I don't know why I'm so Anxious

[Sharma2399]

Hello all, my first post here.

Bit of background to my situation, I've always had self esteem issues and confidence issues, i've been trying to work on it for the last while, recently I got into a relationship with an amazing girl, we were texing and dating for around 10 months until I asked her to be my (SO). To my delight she said yes, everything goes fine when we're together but we're totally different people in terms of, she loves to go out and party with her friends as where I would rather stay in and watch a movie, to not be a control freak, I don't mind her going out to parties and clubs with her friends but when she does I've this fear inside me that feels like shes going to go off with someone or do something behind my back when shes out, i've trust issues which doesnt help, she's not given me any reason to not trust her. Even when some other guy is mentioned i feel anxious and even with my best friend whom since we started dating has also become one of her good friends too i feel like they will run off together if left alone, ive always got this jelousy and fear in me that feels like someone is going to take her away from me and because of it at times i react in a way that i dont like and i dont want this to damage my relationship with her because i know its all me. any help would be appreciated.

[schlumpy]

You know. There are many women in this world that would love to stay home with you and share bag micro-wave popcorn and watch a good movie. I admit they may not be as amazing and wonderful as your current squeeze but they are compatible and may provide you with a worry free relationship. Why are you dating a party girl when you want exactly the opposite? Why are you setting yourself up for failure?

[elaine567]

54 minutes ago, schlumpy said:

Why are you setting yourself up for failure?

Exactly.
This relationship is unsustainable.
There is no way this is going to work.
You are insecure and anxious, not because you are crazy but  because there is just so much to be insecure and anxious about.
Set yourself free.
Find a nice girl who wants to stay home and watch a movie with you, instead of some party girl...
Next time leave the party girls  alone.

[JTSW]

I agree with elaine.

She sounds like a very nice girl, but i do'n' think she's the girl for you.

The more she goes out partying the more insecure about it you will become.

I too have anxiety, self esteem and trust issues so i know how hard it is.

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Women will test you by bringing up other men to see how you react. When she does this, she is attempting to check your masculinity level, because you have done something to make her think less of you than she did before OR she is talking to other men about you and these man stay calm and give her advice about how to deal with you, so then she comes to you and tells you about these men to see if you react in the same calm way these other men do, or if you freak out.

Masculinity tests are never good and are usually a sign that a more masculine man has her attention and she is now comparing you to him; there are many masculinity tests, bringing up other guys to gauge your reaction is one of the earlier ones, so if you didn't handle that well, she will ramp up her testing even more.

To avoid these tests all together, a lot of men will just outright try to fight any guy that talks to their woman, they will get in your face and try to show her that they are more masculine than the other guy... It does make the guy look bad and its embarrassing for her, but some women like that kind of attention and most of the time, you avoid the masculinity tests all together when you act this way.