Anyone dated someone with aspergers?

[bradt93]

Has anyone male or female on this board dated someone who had aspergers and if so how was the relationship and did it work? Was it more harder to try to make the relationship work than it would've been with someone who didn't have the condition?

[bradt93]

No replies, figures. Anyone who has aspergers are "retarded" right?

[K.K.]

Well.. the reason for the no replies is probably because nobody that is currently here right at this moment has dated anybody with it or seen the post so they didn’t reply. 

 

Im just replying to assure you that it wasn’t out of meanness that nobody answered yet. 

 

I chuckled at your reply though. It was sad and cute at the same time. Are you dating somebody with it? Or have it? 

[basil67]

My daughter's first boyfriend was aspie.   They lasted about 18 months.   He did have a couple of personality traits which made her decide to end it, but a non aspie could have had those same traits.  

[Happy Lemming]

How severe is your Asperger Syndrome?? Have you had Communication training or behavioral therapy??

[bradt93]

15 minutes ago, K.K. said:

Well.. the reason for the no replies is probably because nobody that is currently here right at this moment has dated anybody with it or seen the post so they didn’t reply. 

 

Im just replying to assure you that it wasn’t out of meanness that nobody answered yet. 

 

I chuckled at your reply though. It was sad and cute at the same time. Are you dating somebody with it? Or have it? Yes, I have it and I would date someone with it as long as they are a kind person.

 

Just now, Happy Lemming said:

How severe is your Asperger Syndrome?? Have you had Communication training or behavioral therapy??

Yes, I have and what does that have to do with anything? 

[Happy Lemming]

4 minutes ago, bradt93 said:

 

Yes, I have and what does that have to do with anything? 

This is why I hesitated to even post in your thread.  You seem to lash out at the posters when they try to garner more information in order to help you.

 

If that is the way you act around women, then it's no wonder that they steer clear and won't give you the time of day.

 

Asking for help, then being argumentative/hostile will get you nowhere.  Women will easily pick up on this and avoid you. Being awkward will chase away the majority of women, being hostile will chase away the rest.

 

Perhaps some additional behavioral therapy is in order.

[bradt93]

4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

This is why I hesitated to even post in your thread.  You seem to lash out at the posters when they try to garner more information in order to help you.

 

If that is the way you act around women, then it's no wonder that they steer clear and won't give you the time of day.

 

Asking for help, then being argumentative/hostile will get you nowhere.  Women will easily pick up on this and avoid you. Being awkward will chase away the majority of women, being hostile will chase away the rest.

 

Perhaps some additional behavioral therapy is in order.

I'm sorry if some of them feel they have to stay away from guys who are quiet and shy, omg they must be psycho then right?

[K.K.]

18 minutes ago, bradt93 said:

 

Yes, I have and what does that have to do with anything? 

 

You’re killin me smalls. 

 

It has to do with everything. You’re the one who asked the question, babe. Maybe you can tell us your experiences in dating? 

Edited December 12, 2019 by K.K.
.

[alphamale]

I just read that greta Thunberg has aspergers and OCD

[Happy Lemming]

6 minutes ago, bradt93 said:

I'm sorry if some of them feel they have to stay away from guys who are quiet and shy, omg they must be psycho then right?

No the women are not "psycho" they are being protective.  A large tall man who is "awkward" is going to scare away most women, and if you are not warm and inviting, the rest will scatter.

[bradt93]

1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said:

No the women are not "psycho" they are being protective.  A large tall man who is "awkward" is going to scare away most women, and if you are not warm and inviting, the rest will scatter.

Well, maybe I don't need to date if they are going to be judgemental. I'll hire an escort.

[K.K.]

2 minutes ago, bradt93 said:

Well, maybe I don't need to date if they are going to be judgemental. I'll hire an escort.

 

Make sure to wear a condom. Safety first! 

[bradt93]

Hey at least I won't be judged for being a quite guy, so stupid.

[K.K.]

Aw cheer up. Quiet is ok. 

[bradt93]

2 minutes ago, K.K. said:

Aw cheer up. Quiet is ok. 

Then why are women scared of that?

[K.K.]

Well, I don’t think they’re scared of a quiet guy. I think they might be scared of a quiet angry guy maybe though? You seen a little angry and defensive. Do you date at all? If you do, what kind of problems do you find that you have with it? (Not you as a or the problem but just .. well how does it normally go?) 

[bradt93]

6 minutes ago, K.K. said:

Well, I don’t think they’re scared of a quiet guy. I think they might be scared of a quiet angry guy maybe though? You seen a little angry and defensive. Do you date at all? If you do, what kind of problems do you find that you have with it? (Not you as a or the problem but just .. well how does it normally go?) 

I don't date at all and don't even talk to women when I'm out in public.

[K.K.]

Oh wow,  I’m sorry. That must not be fun. But things can always change you know? Nothing ever stays the same anyway. You sound young and there’s lots of time. The only thing I know about Aspergers is that I’ve read that those who have it are usually extremely smart. So you have that going for you? 

 

I think being quiet is really ok. It’s the defensive thing that may be hurting you a little. Ok a lot. I used to have a chip on my shoulder too. I felt like nothing ever worked out for me but when I changed myself and became less defensive things turned around. People want to be around people that make them feel good. Not those that lash out at them. That’s pretty much the general rule. 

 

I think if you would just maybe work on that a little, you may get farther with women. ?

[bradt93]

1 hour ago, alphamale said:

I just read that greta Thunberg has aspergers and OCD

Hey man, I think she's going to grow up to be a beautiful woman even though I don't agree with her views on climate change on much. She would be wild in bed though :). 

[NomiMalone]

8 hours ago, bradt93 said:

Hey man, I think she's going to grow up to be a beautiful woman even though I don't agree with her views on climate change on much. She would be wild in bed though :). 

Talking about a woman in this manner is not ok to most women OP.

[nospam99]

I have a young adult son who is a diagnosed aspie. I say 'diagnosed' because, as a parent of one who's met other parents via the public school interventions, I've seen a lot of bulls--t diagnoses ... everybody has to be a 'special snowflake'. And getting a diagnosis, legit or not, on the spectrum makes you 'special'. In my son's case, I had long talks with the psychologist who did the neuropsych and I accept the legitimacy of the diagnosis. Diagnosis aside, he always clearly was a 'weird little kid'.

All that said, I've met my son's gf (pretty damn hot if Dad gets to assess her - and my son is a handsome dude as well so they make 'a cute couple'). They've been in a relationship for about a year. Last I saw him (Thanksgiving day) he said they were still together, but spending the holiday with their respective families rather than with each other.

Edited December 12, 2019 by nospam99

[normal person]

3 hours ago, NomiMalone said:

Talking about a woman in this manner is not ok to most women OP.

 

Especially since she's not a "woman," she's a 16 year old girl. If OP is worried about people thinking he's creepy, this sort of thing isn't doing him any favors. 

 

12 hours ago, bradt93 said:

Well, maybe I don't need to date if they are going to be judgemental. I'll hire an escort.

 

The poster didn't say they were being judgmental. S/he said they were being protective. Survival is one of, if not the first, fundamental human need. If people see you as a threat, that's not them consciously passing judgement or looking down on you, that's their biochemistry subconsciously telling them to avoid you to stay safe. 

 

 

13 hours ago, bradt93 said:

I'm sorry if some of them feel they have to stay away from guys who are quiet and shy, omg they must be psycho then right?

 

What obligation do they have to not do what makes them feel safe? What are you suggesting? If I walk into a restaurant and it seems a bit dirty and unsanitary, and decide I don't want to eat there, do I have to sit down and eat anyways because the owner might be mad otherwise? No. That's his problem, not mine. I'm under no obligation to eat anywhere I don't want to. Women aren't under any obligation to "have to" interact with someone who makes them feel unsafe. This kind of entitled behavior is surely going to be a huge turn off.  

[bradt93]

3 hours ago, normal person said:

 

Especially since she's not a "woman," she's a 16 year old girl. If OP is worried about people thinking he's creepy, this sort of thing isn't doing him any favors. 

 

 

The poster didn't say they were being judgmental. S/he said they were being protective. Survival is one of, if not the first, fundamental human need. If people see you as a threat, that's not them consciously passing judgement or looking down on you, that's their biochemistry subconsciously telling them to avoid you to stay safe. 

 

 

 

What obligation do they have to not do what makes them feel safe? What are you suggesting? If I walk into a restaurant and it seems a bit dirty and unsanitary, and decide I don't want to eat there, do I have to sit down and eat anyways because the owner might be mad otherwise? No. That's his problem, not mine. I'm under no obligation to eat anywhere I don't want to. Women aren't under any obligation to "have to" interact with someone who makes them feel unsafe. This kind of entitled behavior is surely going to be a huge turn off.  

Who, my bad I didn't know she was 16. I thought she was over 18.

[Piddy]

Not sure if this has ever been suggested, but how about dating a girl who has aspergers?   I worked in the high tech world for years and saw several couples who would be described as very much nerds.

 

  They were smart as a whip as far as engineering goes, but may have two different color socks on.  Very awkward socially.  They say opposites attract, but I've found I did better with similar type personalities.  Not sure where you'd start, but maybe that's something you may want to look into.

Edited December 12, 2019 by Piddy