d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Just now, CautiouslyOptimistic said: I enjoy watching some sports, but I would never go to a sports bar alone. I've done it but only because I am a rabid fan & sometimes I had nobody to go with. Granted I showed up decked out in a jersey & it was obvious I was there for the game so I was very quickly treated like one of the guys, minus the chest bumps. DH & I traveled across the country to see my team play his step brother's team. I was in full on fan mode with face paint & everything. It freaked my ILs out that as the visiting team -- minority -- I garnered so much attention. DH was fine because he was used to it & knew it was all about the football. 🏈 Hopeful30 -- if you are not a fan & you decide to try the sports bar route, I suggest you show up for the Super Bowl & talk to the guy who is there for the food. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 6, 2020 Author Share Posted January 6, 2020 Football? Yes I am familiar. American football? Not a clue. American football is not popular here in Toronto. Mostly hockey, basketball and UFC (I'm down to watch fit and sweaty dudes all over each other ) I personally don't mind if a man is seriously into sports. It's healthy to have hobbies and be part of a community. It's a great compliment to a girl's night out, too! He watches the game with his buddies, I have fun with the girls! I suppose I could order a drink at the bar and watch the game. Is it unattractive if a woman watches a game unenthused? Of course, it's better when a woman enjoys the sport ...but if she does not, is this off-putting? I imagine that a man is more likely to approach a girl who is enjoying the game (more to discuss with her) than one who is simply watching indifferently... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 I still don't understand why WOMEN don't have success meeting men with OLD. Haven't a bunch of you LS ladies (d0nni excepted of course, I know her story of OLD failure) posted that you got more OLD messages than you could possibly meet. Plus women can always (horrors!) also 'make the first move' by contacting men whose profiles seem to be 'catches'. Granted it takes work to separate the wheat from the chaff. But is it really that rare to 'score' (not necessarily a ONS score but a relationship score)? Also I'm thinking one of the OLD web sites, not a phone app - as near as I can tell Bumble and Tinder (in the US) have high hookup to relationship ratios. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Hopeful30 You are in or at least near a big city & there are universities near you. Do an internet search for stuff to do. Something will pop up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 6, 2020 Author Share Posted January 6, 2020 24 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Hopeful30 -- if you are not a fan & you decide to try the sports bar route, I suggest you show up for the Super Bowl & talk to the guy who is there for the food. 🤣🤣 this is great!! I can absolutely get on board with a man who shows up only for the food 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Do the types of activities that you love and also that you could tolerate. There are plenty of men out there who don't just go to bars. But yes that does make them hard to find. Get a dog and go to the dog park or just walk the dog around your neighborhood on a regular basis can you will meet lots of guys walking their dogs and the dogs are a conversation starter. in fact I just cornered a guy who had a puppy about an hour ago who was walking by my house as I was unloading groceries. Granted I was more interested in the puppy than in him, but that's how easy it is. If you like any sports, maybe the less rowdy ones that aren't known for a lot of drinking and yelling, something like golf or tennis, kayaking, bowling, skating, be active. Go to book stores and used book stores. Go to community meetings and neighborhood meetings. Go to police fundraisers or political fundraisers or volunteer for those. Just keep thinking of ways. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Hopeful30 said: I wouldn't mind reading but this is not appropriate at a bar lol I've often read in bars. Then, I once took a nap in a nightclub...I was just so tired and my friend didn't want to leave! Nobody seems to mind me reading in bars, and I don't drink alcohol there, Perrier or coffee. I've never thought about meeting new men that way, I'm going to try it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 I only skimmed replies, but if meetups were not yet mentioned, you could try those as well. Some will be better than others, depending on the purpose and "vibe" of the participants. If you're alone in, say, a high end bar you don't have to smile constantly. Just smile (and briefly make eye contact perhaps) directly at guys who suit your fancy. Experienced men who aren't shy tend to read that smile as an invite to at least converse. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 (edited) 48 minutes ago, preraph said: If you like any sports, maybe the less rowdy ones that aren't known for a lot of drinking and yelling, something like golf or tennis, kayaking, bowling, skating, be activ Remember, this is Canada we're talking about here, Preraph! ( 🤣 <--- for humor-impaired readers) Edited January 6, 2020 by mark clemson typo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 6, 2020 Author Share Posted January 6, 2020 44 minutes ago, preraph said: Do the types of activities that you love and also that you could tolerate. There are plenty of men out there who don't just go to bars. But yes that does make them hard to find. Get a dog and go to the dog park or just walk the dog around your neighborhood on a regular basis can you will meet lots of guys walking their dogs and the dogs are a conversation starter. in fact I just cornered a guy who had a puppy about an hour ago who was walking by my house as I was unloading groceries. Granted I was more interested in the puppy than in him, but that's how easy it is. If you like any sports, maybe the less rowdy ones that aren't known for a lot of drinking and yelling, something like golf or tennis, kayaking, bowling, skating, be active. Go to book stores and used book stores. Go to community meetings and neighborhood meetings. Go to police fundraisers or political fundraisers or volunteer for those. Just keep thinking of ways. Am I unreasonable for feeling frustrated that I need to put so much effort into meeting men? It should be simple they are everywhere! I love dogs from the soul, but they're expensive and I'm not home enough. I already know all the dogs in my building by name 🤣 they love me too! Owners are in relationships though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 6, 2020 Author Share Posted January 6, 2020 5 minutes ago, mark clemson said: If you're alone in, say, a high end bar you don't have to smile constantly. Just smile (and briefly make eye contact perhaps) directly at guys who suit your fancy. Experienced men who aren't shy tend to read that smile as an invite to at least converse. You're absolutely right! An experienced man will understand the invitation, and I don't mind a man with experience 😊 *sigh* What's an old-fashioned mademoiselle to do? Apparently being a woman is no longer enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 Everything in life that is worth doing takes effort. In my late 30s when I found myself unattached for the longest spell in my life & I decided I wanted to get serious about meeting somebody I put in the effort. I made a vow to go out at least once per week with that goal in mind. Yes it was an effort but it paid off. Since you like dogs, volunteer at a shelter & walk the dogs. You will still get the benefit of having people talk to you about the dog especially if it's wearing one of those adopt me vests. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 @mark clemson. Eh, Hoser? Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 As a 38 year-old single guy - I'd have to say - just live life! And look/act single everywhere you go. Don't make it life and energy absorbing to the point where you become or at least come off as cray-cray. But you can find someone doing the things you love, trying the things you want to try, and occassionally stepping out of your comfort zone. And don't let yourself or other people tell you otherwise - not everyone who goes to a bar likes to drink, drink heavily, etc. I may only go a few times a year, but when I go I have fun and anyone would think I'm a regular, but I'm not. Overall - I think it's about the vibe you give off and also taking the time to notice things - like guys who don't have wedding rings on, etc. And try some online dating too, some speed dating, etc - just try. And don't take this as a "oh - he has all of the answers" tone of voice. I'm 38 and single have had make bad choices in dating in the past - so I'm speaking from hard learned experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 We're just off to the dog park now, it's a good place for chatting in general! I was thinking about meeting places, I think so often it can be a 'goldfish bowl' environment where people are just too self-conscious or don't want to come across wrong or something. I mean if a man sauntered over to ask for my number in front of all his buddies I'd assume he was over-confident...! I wish we could all be a lot more direct though, it's always such a fine line, I'm sure it wasn't this difficult years ago? 😣 Which reminds me of a British 80's joke: 'get your coat, you're pulled!' ( picked up/asked out ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Ellener said: We're just off to the dog park now, it's a good place for chatting in general! I was thinking about meeting places, I think so often it can be a 'goldfish bowl' environment where people are just too self-conscious or don't want to come across wrong or something. I mean if a man sauntered over to ask for my number in front of all his buddies I'd assume he was over-confident...! I wish we could all be a lot more direct though, it's always such a fine line, I'm sure it wasn't this difficult years ago? 😣 Which reminds me of a British 80's joke: 'get your coat, you're pulled!' ( picked up/asked out ) The reason I feel this way is because when they cold approach you know it’s just based on looks and they probably do it quite often. Life is not a lifetime movie. They just think you’re hot or at least hot enough because they know nothing else about you. But really, isn’t that what all dating is with the at the end of the day. I guess so. Sucks though Edited January 6, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Hopeful30 said: Am I unreasonable for feeling frustrated that I need to put so much effort into meeting men? It should be simple they are everywhere. I'm going to tell you what I tell all the guys on here who complain about the same thing. You have to get out of the house and do things to meet people. No one is just going to drop down from the heavens and show up at your door. It's not like a porn video or fairytale. First of all you have to have interests and active activities for anyone to get interested in you. You have to be interesting to get someone interested, and that means you have to be able to go do things and pursue activities and interests outside of your room. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 4 hours ago, d0nnivain said: You "look single" by having open body language, angle your shoulder toward the bar sitting outward; making eye contact & smiling. ^^^this Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, stillafool said: All types of men love sports, especially football. #notallmen I know plenty of guys who don't care about sport. Edited January 6, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted January 6, 2020 Share Posted January 6, 2020 You seem an approachable girl anyway, this can be the problem, a lot of single guys are too shy to make that initial approach, so they miss out on the chance to get to know a nice girl like you, If they realised there are plenty of single girls out there who want to be chatted and so on, it would result in more match ups. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Foxhall a lot of single guys are engaged and getting married every weekend so they must be approaching someone. OP don't let that deter you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: #notallmen I know plenty of guys who don't care about sport. Okay just the ones I know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 Gun range? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, stillafool said: All types of men love sports, especially football. OP, do you know anything about football? If you don't drink alcohol order a ginger ale. Football, American football? Good if you are American. 6 hours ago, Hopeful30 said: It is an online program, so students are from several provinces and there aren't any physical events. Business meetings are a great idea! "Hello, what is your business?" "I am currently in the market for an eligible male for a long-term, satisfying relationship! Do you have a card?" lol I'm teasing plenty of men at business meetings, I wonder what's a discreet way of learning about their romantic availability without asking directly From another thread, a poster suggested something along the lines of: "Your girlfriend/wife has good taste. What a great suit!" Maybe a hockey game? Maybe a hockey game or practice at the local rink? Or if you skate go to the free skating at the local rink. Get out to where the guys are, it does not need to be a bar or pub. If it's outside and cold it will be a little hard to dress to impress and keep warm. Check the local paper for events. Offseason shows like camping or auto shows? Winter carnivals etc.? Edited January 7, 2020 by Caauug One to many lines Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 7, 2020 Share Posted January 7, 2020 You might try the public library. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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