Help! Is he just extremely busy or not interested?

[Black_Angel]

Hi,

 

I have recently begun dating a new guy who I met online. We've been seeing each other for about 6 weeks. Weeks 1-3 were great, everything seemed to be going really well, we talked everyday either on the phone or IM, and saw each other 1-2 times a week.

 

Now, I have *always* been the initiator in this relationship. 99% of the time, if we went out, it was my suggestion. The only thing he initiates is IM conversations and the occasional phone call. But, that's been ok, because he's never acted cold or distant. He's an extremely private person, and I've been over to his place several times, which I considered a big deal since only 2 people have ever been there in the 4 years he's lived in my area. We've also hung out with each others kids on the weekends. He has a highly demanding job where he works 15+ hours a day, 7 days a week, so I was always flattered that he would stay up and talk to me for hours or go out at night during the week after having a killer days at work.

 

I did make it clear that there would be no sex until we had exclusivity (I have been seeing others all along, not sure if he has but I don't think so), but unfortunately I reneged on that last week after we had dinner and drinks. Simultaneously, he has a big project due at the office next month, and has been working even more than usual if that's possible. So he's been getting home at 10 PM, having to get back up at 4 am, leaving no time to chat, talk, or hang out.

 

I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid, but I can't help but feel the sex has changed things. I want to believe that work and sheer tiredness on his part are responsible for the fact that we hardly talk anymore and haven't seen each other in a week, but I don't want to make excuses either. He did tell me on IM the other night (a chat he initiated) when I asked him how work was going that things are hectic, but they won't always be that way, that things should calm down in November, but I'm not sure how to interpret that.

 

I wouldn't be nearly as unsure about this situation if I hadn't had sex with him, which I now frankly regret, since it's created further attachment on my part. I think I may have acted clingy early last week by stopping by unannounced (even though he said he didn't mind, but I think he did), during Monday night football nonetheless. WTF was I thinking? Since then I have deliberately given him his space, which is why we have only had 2 brief chats on IM in the last week. Chatting versus talking on the phone is not unusual since we hardly ever talk on the phone, but the brevity of the chats is--we've gone from hours to minutes.

 

Insight?