Butters14 Posted December 26, 2019 Share Posted December 26, 2019 Hello everyone, I haven't posted here in a long while! I'm a bit confused now at what to do. To keep the story short, I met this girl at a friend gathering and after talking to her for the night, I found myself really interested. I didn't get her number as she left relatively early. I saw her again 3 weeks later at another gathering and had a lot of fun chatting with her. I had her number at that time by default as we were in the same Whatsapp group so immediately after that, I texted her that it was nice talking to her (just to open up the chain of communication) and she replied likewise. A couple of days later, I texted her a dumb meme related to something we discussed and she commented something funny. And... that's it, I'm scared of taking any big leaps as if she rejects me, I will definitely see that group of friends again and I don't want to dread her being there every time. I'm not that great at reading women tbh so I have no idea if she kinda liked me or if she was just being friendly. Any idea how to proceed? (PS: I definitely know that she's single) Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted December 26, 2019 Share Posted December 26, 2019 11 hours ago, Butters14 said: I texted her that it was nice talking to her (just to open up the chain of communication) and she replied likewise. A couple of days later, I texted her a dumb meme related to something we discussed and she commented something funny. And... that's it, I'm scared of taking any big leaps You should have just offered the date. The more you do a "hit & run" (or "Hit & Hide") with the texting the more you look to her like just another timid low-confidence guy who is no better than the dozens of others she has had to deal with (and tired of). No guy has ever lost an eye or a finger offering a woman a date. If she doesn't go for it,...so what? Stop treating dates as it they are a relationship,...or something life threatening.. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 Next time you see her ask her out. i have had more luck in that kind of setting where I met someone a few times and we talked, next time we talked again. im asduming you are under 25. I think a large number of folks either don’t know how to date or know what it is irtskes. Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 When it comes to friends of friends, you always want to put a lot of pressure on up front... No dates, just fun. Do not text her at all, but rather, continue to be social in your group and you will probably run into her and when you do, chat her up and see how she responds to physical contact. There is a different trust factor between meeting strange women and meeting women who are friends of friends, the friend of friend woman will have an inherent trust in you based on how they trust the person you are connected to, so its a bit different... Avoid texting in this situation at all costs, keep all your interactions off the phone, in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butters14 Posted December 27, 2019 Author Share Posted December 27, 2019 (edited) Hello everyone, thank you for the replies, helps put things into perspective. 12 hours ago, PRW said: You should have just offered the date. The more you do a "hit & run" (or "Hit & Hide") with the texting the more you look to her like just another timid low-confidence guy who is no better than the dozens of others she has had to deal with (and tired of). No guy has ever lost an eye or a finger offering a woman a date. If she doesn't go for it,...so what? Stop treating dates as it they are a relationship,...or something life threatening.. I completely agree with what you said, I just didn't want to be embarrassed in front of the others but I shouldn't really... 6 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: Next time you see her ask her out. i have had more luck in that kind of setting where I met someone a few times and we talked, next time we talked again. im asduming you are under 25. I think a large number of folks either don’t know how to date or know what it is irtskes. Yes... I definitely think that's what I should. For info, I'm 27 and she's 24 but I'm really infatuated with this girl and I don't want to see this opportunity wasted... 6 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: When it comes to friends of friends, you always want to put a lot of pressure on up front... No dates, just fun. Do not text her at all, but rather, continue to be social in your group and you will probably run into her and when you do, chat her up and see how she responds to physical contact. There is a different trust factor between meeting strange women and meeting women who are friends of friends, the friend of friend woman will have an inherent trust in you based on how they trust the person you are connected to, so its a bit different... Avoid texting in this situation at all costs, keep all your interactions off the phone, in person. Funny how all 3 of you agree to avoid texting and just ask her out the next time I see her. I do see your point though, there's definitely some trust already built in, I am normally a lot more forward with girls but I don't think I got a moment "alone" with her so that's why I thought going the texting route. But I really don't like doing the "small talk" stuff through text as well. Edited December 27, 2019 by Butters14 Clarity Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 5 hours ago, Butters14 said: I completely agree with what you said, I just didn't want to be embarrassed in front of the others but I shouldn't really... I understand. I've been there. I it is not always easy to do what you need to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 The whole idea is to draw her in with one on one conversation (in person), have her focused on you. The conversation is flowing, you both are smiling, enjoying the interaction. Then suggest to go somewhere to talk or lure her away from the crowd with a suggestion to hangout on the balcony for some fresh air, or go check out the water feature or ask her to join you over at the buffet, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 what did her body language say? Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 12 hours ago, Butters14 said: Hello everyone, thank you for the replies, helps put things into perspective. I completely agree with what you said, I just didn't want to be embarrassed in front of the others but I shouldn't really... Yes... I definitely think that's what I should. For info, I'm 27 and she's 24 but I'm really infatuated with this girl and I don't want to see this opportunity wasted... Funny how all 3 of you agree to avoid texting and just ask her out the next time I see her. I do see your point though, there's definitely some trust already built in, I am normally a lot more forward with girls but I don't think I got a moment "alone" with her so that's why I thought going the texting route. But I really don't like doing the "small talk" stuff through text as well. From my experience ...I try to get her in a 1-1 conversation in order to also read her. Ihadproblems reading a woman if we were in a group conversation because it was hard to measure interest level. Link to post Share on other sites
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