Snotty Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 i believe i have recently been ghosted. everybody's story is the same. boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy and girl have fun, girls blows up guys phone, boy and girl have over the top passionate sex, girl starts getting distant, girl ghosts....... and i know it happens the other way also. i'm not really here to talk about my experience, just want to hear others.... maybe it will help me understand mine. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 I've done a lot of ghosting on girls that were pretty and smart. I don't know why. Most of my relationships last 3-6 months before I ghost. I get bored with women (even if they have a lot to offer) very easily. I usually wait for her to get mad at me or start an argument and then I just ghost never to see or talk to her again. I know what I do is bad but I can't help it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 I have never ghosted anybody nor have I been ghosted that I am aware of. I was always a serial monogamist. If you go on one or 2 dates with somebody & never talk again, so be it. Once you pass the one month mark & have been on a few dates & especially if you have sex, IMO you are rotten person if you don't break up with words. Ideally that should be done sensitively in person but in this day & age even a goodbye text so the other person knows you are done is better then nothing. It's cruel to leave somebody wondering. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 ^ I suppose i'm a rotten person ☹️ 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 2 hours ago, Snotty said: i believe i have recently been ghosted. everybody's story is the same. boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy and girl have fun, girls blows up guys phone, boy and girl have over the top passionate sex, girl starts getting distant, girl ghosts....... and i know it happens the other way also. i'm not really here to talk about my experience, just want to hear others.... maybe it will help me understand mine. I look at ghosting differently....these are usually after you met and had a few dates. There are various reasons behind it. This is very different from someone you had some online communication or phone or text or emails then they poof before face to face meeting Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 Vanishing before meeting is par for the course. It's not real until you meet. That said once you have been on more then one date with somebody be mature & polite. Just tell them it's not working rather then leaving them bewildered. Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 Ghosting is the coward's way out. Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 I can't really say she ghosted me.. i mean the result was the same, but when it was over and i realized she had a guy on the side all lined up to replace me... i told her some pretty mean inconvenient truths i knew she wouldn't want to hear., and she blocked me from every social medium and talk/text/vid contacts. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: Ghosting is the coward's way out. then i'm a coward 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 2 hours ago, alphamale said: I've done a lot of ghosting on girls that were pretty and smart. I don't know why. Most of my relationships last 3-6 months before I ghost. I get bored with women (even if they have a lot to offer) very easily. I usually wait for her to get mad at me or start an argument and then I just ghost never to see or talk to her again. I know what I do is bad but I can't help it. By this and judging by what you’ve written in your other posts I believe that you get high from the thrill of the chase and the honeymoon period, but you become uncomfortable (and bored) when a relationship moves to a deeper level of intimacy. Do you ghost just because you’re bored or is fear mixed up in there too? Op, people ghost early on in dating process because it takes balls to have an incredibly embarrassing and awkward conversation with someone they barely know. I’ve never ghosted anyone but I can see why people do it. It’s not easy having that conversation and most people want to avoid hurting other people at all costs. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: Do you ghost just because you’re bored or is fear mixed up in there too? I need variety more than anything else Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 5 minutes ago, alphamale said: I need variety more than anything else Then the women you’ve been dating haven’t been fulfilling your needs to begin with. Your self depreciation in this thread isn’t like your normal tone. Don’t give yourself such a hard time for the mistakes you’ve made. We’ve all made bad choices, it doesn’t make us bad people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: Then the women you’ve been dating haven’t been fulfilling your needs to begin with. Your self depreciation in this thread isn’t like your normal tone. Don’t give yourself such a hard time for the mistakes you’ve made. We’ve all made bad choices, it doesn’t make us bad people. Not to say he's doing this consciously, but self deprecating ourselves for past mistakes can often be a way to make the person who is pointing this out to feel guilty for pointing it out.. and continuing pointing it out ... b/c it kinda stops the conversation so you don't have to dive into it further or deeper.... how do i know this? cuz i used to do it quite a bit until someone pointed it out to me what i was doing.. i didn't even really realize it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 The only girl I've ever ghosted was a ONS in high school (not full sex, just "heavy petting"). She lived in another state and I did not drive. She sent a letter to me through a mutual friend and I never responded. The mutual friend was like "real nice" but I explained: I don't have a car and she lives far away. What's the point? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 (edited) 4 hours ago, alphamale said: ^ I suppose i'm a rotten person ☹️ Have you considered therapy for this? Do you actually want to stop? Was this before or after your difficult divorce? No need to answer these questions, you crazy diamond, just some food for thought for you. Perhaps they just wore out their welcomes, with random precision? I think you could figure out ways to stop doing this if you want, but it's up to you whether you want to. Edited December 19, 2019 by mark clemson added song lyricis Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 36 minutes ago, mark clemson said: The only girl I've ever ghosted was a ONS in high school (not full sex, just "heavy petting"). She lived in another state and I did not drive. She sent a letter to me through a mutual friend and I never responded. The mutual friend was like "real nice" but I explained: I don't have a car and she lives far away. What's the point? not having wheels really puts the kaibosh on dating Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 As for ghosting, I don't do it... If I don't want to see a woman any longer, I will tell her. My general rule for communication (with anyone) is 24 hours. Now if we have been dating over a week or two, I'll leave two messages (a day apart), if the woman hasn't returned my call or communication within 24 hours after the second message, I'm going to assume we are no longer dating. I'll shower up and head to the bar/pub to find her replacement. NEXT!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 On 12/19/2019 at 10:39 AM, Snotty said: i believe i have recently been ghosted. everybody's story is the same. boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy and girl have fun, girls blows up guys phone, boy and girl have over the top passionate sex, girl starts getting distant, girl ghosts....... and i know it happens the other way also. i'm not really here to talk about my experience, just want to hear others.... maybe it will help me understand mine. What is your story Snotty? Link to post Share on other sites
CLS63AMG Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 90% of ghosting is caused by rebounding. They get dumped or have a really big fight on Monday and are on a dating app by Wednesday, meet you on Friday and are back with their ex by next Wednesday. Blame online "dating". Of course its not as cut and dried as that, they could have been broken up for a year but if her mind is still on her ex, it isn't going to be on you. Huge red flags are when she moved really fast, all that means is she's trying to slot you in right where she was with her ex and that has an almost immediate expiry date. Link to post Share on other sites
CLS63AMG Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 On 12/19/2019 at 11:23 AM, alphamale said: I've done a lot of ghosting on girls that were pretty and smart. I don't know why. Most of my relationships last 3-6 months before I ghost. I get bored with women (even if they have a lot to offer) very easily. I usually wait for her to get mad at me or start an argument and then I just ghost never to see or talk to her again. I know what I do is bad but I can't help it. That isn't ghosting, that's repeatedly dating women you aren't even into. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 I have been ghosted, slow faded, threatened by ex'es .... I was as shocked as anyone is when it happens to you for the first time. But as you gain more experience in dating during this new millennium, you come to realize that dating now is almost transactional until you break through the barrier and develop true feelings. Until that happens, there's very little respect and more just keeping appearances to get what you ultimately want. At that point the transaction is satisfied and some people just move on, the same way you don't keep in touch with the guy who sold you your car. Sad? Yeah. You gotta have some tough skin in this game and while i would say "don't trust anybody" ... it's actually only satisfying when you do let your guard down and someone rewards that commitment. No matter how many times you get knocked down or how hard you fall, just keep on getting up. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 13 hours ago, CLS63AMG said: That isn't ghosting, that's repeatedly dating women you aren't even into. I disagree CLS63AMG. I was "into" most of them but I get bored after 3-6 months hence the ghosting Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted December 21, 2019 Share Posted December 21, 2019 On 12/19/2019 at 11:43 AM, GeorgiaPeach1 said: Ghosting is the coward's way out. I went out on a date with a gal I met over Match a few weeks back. Her full body pic was extremely dated and she was much heavier than that pic showed; like 40 pounds heavier. We'd been chatting over the phone for a bit (tough to make plans over the Thanksgiving holiday) and I enjoyed our conversations. But, I wasn't physically attracted to her, she must've sensed it on our date and it wasn't much fun. So, I had one of three choices; placate her with a lie, tell her that I wasn't attracted to her, or ghost her. I opted to ghost her. She was going to walk away hurt, no matter what I said, but ghosting her made me the bad guy which hopefully softens things a bit. I wanted to just be honest and tell her she needed to be more forthcoming with her pictures if she wanted to date successfully. I've said it many times on this forum and I'll say it again; I would much rather be ghosted than fed b.s. from a woman. I've done a lot of dating, I've been ghosted a few times and it's much less bothersome than the some of the random garbage I've heard from women. A couple of fun dates, sex, I get "I realized I'm just not ready to date, I'm sorry..." and then they're active on the dating site the next day. Link to post Share on other sites
hercules22 Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 i have once ghosted by a women only for her to reappear a year later they always just see you as a option sadly Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted December 22, 2019 Share Posted December 22, 2019 It's a long story, but I was ghosted five years ago and while I never would have believed it then, I couldn't be happier now that she did because I'm better off without than with her. There was just something about her I couldn't quite put my finger on. And I didn't fully trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
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