GirlinMD Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 I need some advice/input on how to deal with a problem I have never encountered before....I am a 24 yr old woman who has been involved in a relationship with a 26 yr old guy for about a year now. My problem is a lack of sexual interest, but on his part. Although I am a very attractive, sexy (or so I thought), funny, spontaneous girl my boyfriend rarely seems interested in sex. I almost always have to initiate it and mos tof the time I get turned down or I get an excuse ("I'm tired" "Maybe later", etc). Now I was willing to accept the fact that perhaps he and I just have different sex drives. I want it every single day, while he seems content with once every week and a half. Here's the kicker: he still masturbates almost every day. I know it, because I find the evidence (i.e. finding porn DVD's in the DVD player when there was another non-porn DVD in there earlier in the day, etc). And as far as the porn thing is concerned I would normally not even blink an eye. I own quite a few of my own, watch them when I masturbate, which I do now quite frequently because he and I never have sex! That is the primary reason I masturbate and it always has been that way. Guys, why would he continue to get himself off with porn daily and almost never have sex with me, when I am willing and able 24/7? When ever we do have sex it's awesome, sometimes naughty and sometimes nice. I spice things up with new positions, talking dirty, fantasies, etc, but I always have to initiate it and quite frankly, it's starting to have a very negative effect on our relationship and my self-esteem. I have talked to him about it, he knows I want him to initiate it more often, and he knows that it makes me feel bad/unattractive/undesirable/upset that our sex life is becoming non-existent. I have told him flat out what I want/need and how this sitution can be fixed. He told me just the other day "You are the most important thing to me and I need to start ascting like it". Yet nothing changes. I've never had this problem with any other guys I have ever dated. If anything, I am used to being pounced on and feeling sexy and desired my the man in my life nearly every day. Before all of this I never had any doubts about myself and my appearance. It's gotten to the point that I feel guilty because I find myself fantasizing about other men and have even contemplated cheating, for no other reason then just to have sex (I'd never do it, but the fact that the thought even crossed my mind made me feel terrible). Does anyone have any advice or has anyone ever been in this situation? Why is this happening?
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