EarlOfPreston Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Hello all! If you're reading this, thank you! I would love to know your opinions on a situation I've found myself in. The back story.... There's a woman that I work with at my part-time job that I find, let's just say, more special than my other co-workers. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my coworkers SO MUCH, but this one woman, she just does something to me. Now, our story in a nutshell is, we have quite the flirty rapport, and we've had our "intimate" moments, I guess you could say. Nothing sexual or anything like that, but we have kissed a few times, and there have been times when we'll be hanging around after we close and she'll let her walls down just a bit and open up to me about her past, and her family, and things like that.... Man, when she does this, there's just something different in her voice that is so beautiful, I can't explain it. And, when she does open up like that, I just feel such a connection, because she intrigues me so much, and I love learning all these things about her that I didn't know before. Anyway, my question is this.... I want to get her something nice for Christmas, but I'm not sure where the line is of what's "acceptable," because we're not in a relationship or anything (even though one of our regular customers wanted to know when the engagement announcement was coming, and another one thought we were married). So, I'm not sure whether to go with something more on the "comical," fun side, or more of the "you're special to me" side.... What's the etiquette here? I mean, I don't want to make her feel weird or anything, you know? Any advice or suggestions are welcome. Thank you so much for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 You can get her a gift but your best bet would be a consumable (chocolate, flowers, wine etc) of a moderate price. Do not get her anything durable especially jewelry. If you keep it to a token you will be fine. If it must be durable go with kitchy like a stuffed reindeer or something silly. Also make sure no other co-workers see this exchange. It should be done privately. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 It sounds to me like you're about to fall for a co-worker. That's often a very bad situation to be in. The reason is because if it ever ends badly it can cause lots of issues. You should consider either moving to a different job (if feasible/easy) so you can date her or stopping with the shenanigans so you don't get yourselves into trouble. Assuming you disregard the above suggestions, for the gift something proably slightly nicer than everyone else's is fine. If it were me in the situation (I find it hard to follow my own advice sometimes) I would probably make it something that says I think you're special, but not TOO expensive/classy. I think you'd be best served by realizing that there's at least a solid chance you're creating a time bomb for yourself with this whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EarlOfPreston Posted December 10, 2019 Author Share Posted December 10, 2019 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: You can get her a gift but your best bet would be a consumable (chocolate, flowers, wine etc) of a moderate price. Do not get her anything durable especially jewelry. If you keep it to a token you will be fine. If it must be durable go with kitchy like a stuffed reindeer or something silly. Also make sure no other co-workers see this exchange. It should be done privately. Yes, "kitchy...." That's the word I was looking for! Just to clarify, I will be getting something for my other co-workers too. We're like a little tight-knit family. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Fine but if her gift is substantially different from what you get the rest of the co-workers, get her the same as everyone else, then privately give her this other thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EarlOfPreston Posted December 10, 2019 Author Share Posted December 10, 2019 13 minutes ago, mark clemson said: It sounds to me like you're about to fall for a co-worker. That's often a very bad situation to be in. The reason is because if it ever ends badly it can cause lots of issues. You should consider either moving to a different job (if feasible/easy) so you can date her or stopping with the shenanigans so you don't get yourselves into trouble. Assuming you disregard the above suggestions, for the gift something proably slightly nicer than everyone else's is fine. If it were me in the situation (I find it hard to follow my own advice sometimes) I would probably make it something that says I think you're special, but not TOO expensive/classy. I think you'd be best served by realizing that there's at least a solid chance you're creating a time bomb for yourself with this whole situation. Thank you for the advice, Mark. I like that idea, just a little bit more "special" than the others. Oh, and don't worry about us "getting into trouble," everyone there already knows. 13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Fine but if her gift is substantially different from what you get the rest of the co-workers, get her the same as everyone else, then privately give her this other thing. Hmmmm, I like that! Good thinking! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 the etiquette here Is that you are at work to work and make money and not "fool around" with the co-workers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted December 11, 2019 Share Posted December 11, 2019 Its enjoyable that sense of clicking with a nice female! I suggest a mood calendar gift, keep it fun, light hearted, I would say for the time being, but building rapport all the same Link to post Share on other sites
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