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how to meet redux


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New observation on the 'old problem' - how to meet a partner/companion/lover/spouse, in this case, for a 'more than just sex' relationship

Keep in mind that the prime criteria for me is that 'she' (I'm hetero male) is 'available' and is also looking for a relationship.

The stereotypical 'old way' is to cruise bars and 'pick her up'. Maybe I'm an outlier, but I've never been interested in the 'bar scene' ... not a drinker and uncomfortable with the noise and the crowdedness.

The '2.0 way' is OLD and speed dating. Been there, done that, had some success, but the success has not 'stuck' in spite of considerable investment of time (over two years now).

Another way is to leverage common interests. 'Meetups', which I take to mean meetup.com, is often suggested. While meetups bring together people with common interests, there's no reason to assume anyone is there seeking a relationship. And someone who does start 'hitting on' other members of the group risks very quickly being ostracized.

So, the aforementioned new observation. I'm a ballroom dancer. Through the mists of history (e.g. WWII movies) comes the idea that people would go to dances, at least in part, to seek out romance. That idea persists in today's social context. So I've recently added more dancing to my In Search Of tactics. Good news: fun for it's own sake and full of friendly people ... just like meetups. Bad news: no apparent seeking behavior from the ladies and the risk of crossing a line and appearing to be a 'predator' .... JUST LIKE MEETUPS :p

That's the observation. FWIW I plan to continue to 'keep swinging (baseball metaphor)' with OLD, meetups, and dances.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Definitely keep up with the dancing.  I think that could eventually pay off for you!

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