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How do i learn to cope, i feel very hopeless


Backtolife

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I met a girl at new years eve 7 years ago. I fell in love so fast, probably from the sight of her. She was 18, she never had a boyfriend before me, or really much of anything with boys except kissing them. Man i liked her. We ended up staying together for 6 years, best person through and through that i have ever known. I adore her beyond anything, to me she is just the most beautiful soul. Three years ago we moved to a big city together, a lot of my friends did too. It was terrible for us in the end, we had to move all the time. Housing and money was a constant stress factor. She kept a steady job but i didnt.                                                                                                                    We just kept getting screwed over. Thought we finally had a secure place for the next 6 years. So happy together, painting it and making it our home. Only a month in we got cancelled again. I took it so f***ing bad. I couldnt handle it, she wanted to move back home around her family. I wanted to stay where life had been. Oh im so sorry i made the wrong choice. We ended up moving back but i was never in the process. It was a bad 4-5 months from being cancelled to living in our old city for a month. We fought more and more, had breakdowns. One day she said "i can't do it anymore" and the relationship was over. Even then she kept seeing me and talking to me.                                                                                      7 more months we texted every day. 7 months of trial for me to get better, but i didnt. I didnt fix myself yet baby, and now youre ready to go...                                       I will have to cope with complete loss now, but it's so tough. I still want nothing but her and i know she wont feel me like that again. I have to let go but i dont know how. I feel so alone when im with other people. I cant forgive myself altho i never dared to expect forever from her.

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