pepperbird Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 (edited) On 12/20/2019 at 7:57 PM, major_merrick said: The interesting thing about the role of a sheriff is that he CAN choose to not enforce a bad law. Similar to the idea of "jury nullification." A jury can refuse to convict someone who has broken the law on the basis of that law being unacceptable. A sheriff can refuse to enforce, or can give a warning rather than arrest. Since you're from Canada IIRC, that may be a weird concept to you. It is controversial in some parts of the US, but is accepted here and a number of sheriffs have done so. Before it was legalized, open carry was one issue where the sheriffs got together and said that even though it wasn't legally permitted, they would not arrest someone with a visible handgun who was just going about their business. Their refusal to enforce was actually one big reason why open carry became legal. If my husband took the job, I know he would use it in a positive way to create some change...refusing to enforce bad laws and tightening up on corruption. There's a movement in our county and in some nearby counties toward "Godly Government." The guy who is running against our incumbent county judge is running on a faith platform. The public schools in our county have the Lord's Prayer right along with the Pledge of Allegiance. The high school has a painted mural of Jesus. The sheriff in the next county where my husband works ran on the slogan "Man of faith and character" and was elected in a landslide. I don't think there's as much separation of church and state here as there is in the rest of the US. redacted...have a good holiday season Edited December 24, 2019 by pepperbird Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 On 12/23/2019 at 12:01 AM, BettyDraper said: I don't think that submission in a marriage is about absolute power given to one partner with no consideration for the other. It might be necessary in their household. Making decisions would be a chaotic mess with four people having veto power in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted December 25, 2019 Share Posted December 25, 2019 On 12/24/2019 at 8:34 AM, Shining One said: It might be necessary in their household. Making decisions would be a chaotic mess with four people having veto power in the relationship. They could take a vote with the majority winning. I just think that couples should be considerate of each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author major_merrick Posted December 26, 2019 Author Share Posted December 26, 2019 Our home is definitely not a democracy. My husband tries to ensure that everybody is happy, but the idea of anybody have veto power except my husband is pretty far out. And both Wife #1 and Wife #4 are pretty rigid about that idea, too. And Wife #2 doesn't much care. As far as feminism goes, I'm an "army of one" in our house. Christmas was pretty good, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted December 26, 2019 Share Posted December 26, 2019 Do your girlfriends get a say on anything? Are they an equal part of your household, your family or are they just considered as an accepted add-on due to their relationship with you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author major_merrick Posted December 27, 2019 Author Share Posted December 27, 2019 My GFs can decide a lot of things for themselves, but they have been very active in the family without expressing a lot of desires. My GF#1 mostly wants a spot to do her work on her computer during the day, and the flexibility to work out and go to her club. GF#2 is pretty much the same. I've actually encouraged them to try new things, but they are comfortable where they are at. Through this recent situation with my husband's job/politics and Christmas, they've been more on his side than mine which has caused some tension. I've kind of been the lone voice when everybody else has been either positive or neutral. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On a separate but related issue, I've got a new problem. I've developed an irrational crush. One of my husband's guests at Christmas dinner was an extremely attractive young woman. Our interests are very similar, and there was definite chemistry almost immediately. In one moment in the kitchen we accidentally ended up very close to each other, and her smell was exactly right and by the look on her face I know she was interested. Like an idiot, I exchanged my phone number with her because she wanted me to look at her car (we have the same model). I don't want to cheat. I've been that person before, and I don't want to do it to my husband and my GFs. But my mind the rest of me are going in separate directions. I know that the tension in my family has made me susceptible to her advances, and the new-relationship-energy is wearing off my marriage. Plus the sex has been terrible the last couple of weeks! GF#1 knows me pretty well, and she's warned another girl away from me before. She noticed right away, leaned in for a kiss and whispered in my ear to "keep your hands to yourself." So I'm not getting away with anything. Still, for the past 24 hours I can't get this new acquaintance out of my head. The thought of getting alone with her is exciting, and I know that's exactly what I can't do. If I end up looking at her car, I'll have to bring someone (or two someones) with me so I don't slip up. What do people do to get over crushes like this? I've had this problem for years and while I've avoided cheating the last few years by being honest with my partners, it doesn't stop the feelings and desires. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 I think you are trying to run again Major. Run, run, run - run towards the sun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author major_merrick Posted December 28, 2019 Author Share Posted December 28, 2019 I'm not really sure what I'm running to or running from, though. The last couple of weeks have left me feeling like I'm being ignored. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 12 hours ago, major_merrick said: I'm not really sure what I'm running to or running from, though. The last couple of weeks have left me feeling like I'm being ignored. Could be you just aren't suited to a long term, steady relationship with one person, even if there are "extras" as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author major_merrick Posted December 28, 2019 Author Share Posted December 28, 2019 @pepperbird I hope not. But if that's the case, I have no idea why. I've loved my husband and we've been friends for 20 years, but I have trouble settling down. There's no advantage to me being uncomfortable or wanting something different. I've tried just about every relationship style I can think of, and what I've got now has worked better than the rest, but there's still problems. I'm needing something that I haven't been getting lately, but I can't quite express what that is. It just feels like my husband and my other partners are ALL distant now. I don't like that feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
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