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Guys : Why are you not emotional ?


Mary3

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Guys : I was curious as to why you are not emotional yet most posts say women are the emotional ones

 

Can you explain your inner workings so that us women can understand why its not cool for you to profess how important we are to you and how much you enjoy being with us. ?

 

Why do you also not call once we are interested ?

 

I personally find disgust in that and your desire to keep me interested by ignoring and playing the phone game does the opposite effect. I run the other way when not placed in any importance mode .

 

Any opinions guys ?

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You'll find out how emotional I can get when you get near the remote.

 

As far as telling you how great it is to be with you, here's my perspective: I'm with you. If I didn't like it, I'd go somewhere else. I'm not going to rave about it. The flowers I gave you on the third date were also a huge hint. That and the fact that I brought rubbers.

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RecordProducer
The flowers I gave you on the third date were also a huge hint. That and the fact that I brought rubbers.

 

And the fact that I take my cigarette out of my mouth when I kiss you. :D

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I'm probably not like most guys. I'm very emotional, and I don't play games. I simply say or show how I feel.

 

I do sometimes have a hard time talking about my emotions, but once I'm comfortable with a girl I can't shut up about them.

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"Emotional" suggests allowing emotions to supercede reason, which isn't necessarily a good thing. I think it's important to strive for a healthy balance of the two.

 

Clearly, if a man's very keen to demonstrate how unemotional he is then that could result in big communication problems - and, potentially, a failure to notice and cater to any of his partner's needs.

 

Emotional intelligence. That's the great thing for anyone, male or female, to have. Being aware of your own needs, your partner's needs, and being prepared to invest a bit of time and effort in ensuring that both are reasonably well catered for.

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Guys : I was curious as to why you are not emotional yet most posts say women are the emotional ones

Because there are (amongst other reasons) differences in how little boys and girls are raised, women tend to be more "emotional" than men. And men more analytical than women. With the whole resulting misunderstanding and miscommunications in our adult lifes as a result.

 

Can you explain your inner workings so that us women can understand why its not cool for you to profess how important we are to you and how much you enjoy being with us. ?

Because some guys tend to be uncertain of that. Waiting for things and feelings to develop deeper. Some people don't have a clue how to deal with feelings, let alone dating situations.

Being sexually active for say 15 years, does not necessarily mean that that person has behaved like a gentleman / lady in the dating department for 15 years. And over the course of many years, men and women can develop bad habits. That once worked for them, but now don't necessarily are effective at all.

Has there been a time that you did not mind the games and headgames, when you were a lot less experienced?

 

Why do you also not call once we are interested ?

Because some men play games. Some men are really busy with their businesses. Some men don't want strings attached, and keep things as they are. And some men do call.

 

I personally find disgust in that and your desire to keep me interested by ignoring and playing the phone game does the opposite effect. I run the other way when not placed in any importance mode .

And rightfully so. But when is it realistic to be placed in "importance mode"? After you have met, and talked a bit? When you are casually dating? Or even at a different point in time?

The men you are interested in seem to have a different time-scale than you do. Can there be a logical explanation pertaining to their lives, for instance?

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I am very emotional but if I am too open with my emotions many women will use them against me. It is a matter of self protection. I love being open and intimate with a woman but I have to feel like I can trust her. Men are a lot more complex than we are given credit for but sometimes we afraid to express it.

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ReluctantRomeo
Emotional intelligence. That's the great thing for anyone, male or female, to have. Being aware of your own needs, your partner's needs, and being prepared to invest a bit of time and effort in ensuring that both are reasonably well catered for.

 

Exactly. Being at the mercy of your emotions is bad, but so is being completely out of touch with them. Guys tend to score a little higher on the former, girls on the latter. Whatever, emotions are like anything else - they call for wise management.

 

Women can sometimes be very inconsistent in the demands they place on men btw. Since there are men out there like BigB who are quite emotional, why are you going for the unemotional ones, then complaining about them?

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Women can sometimes be very inconsistent in the demands they place on men btw. Since there are men out there like BigB who are quite emotional, why are you going for the unemotional ones, then complaining about them?

 

Probably for the same reason that unemotional or quiet men often seem drawn to forming unhappy couplings with drama queens. People love to have something to complain about :laugh:

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Guys : I was curious as to why you are not emotional yet most posts say women are the emotional ones

Most men are just as emotional as women except that we are taught to not show (or supress) our emotions. Whenever I used to show strong emotions growing up my dad used to say "WTF, little Alpha, get a hold of yourself".

 

Why do you also not call once we are interested ?

Because if we come off as too desperate and "clingy" and not independent then the woman will leave us for some other dude :)

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slubberdegullion

IMO, there are two reasons why men are generally less emotional than women:

  1. It has something to do with the way men's brains are "wired," and may relate to the difference between maternal and paternal instincts; and,
  2. Men are socially conditioned to keep a lid on their emotions. Emotional outbursts by men are often seen - rightly or wrongly - as a sign of weakness.

 

The "strong silent type" of man is, strangely, the one that's most sought after by women. But once they're involved with him, women generally complain that he's not in touch with his feelings (whatever that means).

 

I personally have little time or patience for men or women who play phone games and other childish behaviours. Sometimes, though, I'm convinced that what may be seen by one party as some sort of game or dance of avoidance is actually a reflection of the other person's reality; yes, guys get busy and cannot always return calls right away. The partner may assume that he's playing her, but that's actually not the case.

 

Sometimes men do, though, play games. It's unfortunate, too, because it smacks of insecurity.

 

The other thing is that when a couple start dating, a man has more of a tendency compartmentalize his life. In other words, his partner is an important part of his life, but she is a part, and does not define who he is or necessarily impinge on every aspect of his life. In my experience, a woman will put much more importance on the growing relationship, almost to the point of excluding everything else.

 

It's really a wonder how two people ever hook up and stay hooked up with the differences between us!

 

A dear and really smart friend of mine likened emotions to alcohol. He said that you can have a glass of wine with dinner, or a beer or two with friends, and that does not make you an alcoholic. But when your booze consumption starts to affect every other aspect of your life, then you've got a problem.

 

And so it is with emotions. One can have an emotional outburst from time to time and still function normally. But when one's emotions get in the way of everyday life, that's not a healthy way to live.

 

Just my $0.02.

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If we were emotional then you wouldn't want us.. We would be like you.. A woman

 

A man is a man for a reason.. Why try and change mother nature

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If we were emotional then you wouldn't want us.. We would be like you.. A woman

 

A man is a man for a reason.. Why try and change mother nature

bingo A_C!!! :)

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ReluctantRomeo
Probably for the same reason that unemotional or quiet men often seem drawn to forming unhappy couplings with drama queens. People love to have something to complain about :laugh:

 

Well, it keeps LS going and us entertained, so I suppose we shouldn't complain :laugh:

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unhappy couplings with drama queens.

I do not believe I've ever met a female who was not a "drama queen" in some respects...

 

But I love women nevertheless.

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elijahBailey
I do not believe I've ever met a female who was not a "drama queen" in some respects..

 

The 'drama queens' are the ones who can't get the attention the normal way. The ones who're secure have no need for all the antics :)

 

In response to the OP.... he!! I can be emotional too, but ya gotta suck it all in. No guy would wanna be seen as a wuss, know what I mean.

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elijahBailey
I do sometimes have a hard time talking about my emotions, but once I'm comfortable with a girl I can't shut up about them.

 

doesn't that make her run away?

 

but seriously, I can't imagine 2 emotional people living under the same roof. That's quite a bit of emotions bottled up within the four walls. Something's gonna snap sooner or later.

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Gosh, my man is emotional. I wrote him a note the other night and left it on the door facing the garage so he would see it when he came home. He got teared up. :love:

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ReluctantRomeo
Gosh, my man is emotional. I wrote him a note the other night and left it on the door facing the garage so he would see it when he came home. He got teared up. :love:

 

What did you say? "No sex for a month"? :laugh:

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ReluctantRomeo
Those were tears of JOY not emotion.. She just bought him the NFL ticket on DTV

 

OK, so a manly thing to get emotional about... Alpha and I stand corrected :cool:

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I do not believe I've ever met a female who was not a "drama queen" in some respects..

 

Ha - the key phrase being "in some respects". We're all drama queens in some respects. You included, alpha :laugh:

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