Shy when I first see him every visit

[blackbird_brokenwing]

(31F/31M) I’ve been with my long distance boyfriend for a year. We’ve known each other for a year and three months. We see each other every 3-4 weeks usually, sometimes more frequent and only once less. (He’s coming in 2 days and will get to stay for two weeks which I’m very excited about, especially because it’s been 6 weeks - the longest it’s ever been- since I’ve seen him). 
 

He has pointed out to me more than once that I act really standoffish when he first arrives. It’s usually the first 10-30 mins after he arrives (or I do, if I’m going there) that I feel really shy and self conscious. I can’t explain it. It only happens when we FIRST see each other, not the subsequent days or anything.  I guess it’s because it’s been some time apart and I briefly go back to the beginning of a relationship mode where I’m just shy and nervous. But he’s able to embrace me and act like absolutely no time apart. I appreciate this because it definitely speeds up the “warming up” process for me. 
 

but I know it bothers him that I do this because he feels unloved and unwanted. Any thoughts on why I do this and how to tell my brain to stop acting nervous and shy? 

Edited December 23, 2019 by blackbird_brokenwing

[Foxhall]

I think this is just part and parcel of being shy, 

 

its up to him also to help put you at ease,

 

I would not worry about it, if you have to 15 months you are doing something right, 

 

you could try pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, such as singing for your guy or something a few days into this upcoming visit, take the step to become relaxed together with no inhibitions.

[chillii]

Yeah , l agree, your getting there and you two are doing really well , that sort of ld things not easy.

Have you told him all that , just explain it all to him if you haven't , and make sure he knows it's not him , he'll be fine. But then he'll understand better what's happening , know you better , you'll feel better,  win win.

[Claire_123]

I personally had the same issues with my past relationship. But it’s all about being comfortable with each other. You can start by talking to each other (eg. how was summer? Did you know I started painting?) Have a conversation and tell each other everything, the same way you talk to each other online. That way you’ll get comfortable with each other and you won’t feel shy anymore.