Did this so called friend make an unnecessary comment?

[Metsgal]

I became friends with one of the girls in a meetup group-It was probably the 3rd event. Anyway, we were talking about concerts and she seems to be a big concert goer. I've been to a few concerts/shows, I just don't go to them, because I don't see that much appeal to it, plus I think its a waste of money. She then bluntly asked me, "Have you ever been to a concert?" I told her yes, and then she asked me what was the last show I went to, I told her that I went and saw a rock show last year, she then had this disgusting look on her face and told me that I "need to get out more." I'm like WTF? I thought it was a bitchy comment and kind of rude/unnecessary. Just because I don't go to 1000 concerts like she does, doesn't mean that she's better than me. And the whole comment, that I need to get out more, what? That I'm a loser because I don't go to shows and spend 100 bucks? I'm already "going out" by attending events. Was she being condescending or am I making a big deal out of this?

Edited December 20, 2019 by Metsgal

[basil67]

She was putting you in your place: She gave a snippy comeback because you told her that you think her interest is a waste of money.

 

 

[Metsgal]

Um no, I NEVER told her that going to concerts are a waste of money, that is my private opinion and I didn't even mention that to her.  And in what place is she putting me act? because I never made any kind of snippy comments at her. 

Edited December 20, 2019 by Metsgal

[basil67]

When you wrote what you felt about concerts and followed it with the words "she then bluntly asked me", it sounded like her words were in response to yours.   Sorry that I misunderstood.

 

So yes, if you said nothing negative, her response was rude.   If it's out of character, I'd chalk it up to her having a bad day.  Very few of us get it perfect all the time.  But if you find it's a frequent thing she does, then write off the friendship.

[Ellener]

In all the modern comedy shows people make abrupt, obnoxious, thoughtless comments which come across as rude and humorous; when we try to pull off the same thing in real life it just comes across as rude. I wouldn't read any more into it than that...🤨

[caveman621]

Tough to tell without having witnessed all the context and tone and body language and expressions and all that.  Who knows?  She could have been flirting!

[preraph]

She's probably looking for a man to support her concert habit!!🤑

[LuckyM]

Don't analyze this much. She doesn't like you. I'm with you on concerts, unless they are free and outside

in the summer. Maybe you had an expression on your face that showed dismay or annoyance.

[mark clemson]

Sometimes people spout the first thing that pops into their heads without thinking about how it'll come across. Sounds like this was one of those times.

 

Seems like maybe you two would be missing a key shared interest as "friends". Also if she's like this a lot she probably drives people away.

[Metsgal]

4 hours ago, caveman621 said:

Tough to tell without having witnessed all the context and tone and body language and expressions and all that.  Who knows?  She could have been flirting!

 

In case some of you don't know, I'm a woman and was talking about one of my so-called "girlfriends." 

I'm not a man.  

 

She had a look of disgust when I told her about the rock show that I went to last year, and I don't understand why she made some catty response, that I "need to get out more." I mean, if I asked someone what was the last concert they went to and they told me they saw- for example -the band KISS. I wouldn't response to that person, that they need to get out more because they saw that band last year. I would ask that person, "oh , how was the show?" 

 

Also she is a big country music fan, I'm not into country music, so when she told me she went to see  Luke Combs- I didn't tell her, "I HATE COUNTRY MUSIC, GROSS." Most of you would probably say it would be rude to say that. I asked, her how was the show? Did you like it?

 

Does anyone on here see where I'm coming from?

Edited December 21, 2019 by Metsgal

[mark clemson]

Think lots of folks do

[basil67]

Definitely see where you're coming from.  But she may not have had a reason for saying what she did.  It's most likely just a reflection of who she is.  

 

My best advice is to be polite with her, but don't consider her a friend.  And then let it go.  Holding onto hurt over what someone else said doesn't do anyone any good.

[Piddy]

Yup, she was being condescending and you needed a quick retort like, 'I get out plenty, but concerts aren't at the top of my list.' or something like that.  The fact that she got in a cheap shot at you pissed you off. 

 

I'd be pissed also, but not enough to lose sleep over it.  Be ready the next time you talk to her.   

[LivingWaterPlease]

Metsgal, people speak to you (and behave toward you) the way they speak (behave) because of who they are, not because of who you are.

 

When you actually realize this is true it will save you so much grief, anger, hurt feelings. And also save you from getting to be close with someone who's rude and/or disrespectful.  

 

If you could follow this woman around for a week listening to and watching every interaction she has with others you'd find she treats others as dismissively as she treated you.

 

Same goes for those who treat you well. They do it because of who they are. Sometimes we (all of us) mess up and do or say something we wish we hadn't, yet there are always those who will overlook it and give us grace, not because of who we are, but because of who they are. They tend to treat everyone else that way, too.  These are usually very popular people, the types of people everyone else loves.

 

The person who mistreats you is usually the type of person who isn't well liked generally.