love4me1991 Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 (edited) So I was the other woman for almost 2 years. He was a higher up in the company that I still have to deal with (although not on a daily basis thank god). Anyways we talked everyday saw each other at least twice a week in the beginning. He was very caring. However after about 8 months I would get really upset when he would spend time with the wife (please dont judge, Im hurting in other ways) I blew up on him one day, however he continued to use me when he needed for the last few months. Up until this week I still get very upset. We no longer speak daily, barely once a week. I need some help letting go or some advice. I even get emotional when I get a work email from him. I’ve tried blocking his number but I keep going back and fourth wondering what if... I am at a loss as if I need to quit my job. I made the biggest mistake ever, am now paying for it and have never been hurt this bad even after real relationships that lasted longer. Edited December 19, 2019 by love4me1991 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 (edited) One strategy would be to "never waste a crisis" and leave for a better position elsewhere. Mostly what helps us get over the feelings is time as your brain slowly adjusts. This normally takes more time than we'd like. Continuing to see him/communicate presumably slows it down more and re-triggers feelings, unfortunately. NC may be best if possible. Some additional things to consider are: - Time in nature (boosts serotonin); about 10 min/day at least or looking at quality nature pics on your computer if snowed/rained in - Exercise within your limits (boosts endogenous opiates) - Socializing with friends (boosts dopamine) - A new squeeze/some flings (temporary); helps offset the old person but doesn't let you fully "get over" him so a mixed bag - Hobbies or distractions such as good novels or TV shows - Finding new social roles (such as volunteering or participating or running things like a club or group) preferably with some other people around; this lets you shift your "identity" into new roles where this person isn't part of it Depending on how distressed you are, the above may only "take the edge off" a bit or the may help a great deal. Depends on the situation and/or your specific brain, etc. Edited December 19, 2019 by mark clemson sp 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 I think you need to find your anger. that, and I am a true believer that every experience in life has a lesson. What’s your lesson? Focus on the lesson, and you will grow... focus on the hurt, and you will continue to suffer... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love4me1991 Posted December 22, 2019 Author Share Posted December 22, 2019 Thank you for the input !!! I will definitely try some of these ideas. He tried to text me last night and I totally shrugged him off like he has been doing to me. Felt great for once 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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