EarToHear93 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 We hello there I just needed a place to vent so please take care of me. To start of I am a female, Muslim and divorcee... The triple threat I have been divorced for a year, being a female in a Muslim community is hard when you are one. I always tried to see the bright side but it is hard when everyone will give you the dirty look whenever you pass. The divorce was hard as I really married out of good intentions.. Being raised that marriage is part of female life I just look up to the day I got married Sadly the marriage lasted for a year. My ex didn't talk much... Kept coming late to home... Stop caring about me to the degree that someone broke onto out home while he was away while I was in home cooking dinner and when my ex managed to get back to home he didn't care he just took a shower , prepared his coffee and went to watch TV. I was sacred to death didn't even remember to call the police I just called for his help and he didn't care.. It took me a year after our divorce to recover mentally and physically. I thought that I finally put everything behind me but today I heard that he is going to get married and somehow for some reason my heart clenched and my mind started to wonder Was I not enough ? Was I not beautiful? Did I even meen anything to him? Am I worthy of being love? I just don't know if I am still mourning what I had or what thought I had.. It hurts... Someone help Link to post Share on other sites
fishlips Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I hear you. I'm from a culture where divorce is frowned upon as well. Are you in a western country or a Muslim one? If you living in a western country, divorce isn't a big deal even if you are Muslim. There are a lot of support groups, and counseling is a good option. If you are in your home country, it's a lot harder I know. Do you have family support? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EarToHear93 Posted December 17, 2019 Author Share Posted December 17, 2019 Am on my home country Yes I have my family support and I am very thankful for it. However sometimes they mention him and try to offer me to remarry even when the know that I am not ready yet. I just don't get it why do I even feel sad. I really thought that I was over it Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 You need some closure in that you need answers to the questions you voiced. Did he not tell you why he wanted the divorce? Did his reason make sense at the time? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 I assume you two had no kids? Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 17, 2019 Share Posted December 17, 2019 Truth be told, he probably won't treat the new woman any better than he treated you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 On 12/17/2019 at 11:52 PM, EarToHear93 said: Being raised that marriage is part of female life I just look up to the day I got married I just don't know if I am still mourning what I had or what thought I had.. You had dreams and expectations on what marriage was like, it (he) was not what you expected or could live with. We make the best decisions in life with the information we have at the time. You made the best decision for you when you divorced him!!! Never look back as a mistake. Move on with life. Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 On 12/17/2019 at 11:17 AM, EarToHear93 said: Am on my home country Yes I have my family support and I am very thankful for it. However sometimes they mention him and try to offer me to remarry even when the know that I am not ready yet. I just don't get it why do I even feel sad. I really thought that I was over it many times, it isn't the individual that you may be mourning or thinking about... but rather what that person represented. so that person is moving on to another marriage... stage on his life again... and you're comparing yourself/situation with his... he seems to be moving on with life... what are you doing? that may be what's going on in your mind...perhaps? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 I feel you man. Most of my exes are married now and I m single at 27 now recently splited. Its very natural for how you are feeling about the news of him getting married but this s*** happens to the best of us. Dont question yourself at all he sounds like a absolute jerk and cold hearted person. And his marriage doesn't describe you in any way. Sometimes people are like your ex is. Sadly in today's world relationship and marriages barely last for forever. He is getting married let it be you'll be getting married or find someone new also. Life isnt over yet for you. Stay positive about yourself please dont let his "new' life put you down. Yes you are over it sometimes old feelings come back after years and haunts us, I mean sensitive people like us. You'll get over it again stay around family and friends ok. His new wife will be his problem. People like your ex are never happy for long. I don't think you need any closure from that jerk live your life consider him dead he couldn't give you back what you did for him. Take care ok and dont forget you are not alone suffering from this there are many. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 24, 2019 Share Posted December 24, 2019 Hey he was the one with the deficit, not you. I pity this new woman he married. I'm so sorry that you are in a bad position now. It's no wonder you were ready to take on some blame for his apathetic behavior because you're automatically condemned instead of him. it's not fair and I wouldn't hang around too many people who thought that was okay. I am really glad you have the support of your family. Link to post Share on other sites
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