Ellener Posted December 26, 2019 Share Posted December 26, 2019 https://www.verywellmind.com/common-questions-about-love-2795340 just came to my inbox, I'll unpick it in more detail later but this jumped out at me 'According to Sternberg, there are three essential elements of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. A relationship built on only one of these elements is generally considered weak, while one built on two or more elements is much more lasting.' Thinking about that... Link to post Share on other sites
Pleasant-Sage Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 (edited) It's an interesting read. Thanks for sharing. I would like to think that love (or the absence of it) plays a role in shaping us as individuals. That doesn't account for all the people who came from broken homes but still turn out to be good caring people. In regards to intimate relationships, maybe this science theory proves why marriages lasted longer in the past as compared to the present. Society seems to have altered the standard for love. Edited December 27, 2019 by Pleasant-Sage Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted December 27, 2019 Share Posted December 27, 2019 Yeah , sure has if internet and media is anything out there, divorce rate. These days it's standard seems to be attractiveness , me me me , and l deserve better. lt's deep, haha Whata surprise huh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted December 27, 2019 Author Share Posted December 27, 2019 Goodness, my sleep is all over the place this week! Can't stay awake after 8 pm and up at 3 or 4 am! My thoughts as I read are three things which modernity is lacking: people don't sit with discomfort well; it's too easy to lose the natural feel and rhythmn of life; and commitments aren't taken seriously. Discomfort: how many people struggle with image issues and avoiding at all costs embarrassment or 'doing the work' or delayed gratification. Natural life: I know for me if I can't get out in nature, eat simple foods and walk miles everything starts unravelling. I stop feeling human, let alone able to connect deeply to another human! Commitment: I actually have a problem the wrong way with this, I took my marriage vows so seriously I stayed way after time of death was called...it was not pretty. Some of my avoidance today is a reluctance to commit, make a mistake and find myself scrambling to force love which isn't there enough. I think there's a better balance, maybe 'bitter balance' is a truer statement...but it would be difficult for me to have a traditional 'marriage' now, with a ceremony and bits of paper. Hopefully I'll meet someone who feels the same way, looking for different expressions of affection, fidelity, security etc. It is a long-term, life-time commitment to say stuff like 'for better or worse, 'til death do us part' and it does tear people up inside to not be able to honour that self-expression. It's taken me years to get past that. And to be whole enough to wish my ex well too and forgive his part in our disaster! ( if we were 'Titanic' the ship should never have been built never mind sailed!!! ) Link to post Share on other sites
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