a more honest and healthy relationship with another woman than you would with your ex's ex sister in law. The sis in law will still be forever tied to your ex's family because of the kids. Your ex and her family likely sees you as the guy who broke up her brother's family. You do know that you dating the sis in law would continue to hurt your ex and her family right? 7 hours ago, Jersey1985 said: But I was willing to give everything up to my gf to try and make things work but she wasnt willing to do so.. If I had something with the sister-in-law do I continue to purse that and see if somethings there or just move on completly from it all? I find the contrast between your last 2 sentences very stark. You say you are sorry and are willing to give everything up to make things work but then in the next sentence, you wonder about pursuing a relationship with the same woman i.e. doing the exact same thing you were just presumably sorry about in the previous sentence. Yeah, no. Your whole post is contradictory. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Move along. There are plenty of other women out there. My guess is you just find it more comfortable to stick with existing connections, but both seem to be terminally damaged. Your ex can't trust you and you've humiliated her in front of her family. Do as she has asked and leave her alone. The sister-in-law hooked up with another man before you while still married, I wouldn't count on her being up for any kind of meaningful relationship at this point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jersey1985 Posted December 10, 2019 Author Share Posted December 10, 2019 Yes I had feelings for the sister-in-law well being with my gf and I couldnt commit to my gf and felt i couldnt get rid of my feelings and was falling out of love with her and because its family it makes it harder to accept instead of some other random women... I do find it comfortable with my current connections with sister in law, but yes i do wounder how the future works with the kids being involved and can people move and see past that as long as the kids are happy and we are happy, i dont know. People do see I am the one who broke up there family in a way but she has told people she has left her relationship because she wasnt happy in it and obviosuly had feelings for me. I do feel sorry for my ex as i have uprooted her out of my life and i had choices to fix things and never did and continued talking to the sister in law behind her back. Link to post Share on other sites
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