SpinScratch Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 I've been living with my girlfriend and her 7 year old daughter for 3 months, in my home. We've been together for 9 months. I thought I would want to spend the rest of my life with her. There are a lot of things about her that make her a great girlfriend. We get a long really well most of the time. But every few weeks, she will do this thing where she will stop talking to me, not respond to me, walk by me in the house and not even look at me and create a lot of tension between us, without any real explanation. I will try and try to get her to talk, ask her whats wrong, apologize 1000 times for something I may or may not have done but she will just give me the cold shoulder. But lately I'm tired of trying to figure out this game. It usually seems to coincide with some kind of plans we made. Whether it's a family get together, a concert, a road trip or whatever. Sometimes she makes up with at the last minute, and sometimes she doesn't. Today it just happens to a trip to NYC to see all the Xmas attractions and see a broadway show that I paid $700 for the tickets. We are supposed to leave tomorrow morning and she hasn't talked to me in 3 days. Her daughter is staying with her father for 2 weeks and this was supposed to be our free time together. I took 2 weeks off from work and we were also going to Miami... and like every other time, we are not talking to each other. As I write this, she's going to bed in her daughters room. I really have no clue why we are doing this right now, and even if she decides to make up with me, I'll never get an explanation. The bottom line is, I'm thinking of leaving to go to new york/florida by myself. I traveled alone before her and I have no problem with it. I'm tired of playing this game with her and I can't live through this. If i leave her here, and go on vacation without her, It's going to be a huge deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Brennan72 Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 I am not sure how old you are, but I think you need to ask yourself "can't I do better than this"" This woman has absolutely nothing to offer. She is sullen, passive-aggressive, won't communicate, and doesn't show respect. She has a kid from a prior relationship, a baby-daddy, etc. I think you need to find a woman who really loves you, doesn't have a problematic past, and that you can marry and have children with. Someone who is going to give you a future. Ae you going to be a walking ATM machine / provider for a single mother who doesn't even respect you? You need to work on your self-esteem, improve your situation, and get out of this one. sorry, but that is how I see it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 Is this the woman who you don't want to have sex with? Who only six months ago you were toying with the idea of leaving her for another woman? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkFlamingo Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 5 hours ago, basil67 said: Is this the woman who you don't want to have sex with? Who only six months ago you were toying with the idea of leaving her for another woman? Maybe she is being passive-aggressive for him withholding in the bedroom and these are her moments to pay him back when he wants something from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted December 23, 2019 Author Share Posted December 23, 2019 6 hours ago, basil67 said: Is this the woman who you don't want to have sex with? Who only six months ago you were toying with the idea of leaving her for another woman? no that was someone else. This is the other woman Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 The other women? Well, well - lucky you. In my extremely humble opinion, she is going through waves of liking and disliking. She only has so much emotional energy to pretend she likes you and when the tank is empty you see how she really feels. A few days of no contact, except she lives there, and the tank is topped off and the acting starts again. Going off to a special event is like hitting the relationship afterburner. It gulps down that emotional fuel. What is filling the tank back up? You'd like to think she starts to miss you but I really think she starts thinking about all the things she will miss if she dumps you and the advantages that her child will be deprived of if she can just get over these stupid feelings of wanting to leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpinScratch Posted December 23, 2019 Author Share Posted December 23, 2019 I think you hit the nail on the head. And I dont even care. I just wanna get out of this with as little damage as possible. It starts by quietly getting in my car in a couple hours and leaving without her. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted December 23, 2019 Share Posted December 23, 2019 Agree with @schlumpy - There's probably little emotional and psychological interest in her. And I'm trying to tell everyone in 2020 - if you're over 25 - no games! Be your damn self, tell everyone else to be their damn self, and let the chips fall where they may. There's no honor or special prizes for being someone's door mat, or being the "good guy", or whatever. For every time I see a post on my FB feed about "he better treat you like a king" - I want to scream, "but yeah - too many women are just spoiled little princesses, or they're broken or they just don't know how to act like a "queen" (*vomiting in my mouth now), so please, find someone who loves you and values you and doesn't play games. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 Did you both make plans? Did she agree she wanted to go on this trip? If she did and she will not explain what the problem is, then it is not obvious that you have done anything wrong. I can see no way forward for you apart from relationship counselling (why bother when you've only been together three months?) or breaking up. Why should you put up with such treatment? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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