Ex assaulted a woman in public...

[KissingFire]

Hey everyone.

 

I have completely moved on from my ex, but he still finds a way to try and slime his way back into my life in his own f*cked up way. I need to vent, so I hope this is the right place for it. We have not spoken for over a year and I know nothing of his life anymore (I blocked him from everything) but now suddenly he could potentially be involved with my current BF and brother. 

 

Last night I received a call from my brother to let me know that he had been told from a work colleague that my ex had physically assaulted a woman in public. He sucker-punched her so hard in the head that she's in hospital and her partner is absolutely bat-sh*t crazy with vengeance. My brother and this guy are prison officers and the police officers that handled it last night included my current partner - the love of my life. My BF had to be stood down as he wanted to kill him. I have told him how he battered me, abused me and called me every name under the sun, and he said he would punch his lights out if he ever came across him. However, my BF is a cop, and a brilliant one at that, and his superior told him to back off and let others handle him as he was a person of interest to him, (obviously my ex-partner.) 

 

From what I've heard from people who have contacted me about it, my ex was a vile, violent animal and spat at the officers and sustained multiple injuries after bouncers and members of the public threw him to the ground. This woman walked up to him and had a conversation with him (obviously said something he didn't want to hear) and as she walked away, he hit her from behind like the coward he is and continued to punch and kick her before he was stopped by bouncers outside of a club. My brother's friend who contacted him only told my brother about this as he wanted to know how they knew each-other,  as he is still friends with him on his old social media page. I took a glimpse on my friends profile, and I am still everywhere. I deleted everything I could and will try to request FB to take it down as he is no longer active on that account and hasn't been for about 3 years, but anyone who hears about this and checks his name will see old photos of us as a couple. I am repulsed and ashamed of being associated with such a beast. He will hopefully go to prison, which is where he belongs. Of course, he was drugged and drunk out of his mind, but my anxiety spiked all throughout the night and today. I have been through six months of therapy to get over what he did to me, and I feel myself becoming a little more tense, even though this has nothing to do with me.

 

I feel guilty that I never reported him to the police. I feel guilty that I never told my father what he did to me for fear he'd be jailed for what he'd do to him in return. Maybe I could have prevented this? But I was scared, and didn't want to live my life looking over my shoulder. In my country for domestic abuse, he probably would have got 2 years. Maybe even half of that. Maybe even nothing at all if he resorted to using his "mental illness" or "anger issues" as a cover. He told me if I ever got him sent down that he would make my life a living hell and he warned me I'd have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life. Was it a threat? Maybe. It doesn't stop me feeling like a coward. I could handle him spitting at me, hurting me, abusing me, I was used to it... But he viciously attacked a woman while she walked away from him in public in front of crowds and bouncers. Who does that? I feel sick to my stomach.

 

 My BF reminded me that none of this was my fault, and I shouldn't feel anything other than disgust. He told me he'd protect me and would never let my ex touch me or anyone I loved ever again. As far as I'm aware, he's still in custody, but I'm still trying to shut out the bad memories that are slowly creeping through. Perhaps I'll try and book a session with my therapist again, but I wanted to come on here and vent as well.

 

I can't believe I once fell for his lies and his crying and apologies. He battered a woman. He hurt her so bad, I don't even know if she's okay. How could I have once loved such a monster? 

 

Edited December 23, 2019 by KissingFire

[mark clemson]

17 hours ago, KissingFire said:

I can't believe I once fell for his lies and his crying and apologies. He battered a woman. He hurt her so bad, I don't even know if she's okay. How could I have once loved such a monster?

 

Our brains are funny things and it's certainly possible to be in love with the wrong person, someone who's bad for us. It happens to many, many people.  Also perhaps he's gotten worse over time. At any rate, it sounds like you don't need the advice to stay resolute with NC, etc. So, wish you all the best with your new life and relationship.