Orange wood Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 I m in relationship for 4 yrs. And about to get married. During these 4 yrs, we didn't have much sex. In very first year he told me that i am not sexually attractive. I feel hurt & wanted to break up but he always come back to me. So we stay sexless and now we r preparing to get married. We try sex recently and find out that he can't get hard with me. I still don't mind and think that things will be improved. But when we are about to set wedding date, he told me that he is seeing prostitutes for years and if our sex life is not smooth, he might go on that after marriage and ask me if I am ok with it. Should I still get married with him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 No you should not. He's been cheating the whole time. He will never be able to get it up with you. If the sex sucks now it will only get worse. Run to your nearest clinic & get tested. God knows what he gave you from the prostitutes. Call the whole thing off. Do not make the biggest mistake of your life. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Don't marry him, don't continue seeing him period. Why do you care so little for yourself that you stay with someone who insults you with his opinion of your lack of sexual appeal? Why would you consider for a moment having a sexless marriage and/or being married to someone having sex with other women? Staying with him, much less marrying him, will finish destroying what little self esteem you have left. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 dating is the job interview for marriage. he failed the interview. courtship is where the attraction is the hottest. with time it may lower but the attraction never gets better. dump him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 What country are you in? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 IMO moving forward with this would be a big mistake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 You would have to be crazy to go along with marrying him. You need to cut him loose and run him off if he tries to come back. you don't keep somebody just because you're uncomfortable telling them to go away and leave you alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Sure get married if. You never want to have children You never want to have sex You never want to feel unconditionally loved You never want to feel attractive You are happy to sit at home while your husband has sex with prostitutes or anyone else who will have sex with him. You would be okay feeling insecure because your husband might fall in love with one of the women he is attracted to and has sex with and leave you. You don't mind that your husband doesn't love you You don't mind that your husband doesn't respect you. You don't mind if your husband contracts STDs You don't mind if people know your husband has sex with other women, and thinks you are unattractive. Sounds like hell on Earth to me rather than a happy marriage - but perhaps you do not care about all of those things? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 The problem with your sex life is not related to a lack of attraction he feels for you. Don’t let any man who visits prostitutes try to tell you that you are the reason why there is a lack of sex in your relationship. Oh no, he is the problem and you would be foolish to marry this man. If you do ever have sex with this man, you will be putting your own health at risk as you expose yourself to whatever sexually transmitted disease he has picked up in his travels... If you desire a respectful relationship, a loving husband, or a family - this is not your guy. I wouldn’t waste one more minute of my time with him... 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orange wood Posted December 17, 2019 Author Share Posted December 17, 2019 Thanks all.. I also think that shouldn't be the way too. Yet I feel so emotionally attached to him. And scared to go through break up. Now then I know why I always feel he doesn't do much things for me. I am not sure his sexual desire is still stick to his ex or purely to prostitutes. Anyway, I will go through this. Again thanks all for idea & concern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Do not marry your boyfriend! he can’t get hard for you because of what he has conditioned himself to want sexually. He wouldn’t have a problem sexually with you if you were a prostitute. Run from this relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Betrayed&Stayed Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 On 12/16/2019 at 9:18 AM, Orange wood said: I still don't mind and think that things will be improved. Not it won't. It will only get worse. Run! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 6 hours ago, Orange wood said: I feel so emotionally attached to him. And scared to go through break up. this is a really bad reason to stay in a bad relationship. if you think it’s hard to leave now, just wait until you own property together, you have children together... it doesn’t get easier. Now is you time - you have control here and you need to RUN, don’t walk, away from this man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 On 12/17/2019 at 9:20 AM, Orange wood said: Anyway, I will go through this Then we'll see you in the divorce, infidelity or sexuality forum shortly. Not a recipe for success as his use of prostitutes provides legitimate emotional and medical reasons not to have sex with him... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Lost33 Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 Please get tested for diseases. If you are having intimate trouble early in the relationship, I do not see it ever getting better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orange wood Posted December 24, 2019 Author Share Posted December 24, 2019 On 12/21/2019 at 7:23 PM, Mr. Lucky said: Then we'll see you in the divorce, infidelity or sexuality forum shortly. Not a recipe for success as his use of prostitutes provides legitimate emotional and medical reasons not to have sex with him... Mr. Lucky I will go through this means I will go through with break up. Now already in progress. Thanks anyway 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Jordan's thoughts Posted December 28, 2019 Share Posted December 28, 2019 On 12/16/2019 at 4:18 PM, Orange wood said: I m in relationship for 4 yrs. And about to get married. During these 4 yrs, we didn't have much sex. In very first year he told me that i am not sexually attractive. I feel hurt & wanted to break up but he always come back to me. So we stay sexless and now we r preparing to get married. We try sex recently and find out that he can't get hard with me. I still don't mind and think that things will be improved. But when we are about to set wedding date, he told me that he is seeing prostitutes for years and if our sex life is not smooth, he might go on that after marriage and ask me if I am ok with it. Should I still get married with him? This Hugh red flag was given to u on a silver platter and good thing it came before ur marriage, please be wise no matter how painful it may be but your wellbeing comes first and u deserve someone who puts your well-being first Link to post Share on other sites
Confused48 Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 Why are either of you interested in marriage? If you have a bond with this person, and it sounds like you do, it sounds more like a friendship bond than romantic one. It seems one or both of you are trying to make it something that it is not. Just bc he isn't sexually attracted to you doesn't mean you can't care for each other and be friends. I do agree with the others that you should not get married but there is a whole lot in between, "I'm never going to speak to you again" and "Lets get married." Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 WTF! He is a pig 🐷, OW you deserve better, he isn’t a monogamous person, don’t compromise your values for him. He won’t do it for you. Call the wedding off and exspose him to all. Buffer Link to post Share on other sites
Dimjo9 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 Orangewood, You are perfectly fine, nothing is wrong with you.. Your soon to be husband has mental & emotional issues that needs professional help. Don’t marry him, break it up & start new.. seek a life that you like to satisfy no one !! I can see you moving forward & have a good life.. Link to post Share on other sites
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