Fleiss Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Hi..I met this 24-year older man in my town 6 weeks ago, and on the weekend he invited me over to his place for his birthday. (He lives a 3-hour flight away, and also paid for the ticket.) Things went smoothly, until 2 of his friends came to visit. Due to some misunderstanding, I had a small friction with one of them, due to also me not speaking the language well enough, and him not being sufficiently patient to listen. Anyway, my host was not aware how it all started, but it blatantly took sides with his friend, while also telling me that I was acting as a teacher - which I am. I responded jokingly that passion could be a professional problem of me, but didn't walk out in protest. After they left, I told my host that he should have been neutral, to which he overreacted with considerable anger saying he had much more friends than me, and other similar stuff. A bit later he asked me what I wanted from him. "Respect" was my answer. We somehow reconciled, and fooled around a bit. The following day, Tuesday, early in the morning, was my flight back home. We talked a bit before my departure, him asking for something romantic, but I suggested only friendship because a new life in his city would be very hard, even though gay life is easier there. I thanked him for everything and left. Upon landing at the airport, I sent him a message just to let him know I made it safe. Yesterday in the evening he asked how I was doing and when I had desire and time to video-chat. To be honest, since I had been feeling angry about him not explicitly apologizing for his conduct to this moment, I told him that there was no point in maintaining our friendship. He replied saying that I was being immature and that I should accept criticism, otherwise I would remain alone. To which I responded that there was no problem, and that I would never forget about his rage, and better alone than having to pay a high price with someone. In the end, I wished him well. This marked the end of our conversation last night. All in all, I found it hard to forgive and forget, given also that he never extended a sincere and explicit apology to me. Am I right to feel so, and is there something I can do? Link to post Share on other sites
ironpony Posted December 13, 2019 Share Posted December 13, 2019 Sounds like he has some issues and what you did sounds like a normal response. It's not like you have known him for very long either, so it's not like there is a huge friendship to let go, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fleiss Posted December 14, 2019 Author Share Posted December 14, 2019 7 hours ago, ironpony said: Sounds like he has some issues and what you did sounds like a normal response. It's not like you have known him for very long either, so it's not like there is a huge friendship to let go, right? You're right. Plus, I forgot to mention in the thread that last day at noon he suggested that I spent New Year's Eve with him, offering to pay for the ticket. I told him I'd be with my family, which is the case. In the evening, when he got out of control, he blurted out that it was something weird of me to do so. I came to remember this after my return home, and yesterday told him that this had hurt much more, considering the fact that I showed enough interest and respect about his family members in looking at photos etc. Finally, I stressed again that respect is the most important thing to me. And I deleted his number. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Sounds like he has bad manners and maybe an anger problem, is somewhat socially inept, and perceives you as someone he can belittle. He's attracted to you because you're younger, which means he thinks you'd be easier to manipulate, and you're a better person, which means he'd enjoy putting you down so he feels better about his inadequacies. The world's full of these pricks. I'm glad you deleted his number and told him where to go, well done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Look he doesn't really want friendship. He wants sex. I don't see any reason to continue with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 On 12/13/2019 at 2:44 AM, Fleiss said: Am I right to feel so, and is there something I can do? I agree with preraph. He basically paid for you to fly over to have a weekend of casual sex with him. Sounds like you want to keep it casual and he wants more? I don't see any reason to maintain contact with him since that's the case. Link to post Share on other sites
VIOLET EDEN Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 5 hours ago, Watercolors said: I agree with preraph. He basically paid for you to fly over to have a weekend of casual sex with him. Sounds like you want to keep it casual and he wants more? I don't see any reason to maintain contact with him since that's the case. I agree with Watercolors, just let the friendship go, its not as if its been quite a lot of time in the friendship for you to think twice 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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