Gdunkman Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 I'm a 36 y.o. entrepreneur, haven't posted here for years. I bought used car dealership a year ago and it's surrounded by residential lots. All the neighbours are excessively friendly, Canadian thing. Since I don't spend much time on this lot, on average 2-3 times a week for a few hours, I met this guy about five times. During the day he's away working at road construction. Today I'm about to leave, sitting in my van. The guy comes to me and opens passenger door, I see he's furious and shaking. In this village they have a habit just to walk to someone's lot if they want to talk. He says somebody is "stealing his internet" and asks if it's me. I have stoic personality, so I'm trying to calm him down so we can talk rationally. Obviously I'm not stealing anyone's internet so I'm telling him that, and also how would I know his password? He goes like "maybe she gave you the password, maybe you are hooking up with her, that's a possibility. She's always near the window staring at you when you are here". I've seen that woman only once, their dog went unleashed to my lot, and she was calling the dog for a few minutes before she managed to catch it, I've never been closer than 30 feet from her and I don't know her name. After that he says he's gonna beat me up if he finds out something (*that's questionable, I'm an Eastern European guy, we have some experience in street fights, I would say chances are at least even*). How do you think I should react? The only thing I told him is that he is wrong and what he is doing now is wrong. I feel sorry for the guy, he must have huge trust issues and insecurity. I don't think I have much ground to report to the police right now, but maybe I should, so that in the future if the guy comes to me again and If I, god forbid, injure him in fight, at least the police will have some record from the past about who started the conflict? What I'm going to do for sure in spring is build a fence between out lots, I'm not happy with somebody staring at me through the window while I work. I appreciate your comments, I don't have anyone to share this with, I'm not feeling good about this at all and I don't wanna tell this to my family not to stress them out. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 In the US, I would consider filing a police report since he threatened you. For whatever reason, this man appears to not be thinking clearly and is potentially dangerous. Not sure how it would be handled under Canadian law/processes. You could consider visiting the police, explaining the situation, and asking what your options are and/or what they suggest. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 I know the police can't do anything but talk to him, and it's 50/50 whether that would stop or just incite him further. I hope you told him you'd never been near his wife and didn't even know her name. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 I'm sure you can take care of yourself but can you defend against an unlooked for baseball bat or tire iron? I think a police report is necessary for your protection. From what you've said this is an issue being generated internally by your neighbor. What you face is a man who suspects his wife of cheating but doesn't want to end their marriage or confront her so he confronts a likely suspect instead. He gets his anger out and sates his need for action without actually taking care of his problem. I imagine he's an emotional mess inside and I sense that although he acted like a jerk you have some sympathy for him otherwise he would have went home somewhat damaged. You can do one of two things. Try and be his friend or at least casual acquaintance. Help him fix his car one day. or help him shovel some snow and see if you can't get him to talk about his behavior towards you that day. Since you run a business in the area it makes a lot of sense to promote goodwill with the neighbors. Second thing is to keep as far away as you can even to the point of getting a court order against the husband. The wild card is the wife and how good she is at engineering those chance encounters. Woof Woof. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 Since walking up to people is a "thing", next time you see him if he seems calmer walk up to him. Tell him you didn't really understand why he was accusing you last time but you wanted to make sure he knows you are not stealing his internet or his wife & that you hope you two can peacefully co-exist going forward. If that doesn't work, invest in some security cameras for your business & be vigilant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gdunkman Posted December 14, 2019 Author Share Posted December 14, 2019 9 hours ago, schlumpy said: I'm sure you can take care of yourself but can you defend against an unlooked for baseball bat or tire iron? I think a police report is necessary for your protection. Woof Woof. Great point, thank you! I think I will go and try to file report to the police on Monday. I want to spend my time some different way, but I feel offended by that accusation and indeed I want to make him feel he is watched by authorities for his actions to prevent any violence in the future. I don’t want to let it slide just because I have no time for it and not interested in this drama. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 14, 2019 Share Posted December 14, 2019 I bet the police are already familiar with his shenanigans, but if they are, that means they don't slow him down any. He's just one of those wingnuts no one can do anything with. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 A report needs to be filed so that they have a record of it to refer back to in the future (perhaps one day in court). You can tell them that you aren't pressing any charges right now but you just want them to have a records of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 The thing about guys like this is that their jealousy and rage ends up pushing the woman away into another man's arms anyway.. Like, he is literally just pushing her into your arms without even knowing it. Also, you might not know this, being from Eastern Europe, but most Canadians, especially in a small town, have plenty of experience fighting... I grew up in a small town and whenever there was a fight, the cops would show up and watch the fight with the rest of us until it was over... Free health care n s*** around these parts and its usually just a hassle for the cops to write s*** up... The small town cops don't really have a quota to meet like the city cops do, so its a bit different. For the above reason, being that the cops usually look at this type of s*** pretty casually in the smaller towns, I would definitely file a report. Also, if he has friends at the cop shop, nothing may come of it anyways, so you should find out if your on your own or not before that time comes. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I agree with others that you should file a police report and ask for their advice. It sounds to me like the guy is paranoid. How could anyone steal his internet? Did he explain what he meant by that? Someone genuinely paranoid will not be seeing things the way you see them. He could be a real risk. I think if I was you, I would set up some alarms on my house/office so that I'd have some warning if he came over. It might be useful to have a weapon of some sort nearby, something fairly innocuous but which could be protective if ever you needed it. Of course you would not use it unless in a dangerous situation as you could get into more trouble yourself. I would have suggested talking to the wife sometime to get her take on his mental stage but, given that he is convinced you are doing this, it would not be a good idea. Good luck and watch out for this guy! Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 1 hour ago, spiderowl said: How could anyone steal his internet? Did he explain what he meant by that? He was talking about the wireless connection Spider. If I go to the search function on my internet connection it will show several different network connections I can connect to. These are all single family homes. All I have to have is the password and I'm in. So, If my neighbor gave me his password I could use his internet connection. Of course, no one is going to pay for service and then give it away but some people are not computer literate and do not know that they have to set the password up when first use the connection. If they don't, It then remains public. I did have one neighbor that this happened to and I warned him about it, but he just wasn't that concerned. The real danger is that someone could park outside the house and with a laptop use my neighbor's connection in illegal activities such as downloading child porn and that is not something you want to happen unless you don't mind a new girlfriend named Bubba. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 I agree that you should fill out a police report with what has happened. Your neighbor sounds like a quick to anger and ask questions later type. Protect yourself with the report. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 On 12/17/2019 at 1:34 AM, schlumpy said: He was talking about the wireless connection Spider. If I go to the search function on my internet connection it will show several different network connections I can connect to. These are all single family homes. All I have to have is the password and I'm in. So, If my neighbor gave me his password I could use his internet connection. Of course, no one is going to pay for service and then give it away but some people are not computer literate and do not know that they have to set the password up when first use the connection. If they don't, It then remains public. I did have one neighbor that this happened to and I warned him about it, but he just wasn't that concerned. The real danger is that someone could park outside the house and with a laptop use my neighbor's connection in illegal activities such as downloading child porn and that is not something you want to happen unless you don't mind a new girlfriend named Bubba. Thanks schlumpy, I did understand that he must mean wifi but to accuse someone of stealing it because he had not password protected it is a bit odd. I think you are right, he is not very computer literate. He does sound paranoid too. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 2 hours ago, spiderowl said: Thanks schlumpy, I did understand that he must mean wifi but to accuse someone of stealing it because he had not password protected it is a bit odd. I think you are right, he is not very computer literate. He does sound paranoid too. Sorry Spider. I had an attack of helpfulitis. Didn't mean to insinuate that you have zero knowledge of how a internet connection works. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 That guy can't really complain about someone using his wife I if he hasn't done anything to protect it. Some people are just unreasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 LOL, think you meant wifi ???? 😉🤣 Spell checkers... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Good old Google Voice. But in this case that also applies at least. Link to post Share on other sites
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