I Want back her, my EX, explain situation

[Kerby]

Hello all. I want advice, we break up in October. There was lot of small reason why, but biggest was distance I live in London she in Berlin, we had distance relationship, in summer 4,-4.5 month we was together all time. That in general. We was together 2,5 years. First year we was together all time. Then she was moved to Berlin study. Then we have distance and there start problems, for small thing. In October we decide break up, I sad so many bad things. That wasn’t so nice. 

 

After time I understand she is my only what I want. I’m not interested other women’s. I’m thinking of her, and it’s sad. We meet near to Xmas time and we speak. I sad I miss her (maybe that was promblem.) and love. I want back her. And I’m so sorry. I was lost. 

 

She sad to me I really hurt her what I did and sad to her. She don’t want see me because she have really hard to be near to me emotional, if she stay longer she will cry. Inside she have really pain and that can’t change right now. She want but it’s not possible. Maybe time will help. 

 

That short story of my ex relationship. 

 

It’s possible to get back her? I contact her. Sometimes we speak. But she always say. It’s really hurt to speak with me, but she speaks. Sometime she is cool. Sometimes she is really cold. 

 

Maybe who have experience like that. Can explain from women side? I need give her time and no contact at all? Because we still something contact per week or two . Usually it’s me, ask how is going. Or others advice 

 

[alterest]

Yes, it's possible like it's possible to be hit by an asteroid, win lottery or even found your dopplegang in a market. The chance to this happens will change, but the possibility is always there.

The real point is not get her back, it is focusing your whole attention to this. Do you love her? Fine, mostthat are in here love their exes. I do love mine and want to be with her. But we aren't with them and you must put in your head that you will never be with her again. Why? Because you won't move on until you do that.

She is in hurt and she does understand her feelings and you need to do same with you. But that is for you. Whe decided for BU? You can't do much right now, but enter in NC. It's seems that you both broke up for minor reasons, so tell her that you need your space, but that you love her and still want to work on your issues to be with her. Then leave her alone and start to heal yourself. The cenario that you have right now is "you both broke up and you will never be with her again". Ellaborate plans or anything have no success.

[Kerby]

Thanks for advice. I know she was really love me. Maybe still. But I don’t understand, how fast love can disappear. That’s sad. It’s hard to move on. I want text her. But better is stay calm. Because only who is texting is myself. She is not texting. First time I feel like. I don’t know what to do to my life. She was everything.. and no other women’s Not interested. I just think about her. 
 

[JTSW]

In my opinion, long distance relationships seldom work.

It eventually gets harder and more frustrating to be apart.

What's the point in being in a relationship when you can't be together.

What did you say that hurt her so badly? 

I agree with alterest that you should go NC. 

If she wants to continue your relationship she will let you know.

[Kerby]

JTSW thanks for advice.

 

yes, I know it’s really hard about long distance relationship.. try that understand.. u need move or it’s impossible.. but u know. If u true love , it’s hard past emotion, I think I need get in love with other women.. or just try forget. I try just 3-4 month.. but I can’t get out from my feeling that women, never know that will be so hard.

Usually summer is when we was together like 4-5 months then she gets back to study  , but we quarreling for lot of things, at wasn’t so good summer. I act different and was lost. I was think we need take a break up for time. When she left, she wrote me paper, she want be together and our love is more power than anything. That was so nice. Then I was visit her for couple day. We was different, something was from. And I was act like dissatisfied, we all time quarreling, and all was so much. I don’t know what happen to me, but I say to her why I’m waisting time, because we are not together in life but in paper.. all time you are not close to me. That sad.. and I don’t want be together. Something like that. I know that is really bad things what I sad. I apologize, to her. But she told me. I hurt her like nobody. 
 

In Xmas time she was back home. Was take all clothes out from my house. I was say, I really love, and want back her. (Maybe I was not right to tell). But she told, she can’t do right now. She want be free and need time. She is really hurt from my side and I don’t understand how hard she is hurt. 
 

In NY she was text me very sweet text. Thanks for all things. 
 

then she left again to study. I was text her, but she always forget answer back. Or was really cold. Something like that. 
 

Now I think , it’s correct, I will do NC , it’s really hard. Because I’m checking social media , where she is. I don’t know why.. but I try my best and don’t NC, because she know my all feelings, she know I want back her, and she knows I still love and what change all. I explain that situation lot of time her. Why that happen, and why I was such a idiot and lost my mind. But in general I understand , that was because , I always wanted her next to me. Not distance. 
 

something like that. I hope u understand something. 
And thanks. 

[JTSW]

Hi Kerby,

It worked when you were together.

But it's not working for either of you at a distance.

Its hard, of course, but you need to ask yourself if you can live like that.

[Kerby]

JTSW 

yes i know the biggest problem is distance, if wasn’t , we was together still now. I know that for 100%. Because she don’t see me, she have better. 
I just think, how kill my feeling. And I know I will see her only after 5month. When she will be back.

but I will do NC right now. In 3 February she have birthday. I will send some flowers and it’s all. NC. If she is happy without me. Then ok. I hope I will get up. Because time is going but I don’t know in general what to do in my life. Because all what I wanted is make a family with her. 

[JTSW]

It'll be hard to have a family in a long distance relationship. 

One of you would have to make the sacrifice and move and it doesn't sound like either of you are willing to do that.

I think its time to move on.

[SailorD]

I know your were kind of on talking terms but I would not send flowers, I have been in a long distance relationship my self, but NC is the best way it’s difficult let me tell you but gets easier.  
 

IT shows you respect her space, Don’t let the relationship rule you but now you just need to focus on  making your self happy again. Find a friend that you can vent to that really helps

 I was in a similar situation to your self,  I was in Germany and she was in essex, but it was still LD when I moved back to the U.K but after you have given her space and are truly happy in your self it could work if she is will look up Law of attraction, but you do look at reconciliation you have to have a plan in order to close that distance or it will just end up right where you began. 
 

If it’s truly meant to be and you feel this strongly maybe bows  just not the right time. 
 

Focus on your self and make your self happy first not someone else and everything else will follow, look up  I promise  hope this helps .

[Kerby]

Thank you guys for advice and helping move.

i wil try my best. Today I saw, she delete us videos, what we know and was private in YouTube. I’m feel like stalker, how I can let it go and don’t watch her social media? I don’t know why I do. 
because I now know. She is not interested to me any more. 
 

problem is, I have no friend here, all is in different country with Family and no contact. That more harder I’m alone. But that will be good experience, because she always sad to me. Don’t left me. I want be forever with you. And I’m all what she want. But now it’s like. I’m nobody.. I can’t understand women’s.. how can that be. 

[Kerby]

And yes.. better I will not send flowers. Just will text, happy birthday. And all. 
And we both  still follow each other in social media

Edited January 8, 2020 by Kerby
More info