ZA Dater Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 3 hours ago, 2BGoodAgain said: but one shouldn't be too invested that quickly, that soon... Took me a long time to learn this, invest nothing really because it akin to throwing money in the street, there is never any return at all. This is what I still don't get, no ladies are investing in this OP, why? Again almost NEVER has any lady invested anything in me, it just seems men are supposed to do all the investing and for what? I'll say it again OP, take a break, focus on what you like in life, what interests you and find some inner peace because chasing ladies isn't doing you any good. Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 9 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: Took me a long time to learn this, invest nothing really because it akin to throwing money in the street, there is never any return at all. This is what I still don't get, no ladies are investing in this OP, why? Again almost NEVER has any lady invested anything in me, it just seems men are supposed to do all the investing and for what? I'll say it again OP, take a break, focus on what you like in life, what interests you and find some inner peace because chasing ladies isn't doing you any good. i've met women who do the same thing... I've dated some like that... having said that... I tell all young women in my life... if a guy truly thinks you're worthwhile or truly falls in love with you, he'll change for you... and i'm not saying compromising morals or going from DEM to REP... but like grow.. to rise to your level... if he was shy, he'll find some way to overcome it... if he's ill-mannered, he'll overcome that too... the point is.. as much as people say we live in a gender neutral society, ... we don't. not just culturally or by society standards... it's simple biology. There are guys, there are girls, there are somethings in between... but in "general"... most guys are guys and most girls are girls... and opening a door for the girl, isn't an evil thing... unless you're doing that to get something from her, etc... i.e. buying dinner, movie, etc = sex, etc... so yeah... most women will wait for you to make the first move... if they're really into you, they might give you obvious hints... or a few women will jump your bones... the point is.. most women don't...and if they don't, but you really, really want to be with them... you jump over nails, hot coals and crazy high emotional walls to be with them. having said that... remember there's a very fine line between a seducer/prince and a creeper/rapist... whether or not she likes you... sucks, huh? but oh well, that's life. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 37 minutes ago, 2BGoodAgain said: i've met women who do the same thing... I've dated some like that... having said that... I tell all young women in my life... if a guy truly thinks you're worthwhile or truly falls in love with you, he'll change for you... and i'm not saying compromising morals or going from DEM to REP... but like grow.. to rise to your level... if he was shy, he'll find some way to overcome it... if he's ill-mannered, he'll overcome that too... the point is.. as much as people say we live in a gender neutral society, ... we don't. not just culturally or by society standards... it's simple biology. There are guys, there are girls, there are somethings in between... but in "general"... most guys are guys and most girls are girls... and opening a door for the girl, isn't an evil thing... unless you're doing that to get something from her, etc... i.e. buying dinner, movie, etc = sex, etc... so yeah... most women will wait for you to make the first move... if they're really into you, they might give you obvious hints... or a few women will jump your bones... the point is.. most women don't...and if they don't, but you really, really want to be with them... you jump over nails, hot coals and crazy high emotional walls to be with them. having said that... remember there's a very fine line between a seducer/prince and a creeper/rapist... whether or not she likes you... sucks, huh? but oh well, that's life. I just don't see the return on investment. You can have the best manners, dress nicely, speak well, a good job, be ambitious and still land up nowhere in dating. Whereas, the OP for example could probably make himself happy by doing things which make him happy instead of using so many emotional resources chasing something that provided a very poor return on those resources. The whole thing can be rationalised if one wants to do that, the OP should take the emotion and expectation out of the equation, go into a conversation with no specific aim but also weigh up the odd, I see a stunning athletic blond I don't even bother because I know there will be a boyfriend somewhere or at the very least 20 guys infinitely more attractive superficially than me so I stand no chance there. Unfortunately so much of what dating is we, in my opinion, have no direct control over we can simply go out and be the best versions of ourselves and hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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