Should I be disappointed that my husband hasn't decided on a gift yet?

[1Jessie86]

My husband and I are newlyweds approaching the year mark.  We just moved overseas as well and are expecting our first baby.  He's an amazing man but already he's struggling to find a gift for me for Christmas.

 

He asks me daily, "what do you want?" So romantic... I wish he would take matters into his own hands, be a little spontaneous, and figure it out on his own. It doesn't even have to be a gift for goodness sakes. I'd appreciate a heartfelt letter. Why is he doing this? 5 days until Christmas and he can't take the time to do a little research? Should I be concerned or disappointed that as newlyweds he's already struggling when it comes to something as simple as gift giving?  Or is this just typical man behavior?

[Pleasant-Sage]

Please excuse me for not being so pleasant but you are probably going to need to take a look at your own attitude towards this situation in order to find an answer to your condescending questions.

 

Seriously, your tone and obvious disgust with him is nauseating. 

 

3 hours ago, 1Jessie86 said:

He's an amazing man but...

 

Quote

He asks me daily, "what do you want?" So romantic...

 

I am led to believe you aren't communicating to your husband properly. So, your disappointment is your own reward. 

 

What did you get him?

Edited December 21, 2019 by Pleasant-Sage

[Els]

I'm confused, did you get married without dating? What did he do last year?

 

Quote

I wish he would take matters into his own hands, be a little spontaneous, and figure it out on his own

 

What if you just tell him this?

[alphamale]

9 hours ago, 1Jessie86 said:

  Or is this just typical man behavior?

most men hate shopping and hate giving gifts so it is typical man behaviour

[Mrin]

Omg. Seriously? Have you been in a relationship with a man before???

 

I want you to print out your original post and save it some where. In five years I want you to pull it out and see how hard you laugh. 

 

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm one of the most generous people you would ever meet, yet I despise shopping, never really know what to get anyone, and just really have not much interest  in it...I figure he is probably the same...I know I am not alone either..

Don't worry about it, and don't use this as any kind of qualifying criteria...If he's a good man, its a non issue, IMO, but I am aware that a lot of women get really jerked off over this stuff, so I dunno…

TFY

[LivingWaterPlease]

He probably doesn't want you to be disappointed on Christmas morning. He knows he could go out, buy you anything at all, and thus be done with it! But instead he cares about your Christmas experience! That's a good thing, not a bad one! 

 

Why not compliment him about how much it means to you that he cares about your Christmas present? That would be one way to deposit good will in the bank of your relationship! Then make a suggestion that would be easy for him to fulfill.

[Ellener]

I think it would be lovely if people were good at this stuff, heartfelt letters and perfect little gifts and gestures, but let's face it- we're not.

 

I gave an old friend a four leaf clover in a frame yesterday and I suspect by her reaction she would have preferred something more material, whereas I love the unusual and simple and non-material; she gave me a fancy teapot and teacup which though very nice, it'll probably never be used! Another friend who is an artist- I always wish she would just draw a card or little picture, to the point I told her once; she just laughed and has continued to send regular Hallmark cards...

 

It's really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. It's the love that counts. My ex husband ( who turned out to be a jerk in most every way ) gave lovely material gifts over the years...and the best thing he ever gave me was my son, even though he didn't stick around to finish raising him. 

 

You've got a wonderful gift for you both coming in the new year. And maybe a few extra hormones?

 

Good luck, and Merry Christmas!

 

 

 

 

[basil67]

Perhaps give him a broad idea and let him figure it out from there:    Jewellery, something from a favourite shop, sleepwear etc.

 

But yes, I agree this is pretty much a man thing.   If you generally feel loved and appreciated, this is probably not a hill to die on.

[The Outlaw]

Some people are just hard to shop for hence him asking you. He likely doesn't want to disappoint.  

[mark clemson]

Everyone's a little bit different. It sounds like he's not good at what you're good at (figuring out something heartfelt/romantic) - something you should probably recognize and adjust for. And yes, many men aren't good at this. Agree that he's probably a bit anxious about disappointing you. So you probably need to drop him some hints.

[K.K.]

Just tell the man what you want. He obviously wants to please you by getting you what you want. So tell.him. what.you.want. 

 

And be thankful and grateful that he’s there right beside you asking what you want -so that he can please you -instead of lying dead in a ditch somewhere. 

 

Merry Christmas ! 😕