Trying to assess

[supersteelman]

After an 8 year relationship I moves back to the city. A year not together. 

I recently saw she had unblocked me on whatsapp. I was blocked for quite a long time. I wrote her a farewell letter. Weve been on and off so many times. Theres 1 critical thing between us that always brings us back together. She loves receiving my unconditional love. And I need to love and care for someone

 

Im not jumping the gun but What reasons would it be that all of sudden I can see her on whatsapp? I checked wvery every month and it was without any picture or online time

[supersteelman]

Damn😕

[Scarlett.O'hara]

It no longer bothers her.  

For your own sake, let her go.  You can't keep living in the past like this.  It isn't healthy.   

There is a much better match for you out there.

[supersteelman]

Thank you for the reply

I moved to live near her. I lived there for 4 years. I was living for a year there afyer we broke up not sure what to do. Ive since moved back to the city. Ive posted here quite a few times over the years and it always turned exactly the opposite of what people suggested but I do write here to get some insight and pov from others. To bounce ideas I may not have thought of. 

I have no shortage of options on okc and was out on dates multiple times since moving back. Weve broken up for months before. Im not pursuing her. I have my direction for now. Working 2 jobs. Focusing on getting my life back on track. It happened many times I try to get my life ina good direction and she will show up at my door out of the blue

 

Btw the only thing I can think of for her unlocking is she reset/erased/new phone her whatsapp account and didnt restore her backup info so her preferences arent there. She wouldnt unblock just because it didnt bother her anymore. 

 

[chillii]

l know what your thinking and your probably right.

She's saying it's ok now and she'd probably like to hear from you.

Because if she not 3 then she knows exactly how to block or unblock whomever she wants on whattsapp, and to also let be seen or not , whatever she wants to show ,whatever the gadget.

Edited January 5, 2020 by chillii

[supersteelman]

And my instincts were right. She sent me her daughters newborn picture.out of the blue. First time grandma. No message. And me being a guy that doesnt play games I replied right away(unlike her) and sent a positive message. Ithis is not the first tine shes contacted me out of the blue after a long time. I tried to make good conversation then asked her in the eve how was her day and she says i didnt contact you so we we would get back together. What a n ahole

 

What I thought though is that she maybe she had wanted to possibly check and see if something can be resurrected. I personally will say im willing but emotionally and mentally i would need patience from her. I moved back to the city from living near her recently and working my ass off trying to get my head above water as the first 2 months I had no work and fell short money wise so trying to catch up. Also a bit of baggage and animosity against her.

 

2 months before we finally parted it was her daughters wedding. At rhe wedding she introduced me to only 7 people in that wedding as her partner. But not the tons of family members. No one else. It really hurt me. 

A month after, her aunt had a 60yo birthday party and I offered as a gift to photograph the event. I'm a pro photog. Around 50 people there. Family only. Again instead of introducing me to her family to as many as possible, only 2 people. Again, so hurt. I was with her for 8 years. Wtf

 

Turns out her contacting me last week was not because she wanted to check/resurrect anything but felt she wanted to share with me the new birth because I was part of their lives for so long and she didnt want me to get offended if she posted on fb and I would see it online and not first get a message from her. 

 

Me trying to get over her I have a push pull feeling inside and i thought it was not fair for her to contact me if just to send a picture which would posssibly give me false hope. She did this before. I told her many time to not do that. It hurts to get contacted again when your intention is not to get back. Just dont do it. She said it was a sincere naive gesture and she didnt mean anything bad from it. Im trying hard. Either be with her which is no. But otoh she doesn't let me move on. she keeps poking me. Especially now when im emotionally a wreck. She did this before. Damn her to hell

 

Btw, i also assessed her to be a vulnerable narcissist. And I am an empath and why we are drawn to each other. If I had stability financial wise, a long time ago id be with someone. I have no money to date for the next 3 monthd. Id then have confidence and would tell her in her face im not interested and not to bother me again. Options are not rhe problem. On okc I get tons of messages from women. I just dont have money. My mom also had a heart attack recrntly. Im not so emotionally strong although I really miss companionship 

Edited January 12, 2020 by supersteelman

[JTSW]

I'm sorry about your mom supersteelman, hope she is recovering well. 

I think you need to block your ex on WhatsApp and all social media.

You will never move on if you don't. 

You are clinging on but there is nothing to cling to.

She will never get back with you.

it's time to close that chapter and move on.

[kendahke]

She unblocked you because she's taking your temperature--to see if you will step back into your role until some other guy comes along--and then you'll be blocked again.

Proceed at your own emotional peril. I wouldn't take the bait. I'd block her and really and sincerely move on with my life.