welphereiam Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 About 2 years ago I met a girl through a friend of mine. I didn't know anything about her at the time but we got along great and there seemed to be some sort of attraction there, but found out later that night she was married with two kids. So nothing I could do there, It was just one of those things where it's kind of a bummer because of how you got along. Over the last two years we have gotten to know each other a little bit through text. Nothing flirtatious or out of line because she is married and I want to respect that. We mostly just talk about movies and how we like horror movies. About 2 weeks ago I texted her to say happy holidays and we texted a little bit back and forth, she asked about my dating life, and I made some sort of joke about how she's lucky she doesn't have to date these days because it's difficult. She then texted me back saying that she hasn't told many people but she's been separated from her husband for just over four months and they were getting a divorce. She said that it was her choice and something had happened in their relationship that changed the way that she thought about their marriage. It sounds like there was some sort of alcohol related events that have happened with her husband. She said that she is very numb right now but she's working your way through it. I know that this is not something I can make a relationship of now but maybe something in the future. I understand she needs space, and will give her space and go on with my life. I will not be floating those ideas of a date or anything yet . But I don't want to get friend zoned. After she told me I said I was sorry and that if she needed a friend I am there for her. Anyone have advice on how to handle this? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Question - what do you want? 1. If you want to have some fantastic sex fling then move in on that. Just be sure to keep it purely sexual. Recent divorcees of both genders will go through a death by sex phase. 2. If you want a relationship she will need a year before she's relationship ready at a minimum. It is tough to stick around as the friend because there will be a number of flings (see item #1) she has to work out of her system first. It is messy. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Actually , her asking about your date life was fishing . Women are famous for monkey branching onto someone out of their marriage and rarely leave without it. 4mths , l 'd steer well well clear of her if l was you let her latch onto some other sucker. Especially that she's hinting already only shows she's looking already no less , for someone else. And l'd also like to know what that something really was find out what she's really made of too if it was me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 It is not wise to pursue anything with this woman. You will just be a rebound to her, a distraction during a very tough time in her life. You did the right thing by offering to be there for her as a friend because i think she was fishing to see if you would be up for a fling. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Take it slow, be there for her. That is really all you can do. You need to be good with being just her friend first, such that if the day comes and she says no to more you are good with that and the friendship continues. Easy to do? Heck no. Now, I'm not one opposed to being a fling...one can still be her fling and her friend per the course of actin above. Again not easy or necessarily what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
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