Galaticsoybean123 Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. He is doing a PhD while I am currently working and building my career. We overcome several obstacles in our relationship such as long distance and my parents not approving the interracial and interfaith relationship (they finally have gotten over it). We currently do not live with each other but we live about 30 mins apart. However...I am having these intense feelings of getting engaged! We talked about getting engaged and there was a little hint about marriage after he is done. But he will be done in 2 years and the thing is that we are both 28 years old. all my friends are already married and starting to have kids. How do I suppress this engagement fever? I feel like I am in a good relationship and I love him but I don't want to drive him crazy! I am having crazy thoughts myself of dumping him and finding another guy so I can get engaged. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 18 minutes ago, Galaticsoybean123 said: ... my parents not approving the interracial and interfaith relationship How much of an issue is this? People can choose to date others of a different race and faith, but when it comes to marriage it may be seen differently. Once the big guns come out, extended family and community get involved then marriage may not be on the cards. "love" is jettisoned in favour of tradition, culture, duty and honour... Why after 4 years are you not moving in together? I know you have talked about marriage but how serious was he about that? How religious are his family? Will getting married involved religious conversion? This may not apply to you, but many women get sucked into "serious" relationships with guys of a different faith when studying, to find themselves dumped when it is time for him to find a "real" bride. Be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Galaticsoybean123 Posted December 30, 2019 Author Share Posted December 30, 2019 My parents did not approve the relationship however they finally gotten over it. In terms of religion, my boyfriend and I are not religion and we discussed that we will never make each other convert. Our families are not religious however his mother and his aunts are kinda religious. His mother approves the relationship. We are not living together as he needs to live close to campus and if I live at his place my commute would be over an hour. We discussed about me changing my job location to be closer to him but he does not want me to jeordarize my good job. My boyfriend admitted that he thinks about marriage and engagement but isn't sure about the timeline. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted December 30, 2019 Share Posted December 30, 2019 Do you two talk about plans for the future together? As in, are you two envisioning forever together? Have you talked about children, have similar ideas regarding finances etc? After this much time it seems like marriage should be a natural discussion along with coming up with a plan for the future. Link to post Share on other sites
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