Is a smooth start a must?

[Logo]

Let’s say you’ve just started a relationship and things are okay; they’re better than the way other relationships had progressed, especially if they started very passionately only to fizzle quickly. You’re giving it a try and want to see how things go. 
 

If things are going well between the couple in the relationship, but there are one or two things about your partner that keep you questioning whether you should continue or leave, do you give it a chance and still try or do those doubts make you question the relationship’s future prospects? 

 

What I’m asking is, if you’re having doubts within the first month or two would you immediately cut your losses and leave or would take a risk and continue seeing that person to try and see if you can learn to appreciate them to the point that you see a future with them? Assume that person is an incredible human being, but you’re not sure if you’re into him or her. 
 

The oft used wisdom is that a new relationship shouldn’t make you question its potential, it should be fun and you should be in the honeymoon phase, infatuated, not questioning its longterm potential. But does that rule of thumb always hold true?

[thefooloftheyear]

I've lived long enough to know that people don't ever really change who they are...Even if they do, they eventually fall back into what they were...Its hard enough to find someone to share your life with, I think its almost impossible to think that if it starts shaky, that it will somehow improve...

Perhaps some may disagree, but that's been my experience....The though that love conquers all or whatever, just seems like a fantasy derived from TV/movies..

TFY

[elaine567]

3 hours ago, Logo said:

If things are going well between the couple in the relationship, but there are one or two things about your partner that keep you questioning whether you should continue or leave, do you give it a chance and still try or do those doubts make you question the relationship’s future prospects? 

Well it really depends what those "one or two things are",  and how important they are to the relationship going forward.
As TFY says don't expect change.
If something is bugging you now, then expect it to still bug you in the future.

[d0nnivain]

It depends on what the doubts are about.  If the doubts are just me being insecure & worried I'd hang in there.  If they are about trivial things, I'd hang in there.  But if the doubts are about fundamental values, then I'd end things.  

[Legatus]

On 12/16/2019 at 10:58 AM, thefooloftheyear said:

I've lived long enough to know that people don't ever really change who they are...

 

They don't because it's easier not to but it's perfectly possible.

 

 

OP I think you need to evaluate whether those things are a real deal-breaker for you. This is a very subjective opinion whether to continue or not. Some people might not continue with their relationship for a reason that you would deem silly and have no problem with. Doubt is definitely something you should think about but don't we all have doubts? Doubting is not bad unless it changes into questioning the validity of the whole relationship. 

[RecentChange]

On 12/16/2019 at 12:05 AM, Logo said:

Let’s say you’ve just started a relationship and things are okay; they’re better than the way other relationships had progressed, especially if they started very passionately only to fizzle quickly. 

 

First I think it's flawed logic to compare different relationships to each other.

 

Just because a passionate relationship with X, fizzled quickly, doesn't mean that a passionate relationship with Y would meet the same ending.

 

Things are "okay"? For me, I couldn't imagine getting fully invested and dream of happily ever after when things are just "okay" - I need more than that to sustain me - I NEED to be passionate about my partner.

 

I can't recall ever having hesitations about someone and then proceeding with them - what are these concerns?