nospam99 Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 Re: the height thing I read a LOT of women's profiles on Match.com. Yes, I ought to do a correlation analysis but I'm too lazy (at the moment). But I notice 'things', because at 5'8", even though I'm still getting about a 20% response rate to my unsolicited messages, that rate goes to <1% for women whose profiles says they're seeking 5'9" or above. Rather than women stating that they're seeking a few inches taller than they are, generally woman all the way down to 5'0" (very few women state heights below that) still say they're seeking 5'10" and up. The women whose profiles I read are 55 y/o and older. I have no idea about the seeking heights of younger women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy1234545 Posted January 3, 2020 Author Share Posted January 3, 2020 29 minutes ago, basil67 said: Only a foolish girl accepts FB friend requests from boys she doesn’t know. And why bother adding them if you’re not going to try to talk with them anyway? Idk just to have more girls added. no good reason i guess Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 So you’re bothered that you can’t do something which has no purpose anyway? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 I got dismissed out of hand on an online date once over not being tall enough (5"10), perhaps with taller women it is more difficult for shorter blokes, but I would not have thought it was a serious deal breaker but a slight disadvantage perhaps. I knew a chap who is 5" 2 and pretended he was 6" 6 on a dating website, his first date, they actually hit it off in person and are married now! this came up in conversation recently- "most women want a man who is brave enough to be their man"🤔 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 3, 2020 Share Posted January 3, 2020 53 minutes ago, Foxhall said: I knew a chap who is 5" 2 and pretended he was 6" 6 on a dating website, his first date, they actually hit it off in person and are married now! What!? Wow! She was forgiving! I think the height thing is way harder with OLD. I've had friends/husbands of friends who are short and I never even noticed it until someone said something about it. On the other hand, I don't notice the height of my son (over 6'1") or my daughter's boyfriend (6'4") unless someone points it out because they are KIDS. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 4 hours ago, Brennan72 said: Now I am lucky to be 6'1, but you have no idea what short guys go through when it comes to women. A co-worker of mine is smart, makes a six-figure income, and is in decent shape. But he is 5'8. He is also losing his hair. So he has given up on dating and marriage--it just isn't going to happen for this guy. I tried to set him up with a female friend of mine and the second question out of her mouth was "how tall is he". When I told her, she said "pass". Being 5'3" although not bald or balding, I have some idea of what short guys go through with women. In my experience I have been laid like tile, been pursued and asked to marry by plenty of attractive Western women who are shorter through taller than me. My ex-wife is 5'6", my wife is 5'7" and the tallest woman I have been with is circa 6'2", while the shortest is 5'2". Absent being socially inept, it's not hard to find enthusiastic female suitors even if one is short. I doubt height and looks are why your friend can't manage to get with women. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 19 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: I think the height thing is way harder with OLD. It may be although my not working, full-time uni student, 5'6" tall, 19 year old son, has had no trouble dating different attractive younger, same age and older women using on line dating apps. Although he really is an extremely handsome young man with a splendid face and a thin build, so that plays a role as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 While I have no doubt of the truth of your statement, 5x5, and I agree people should take heart from your example, I think there may be something else exceptional about you. Not sure what it is, confidence, looks, social skills, "personality", but from most of what I've read of your posts I suspect you're somewhere a few standard deviations out on the normal curve of male experience with women. Particularly for a 5'3" guy. How many of them have banged 6'2" women I don't know, but I suspect many would tell you it's rare indeed for them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 @mark clemson Sure except for being below average in height, I am not average either. Yet confidence and social skills do make a big difference. If short guys keep buying the idea that they have no chance because they are short, they're setting themselves up for failure. Of which it doesn't have to be that way. Of which the same failure can afflict taller men as well, which it doesn't have to be that way for them either. As to looks beauty is certainly fleeting especially as one ages, when I was a young man I was the pretty people. Yet I will be 49 this year and I am now fat and have been for a decade now and I have rosacea on my face which doesn't always make for a pretty picture. Yet despite that I still sometimes draw interest despite not looking for it. So having some level of confidence and acceptance of oneself combined with some social skills, one can do okay or even do well in the competitive sport of finding sexual partners. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 (edited) With men its less about how you look and more about how your body looks... Some women like bigger guys, others like skinny guys, but the body preference usually makes a big deal based on her tastes. And in reference to being tall, sure, women like taller dudes, but do you see any tall old guys walking around? Most men who are tall don't live past 50, especially if they are overweight and tall, definitely a lethal combination. Being short does have its advantages. Edited January 4, 2020 by CAPSLOCK BANDIT Addition Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 5 hours ago, guy1234545 said: Idk just to have more girls added. no good reason i guess Stop using facebook to meet people... people don’t accept friend requests from people they dint know. do you talk to women? Have you dated any? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 I’m little, like 5’4. I’ve had tall boyfriends and it was good, I mean you feel kind of protected or something in a way. Sort of. But it was so hard to reach up and have to kiss them or they would have to bend way down. It’s also hard to hug them because you’re just reaching around their waist and their head is wayyy up there. I always liked the guys that were only a little taller than me. That way we fit together like a glove. In everyyy way, know wha I sayin. I like those ones with the puffy dad bods. Man boobs turn me on. So squishy. Throw a cap on um and put um in a Chevy with a 454 in it. It’s on! Well ...I mean they had to let me drive it. (Plus I’m a really a Ford girl) Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, Brennan72 said: I’m 5’7 I actually prefer taller women because they’re usually more good looking, they remind me of beauty queens and more importantly, approachable to me. I’m just more confident with them. Part of it goes back to when I was 14-ish and these Ms. Universe pageant contestants all sat in front of me while we were watching a basketball game. I probably made some silly vow at 14 that I’m gonna marry a tall, beautiful woman, hah. So the last women I’ve attracted are 6’0 - 6’2, 5’8, 5,9. And there’s this woman at my gym who I’m guessing is 6’4, that’s gotta be my tallest so far. And you know those jockeys? their wives are way taller than them too. Now when it comes to online, I would still go after the tall women because you never know. You may barely be passing the physical attraction test but you’re still in play, and with time, personality, charm, and humor you will win her heart which is the easy part in all of this, because as any smart guy would tell you it’s keeping her heart which is the biggest challenge. Edit: I’m trying to get rid of the quote by another poster, could mods fix this, thank you. Edited January 4, 2020 by Interstellar Link to post Share on other sites
Thelambofdeth Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 I can say OP from my experience looks rarely matter. Unless you're really attractive or really ugly they're pretty moot. I have a friend who's 5'8, kinda fat with no fashion sense and women flock to him. He gives off a warm vibe, and happens to be aconfident and charming. So women just like him. Meanwhile I'm 6'3", decent looking, work out 4x a week, and wear literal Tom Ford suits. I've been single almost two years. I'm awkward, and have pretty heavy social anxiety and it totally turns people off... Basically be social and try to be social and out-going. Women seem to care more about that and it trumps most all other aspects. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy1234545 Posted January 4, 2020 Author Share Posted January 4, 2020 it just bothers me that others get accepted and i dont 12 hours ago, basil67 said: So you’re bothered that you can’t do something which has no purpose anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy1234545 Posted January 4, 2020 Author Share Posted January 4, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: do you talk to women? Have you dated any? In person I rarely do something.. Edited January 4, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 8 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: And in reference to being tall, sure, women like taller dudes, but do you see any tall old guys walking around? Most men who are tall don't live past 50, especially if they are overweight and tall, definitely a lethal combination. Being short does have its advantages. I see lots of tall old guys walking around, it's quite common where I live. Plus on my fathers side there are plenty of them since they're all tall (I have lots of 6'1 to 6'6" cousins), including my skinny father who is 6' tall and will be 71 this year. While his father who was a Police Superintendent, was also 6' tall. Likewise except for some pictures of him in World War II when he was a Signaller he has always been fat and he died at 83. Then there is one of my fathers grandfathers, he was 5'11" and although always skinny, he lived to 81 and even survived being gassed on the battlefield with the AIF in France during World War I. On and on etc. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 @guy1234545 being passive in person is not likely to see you get what you want. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 17 hours ago, Piddy said: The common denominator is confidence. Women are attracted to confidence. There's tons of YouTube videos showing this in action. A guy just walks up to a girl and introduces himself, makes a complementary remark about their looks and asks for her number. It's amazing to see and all these guys aren't 9's and 10's either. Confidence will get you in the door for sure. I don't like confident men (and people in general). I would prefer them to be down to earth, maybe even shy, even though they could be the smartest and prettiest men in the world. Confidence smells arrogance to me which is a huge no no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 1 minute ago, SummerDreams said: I don't like confident men (and people in general). I would prefer them to be down to earth, maybe even shy, even though they could be the smartest and prettiest men in the world. Confidence smells arrogance to me which is a huge no no. Yup, everyone is different. I was shy in my dating days and only had confidence to ask a girl to dance when I had a little Dutch courage in me. 😉 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 16 hours ago, Mrin said: 2. The Height Thing: There is definitely a correlation between height and beauty when it comes to men - I won't deny that. However, I think assigning an arbitrary number like 5'10" or 6' doesn't really work as a threshold (e.g. you're screwed if you're below it). There is, however, a real threshold in my experience, it just varies from woman to woman. However, it is really easy to figure out. Most women want a guy who is taller than them. There are a lot of varying reasons for this but the one that sums it up the best is what one of my best female friends said, "I want to feel petite and I can't feel that way if I am taller than my guy". Now, how much taller does the guy have to be? That also varies but usually it is about +2 inches. Why two inches? So she isn't taller than him when she wears a shoe with a heel. "Women" tend not to want to be bigger than their man and that is not just about height. He may be taller but if he is "weedy" and she feels her body size is bigger than his she will not usually like that. Also attractiveness is about proportion and balance. Well proportioned people tend to look good whatever their height. Also good body posture and fluid movement can elevate a person from being seen as ordinary to something special. At the end of the day, many people have all sorts of thresholds regarding potential partners, but they often mean nothing when they meet someone they really like and want to be with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkFlamingo Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 17 hours ago, Mrin said: Just going to chime in here on a few things: 1. Visions of Beauty: Someone above basically said that women have a stereotypical vision of male beauty in the US while males have a much wider version of female beauty. While certain stereotypes exists, in my experience and in talking with a lot of female friends, it is usually the opposite. I've found women to be all over the books in terms of what they find as attractive. Facial hair, features, body size and shape. Whereas men usually have a more narrow vision of female beauty. 2. The Height Thing: There is definitely a correlation between height and beauty when it comes to men - I won't deny that. However, I think assigning an arbitrary number like 5'10" or 6' doesn't really work as a threshold (e.g. you're screwed if you're below it). There is, however, a real threshold in my experience, it just varies from woman to woman. However, it is really easy to figure out. Most women want a guy who is taller than them. There are a lot of varying reasons for this but the one that sums it up the best is what one of my best female friends said, "I want to feel petite and I can't feel that way if I am taller than my guy". Now, how much taller does the guy have to be? That also varies but usually it is about +2 inches. Why two inches? So she isn't taller than him when she wears a shoe with a heel. 3. OP's Facebook Thing: Dude, don't use whether a woman accepting your friend request on FB as a measure of your overall desirability. FB is social media. Social media is shallow. Honestly, unless you already share a bunch of common friends, randomly friending a woman on FB is creeper territory anyhow. And ya, if a woman gets a friend request from a strange guy, she's probably more likely to accept it if he's her type and has a good headshot. He has to overcome her "creeper" defenses and really the only way to do that is a great profile pic. 4. Confidence and other intangibles: Other folks have mentioned it but confidence plays a massive role. In fact, it is probably a universal constant in terms of attractiveness. Confidence is attractive. Some women are also sapiosexuals - and drawn like a moth to a flame for intelligence. Others it is humor - if you can make them laugh and smile, you'll win their hearts. And others look for stuff like heart centered men or creative types. But confidence is always attractive. Best of luck! Mrin Regarding the beauty ideal, in this article they analyzed the facial features of the male and female characters in Disney and Pixar films: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/news/a34090/disney-women-same-faces/ Conclusion: "TL;DR: Boys in animated movies have faces that are square, round, skinny, fat, alien-looking, handsome, and ugly. The only face that girls get to have is some round snub-nosed baby face." Regarding height: I had a date the other day with a guy who was quite tall and muscular. I thought I was into tall now (unlike when I was younger), but somehow, I felt like a dwarf with him towering over me. He had to hunch over to hug me and when he was standing close to me my view consisted mostly of his chest. Putting your arms around someone who is much taller than you is definitely not as easy as with someone who is a bit taller. By the way, I HATE the term sapiosexual. It's a preposterous nonsense. Unless someone is also into intelligent aliens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 (edited) I am 5'6 and have had no problems dating all my life. Hot, athletic, intelligent, very confident, sensual, financially and emotionally (for the most part) sound. And that's just me! No, the type of women I have date and date. Taller, shorter, same height, lawyers, doctors, dental hygienists, "self-employed", unemployed ...all kinds. All to say...who knows? Perhaps your pics don't illustrate a man who looks confident? Who knows... Edited January 4, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020 Link to post Share on other sites
Envy123 Posted January 4, 2020 Share Posted January 4, 2020 20 hours ago, 5x5 said: @mark clemson Yet I will be 49 this year and I am now fat and have been for a decade now and I have rosacea on my face which doesn't always make for a pretty picture. Yet despite that I still sometimes draw interest despite not looking for it. So having some level of confidence and acceptance of oneself combined with some social skills, one can do okay or even do well in the competitive sport of finding sexual partners. Agree completely. Obesity is normally touted as a dealbreaker, but I still have romantic relationships even though I'm seriously out of shape. Confidence and non-neediness from my experience is usually the deciding factor on whether I have success in dating, not my body shape. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guy1234545 Posted January 4, 2020 Author Share Posted January 4, 2020 1 hour ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I am 5'6 and have had no problems dating all my life. Hot, athletic, intelligent, very confident, sensual, financially and emotionally (for the most part) sound. And that's just me! No, the type of women I have date and date. Taller, shorter, same height, lawyers, doctors, dental hygienists, "self-employed", unemployed ...all kinds. All to say...who knows? Perhaps your pics don't illustrate a man who looks confident? Who knows... well good for you. maybe a little overconfident. so you have the looks? and if someone doesnt have them? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts