Struggling

[preraph]

If it's deposit only, no, but in your post, you said "bank details," so you don't want him to have your password or your debit card or anything like that.  I mean, he can go to the bank and deposit it with a deposit slip, but it's mostly done online now.  If you have to give him your password and stuff to deposit it via phone camera, he can likely see your balance.  Just do Paypal.  Now, Chase bank and some others (works only if you're both on Chase) have a type of quick pay called Zelle, I believe that is on the bank apps that all he'd need is your email address and all you'd need is his and all he'd have to do is use his OWN logon to go on Chase and then do a transfer from his email to your email.  That's how I mainly do mine.  

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Ellener said:

There's not a whole lot in my checking account. Can people do that? See your balance? I did have a bank clerk tell me if I set up a direct deposit for a customer they could take money out as well as put it in so I didn't set it up.

No, people can't see the balance unless you give them the PIN for your card.   

I think you mean 'direct debit' rather than 'direct deposit'.   Yes, a direct debit authorises a person or entity to take money from your account on a regular basis.  But they can only withdraw an amount which has been agreed to by you.   If they take anything else, it's fraud and your bank will fix it for you.

[Ellener]

A realtor called today, she's someone I walk my dog with sometimes, and she's going to help me get a new home! She already knows I have anxiety disorder and I think we'll be a good fit.

I'll put together a time-line to keep me focussed.

Next to decide what direction my career should go. I've never cared much about money always prioritising happiness and fulfillment, now hoping I can marry up all those things and have a place of my own to enjoy again. God-willing and the creek don't rise! as they say here...

It's a bit scary but also exciting.

 

 

[LivingWaterPlease]

Ellener, I'm so glad to hear you're looking into getting your own place. From all you've written about sharing quarters with the meanies I can understand how that would contribute to your anxiety. 

Are you familiar with the Valerian herb? Valium is made from it; however Valerian Root is non addictive. I take Valerian Root Powder when I'm having trouble sleeping and it chills me right out, just as a Valium pill would. There's also an herb called Passion Flower which does about the same thing. I use both to help me sleep once in a while.  They're as effective as a benzo and they work with your body, not against it as meds do.  

I also take a liquid D3/K supplement and methylated B vitamins, which help tremendously.  I exercise daily, too, by walking outdoors for an hour rain or shine, snow or sun. Fortunately, I have a schedule that permits me to get as much sleep as I need, too.  

And last, but most important, I read my Bible and pray each day to maintain my relationship with God. If I miss doing that I can tell a huge difference in how I feel. 

From what you're writing it seems your son is doing well and you have a good relationship with him. So glad to read this!

[Ellener]

3 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

Ellener, I'm so glad to hear you're looking into getting your own place. From all you've written about sharing quarters with the meanies I can understand how that would contribute to your anxiety. 

Are you familiar with the Valerian herb? Valium is made from it; however Valerian Root is non addictive. I take Valerian Root Powder when I'm having trouble sleeping and it chills me right out, just as a Valium pill would. There's also an herb called Passion Flower which does about the same thing. I use both to help me sleep once in a while.  They're as effective as a benzo and they work with your body, not against it as meds do.  

I also take a liquid D3/K supplement and methylated B vitamins, which help tremendously.  I exercise daily, too, by walking outdoors for an hour rain or shine, snow or sun. Fortunately, I have a schedule that permits me to get as much sleep as I need, too.  

And last, but most important, I read my Bible and pray each day to maintain my relationship with God. If I miss doing that I can tell a huge difference in how I feel. 

From what you're writing it seems your son is doing well and you have a good relationship with him. So glad to read this!

Thank you, yes, I will look at Valerian again soon. I have been dealing with so many physical symptoms and using supplements here there and everywhere, my bedside table is covered.

I don't do well with the 'mean girl' mentality, I didn't accept it in my mental space in high school and I'm not accepting it now! But also I know- people are where they're at, and they don't always mean to be unkind or even know they are. 

My son is a good man, he's overcome difficulties which often trap people for decades. He doesn't have a spiritual side so much yet, funny I picked up a birthday card for him today which is overtly religious based on his Christian name meaning ( 'gift from God' ) I know he'll wince a little at the word 'Lord' on the front but I did raise him not to buy into patriarchy...he'll work it out.

A dear friend prays with me regularly, I joke that Maya Angelou will be waiting for her one day, she's so fluent and passionate in her religion and never judges anyone- which is rare. I worked for her in one of the historic black churches is how we met and psalm 139 was on the pulpit when she showed me around. When I had everyone singing later it was all so beautiful, I also picked a four leaf clover as I got out of my car which I pressed and sent her later! 

Passion Flower I am not familiar with, will look into it.

 

 

[Ellener]

I got myself to the dentist, my goodness it's expensive though, $2600 if I do the work she recommends, half that if I don't replace a crown. It's called 'deep cleaning', below the gums, anyway she'll write me a Valium prescription and my friend will drive me that day. They were really super attentive to my anxiety disorder so I will give them the business, they went above and beyond!

[Ellener]

I'm really struggling with insomnia, I can't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep.

Bought a weighted blanket today, see if that helps.

[Ellener]

I did sleep some, at least four hours, the weighted blanket maybe helped but I did loads of exercise and time outdoors too, and drank lavender tea at bedtime.

Awake early but calm, sometimes it's the other people in the house wake me too. 

Read more about the dental procedure, it's a little bit more involved than I realised, separates the gum line for a few weeks and may bleed, not the best for a diabetic. So I'll check my blood sugar again first. Have to reschedule as I have a big party next day, Valentine's, and I can't perform if my mouth is swollen or bleeding. Feels like a lot going on with me, but if I stick to my daily holistic routine I'll cope. 

Friends looking for a new home for me, hopefully the perfect place will show up soon. I do like the arrangement of no responsibility for the property, if a storm comes. 

I need to do a bit of training to set up a new business income stream, I'll schedule that next month. 

I'll start a new thread soon about adult children and finances, I'm hearing the same thing from numerous colleagues and friends that their children are draining financial resources with either education/healthcare needs, or just general financial immaturity/irresponsibility. 

 

 

[Ruby Slippers]

I was going through some hard stuff about a year ago. I made a list of things I can do to feel better and I keep it on my phone where I can review it anytime. They range from small things to big. Examples:

• Sleep plenty
• Listen to uplifting music
•  Write what I'm thankful for
• Take walks
• Drink water
• Listen to and encourage others
• Compliment others
• Treat myself well
• Eat light

[SumGuy]

I find Bob Ross hypnotically soothing when need to sleep...and subliminally I'm learning to paint.

[Ellener]

My insomnia tonight is more excitement than anything else- my son and I had a lovely dinner and he gave me his graduation date in May! I have registered for a college course I need to start my new business. And I'm a bit excited to go meet a new man tomorrow, we got on well on our phone call and it was interesting until recently he lived by our favourite park, walked there all the time as do we!

I've made my living quarters super-pleasant whilst I wait for a new living situation a little after my son's graduation. 

Anxiety is back under control, just have to stick to my holistic routine. 

Thanks everybody for your support through this 'blip'!

[Ellener]

I just re-read this thread, it was like a little journal of my 'blip'...one thing I did notice is how long it felt compared to how many days it actually was. 

Anyway in just a few weeks I'm better and I've found a new place to live and in the process of moving.

Started dating a new man, told him I'll be busy with moving for next few days, he offered to help but it's not how I want to spend time with him, we're going to get together again soon and cook.

I'm not seeing my counsellor again whilst he's working with that office ( he expects to be changing offices soon, he had mentioned I can look him up on a psychologist website to find out where; this office is dysfunctional, rude receptionists, miscommunications and screwed up appointments, it stresses me just dealing with them! ) so I'm being super-careful with holistic self-care, moving can be exhausting and stressful.

Coping ok again 😅