bubba2287 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Really, this is SUCH a long story. Basically, I fell for this girl. She didnt think she was going to fall in love with me, so she had a "friend" that she thought she might see herself with someday. Whom wanted to marry her and all that good stuff. Well I found out about it and I gave her a second chance (letter about feeling bad, like shes unfaithful. Wierd stuff like that). I forgave her, but it lingered on my mind and I resented her for quite some time. Eventually it got to a point that we fought a lot and I had a hard time believing that she trully loved me. She ended up freaking out and not wanting to see me. She didnt know why, according to her, but she told my friend that she "loves me but no in love with me" (ya its really MEST up). I was really hurt but when she came crawling back I just couldnt say no. Well a week later I noticed she was in a wierd mood (not kissing or flirting or anything... nothing showed me she loved me). and I asked her about it and we ended up fighting and we broke up. Same thing... SHE CRUSHED ME. I was a wreck for days. and then she started to miss me again. She realized that it was cause we were seeing eachother too much. It was wierd. but still. I didnt wanna just take her back. about a week later I went to go see her and talk. We had mentioned that we werent seeing other people. and things got emotional and we ended up having sex. well, in the interum a girl was giving me attention that I SOOO desired and wasnt getting. I made out with her before I went and had sex with my girlfriend. I thought I was going to be over everything after I talked with her, but I wasnt. I wouldnt have let things go any further with the other girl but my girlfriend "not at the time" was being suspicious of my own friends, a thing she BAGGED on me about. and it started to drive me away again. and I ended up with the other girl again. Only this time she wanted me to spend the night at her house. Well, I did and I ended up fingering her. It didnt feel right. the kissing, the fingering, anything. I didnt look at her, or feel the same. Nothing was right, I still loved my girlfriend. WEll I ended up telling her the next day. She was ABSOLUTELY a wreck. and she was SOOOO pissed off. and that was before I could say anything about the sleep over. later that night some stupid girl told chelsey about the sleepover thing before I could say anything... she was angry...and she cried so much. I never meant to hurt her. I just couldnt bring myself to telling her that I fingered her (I didnt do ANYTHING beyond that). but she asks me periodically and all I can think of is how terrible it felt seeing her cry. its been a few months now and some people from the start told me I should tell her and others think I shouldnt. The big dilemma is that I trully and im love with her, and we've been together for so long. I just dont want to lose her. I dont think she'd ever find out, but I dont know. Technically we werent together, but I did say I wouldnt see another girl. I dont know what to do. I just feel like complete **** about it because Im so in love with her. please help me. What do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
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