thefooloftheyear Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 14 minutes ago, mark clemson said: And remember folks, despite what magazines and such appear to be telling you, many men just don't mind chubby that much... Shhh!!! C'mon man....You are ruining it for the rest of us out here..😄 All kidding aside... I do think the constant onslaught of ridiculously hot bodied women just floating around on the net may be clouding a lot of men's reality...I cant speak for all guys and I don't know how they connect or target market these things together, but I cant spend 5 minutes on the net without some super hot woman's tits or ass in my face..If its not the sexy photos trying to direct you to the Asian or Russian "date" sites(on LS as well-curious if the ladies see it?)..Then you have all these other images just constantly being fed to you....Bear in mind, while I will admit to taking a look now and then I've never liked, subscribed, or even searched it....Its finding its way....somehow...It also may be because friends are always sending this crap around and they accumulate target audience? TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 One of the most important points to bear in mind is that the women in those pictures don't look like that either - but that doesn't stop men from expecting an airbrushed reality. Lots of the younger guys in particular these days won't direct any attention toward a woman who does not present to him that "centerfold-ready" appearance. I remember the first time my husband got me naked. I was so terrified of how he would size me up. I was in great shape at the time, but I have a legit genetic condition that causes loose skin and stretch marks, so comparing myself to other women has always been painful. Even women who are quite a lot heavier than me look better to my eyes just because they have tight skin holding everything together. The flip-side is that I'm also built like a rubber band because of it, and that has its perks; but I always figured most guys would slam on the brakes as soon as they saw me naked. I agonize over every jiggle and loose fold. I think it used to be that men didn't do this (being so picky about appearance) - because they weren't habituated to having their face all up in an endless procession of top-ten-percent visually attractive, nubile female bodies. That was not a thing before technology made it so widespread. But now they totally do. Now the average young guy is thoroughly habituated to that "flawless" look - a look that in reality requires not only that the woman be in the top whatever percentile, but also (in most cases; those rare an truly flawless beauties notwithstanding) depends on the application of several layers of visual filtering - either pre-camera in the form of full body makeup, or post-camera in the editing process. In many cases I believe women are simply trying to keep up with the attention deficit caused by the advertising and porn industry. They perceive (correctly) that men's gazes are passing them over entirely if they can't compete with the advertising girls and the television girls and the porn girls. We all know instinctively that those women look a lot plainer and more blemished and careworn under all those layers - so in that sense, why SHOULDN'T we do the same things they do to get your attention? The first words my husband said to me after our first time, he whispered breathlessly in my ear: "Absolutely beautiful; every single thing about you." I KNOW he's had plenty of hotter women than me - but by the time we got to that point, he was attracted enough to ME that those glaring flaws were basically invisible to him. But this phenomenon is becoming rarer because people are less and less inclined to leave themselves open to it; insisting on establishing a sexual connection and performing a sexual appraisal within what usually amounts to a mere few hours of time actually spent together. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Kitty Tantrum said: One of the most important points to bear in mind is that the women in those pictures don't look like that either - but that doesn't stop men from expecting an airbrushed reality. Lots of the younger guys in particular these days won't direct any attention toward a woman who does not present to him that "centerfold-ready" appearance. I remember the first time my husband got me naked. I was so terrified of how he would size me up. I was in great shape at the time, but I have a legit genetic condition that causes loose skin and stretch marks, so comparing myself to other women has always been painful. Even women who are quite a lot heavier than me look better to my eyes just because they have tight skin holding everything together. The flip-side is that I'm also built like a rubber band because of it, and that has its perks; but I always figured most guys would slam on the brakes as soon as they saw me naked. I agonize over every jiggle and loose fold. I think it used to be that men didn't do this (being so picky about appearance) - because they weren't habituated to having their face all up in an endless procession of top-ten-percent visually attractive, nubile female bodies. That was not a thing before technology made it so widespread. But now they totally do. Now the average young guy is thoroughly habituated to that "flawless" look - a look that in reality requires not only that the woman be in the top whatever percentile, but also (in most cases; those rare an truly flawless beauties notwithstanding) depends on the application of several layers of visual filtering - either pre-camera in the form of full body makeup, or post-camera in the editing process. In many cases I believe women are simply trying to keep up with the attention deficit caused by the advertising and porn industry. They perceive (correctly) that men's gazes are passing them over entirely if they can't compete with the advertising girls and the television girls and the porn girls. We all know instinctively that those women look a lot plainer and more blemished and careworn under all those layers - so in that sense, why SHOULDN'T we do the same things they do to get your attention? The first words my husband said to me after our first time, he whispered breathlessly in my ear: "Absolutely beautiful; every single thing about you." I KNOW he's had plenty of hotter women than me - but by the time we got to that point, he was attracted enough to ME that those glaring flaws were basically invisible to him. But this phenomenon is becoming rarer because people are less and less inclined to leave themselves open to it; insisting on establishing a sexual connection and performing a sexual appraisal within what usually amounts to a mere few hours of time actually spent together. While I agree with most of this, you cant deny one simple fact... As someone born in the 60's most moms at the time looked like Barbara Billingsley, Elizabeth Montgomery, Barbara Eden, etc.. Maybe not as pretty but the body type generally the same..There has been a huge increase in women's average body weights....Not really sure why this is. I am sure there are a myriad of reasons, but the fact remains....When I look at the old photos from those times it was really pretty rare to find really heavy women...In my family only one aunt of mine was over....say....135 or so. Most were around 110-125 ish....And while she was huge for back then(prob 175ish) that would almost be considered average now.. Also....Bear in mind that back then every dad had a porn mag stash.. The single guys had a really big stash....I know this as we generally raided them and would steal a Penthouse or Playboy and bring it to our tree fort in the woods...😄 But clearly its wasn't as ubiquitous as it is now... I really don't want to fat shame here, its just that despite what other posters or the "everyone gets a trophy" crowd may say. most guys want petite women.. That doesn't mean they wont go for larger, its just that the smaller ones will generally be desired by more men... .My rule of thumb is if I cant throw a woman over my shoulder and carry up a flight of stairs without getting a brain aneurysm or a bad back, then its too much....and I am a particularly strong guy...😄 TFY Edited January 14, 2020 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 (edited) TFY, vintage dresses are certainly a lot smaller than many dresses these days. I think I'm about a US size 12 and I wouldn't have a hope in fitting any of them. I'm also taller than women back then. That said, there were also quite a few brick shaped matronly dresses getting around for women who were a few decades older. And that thing about you wanting to be able to throw a woman over your shoulder and carry her upstairs....it was always a fantasy of mine. But I've always dated men who were my height and even when I was slimmer, it didn't happen and I was sad. I talked about this with my 'fun sized' friends and they assure me that it doesn't happen even when you're petite. Edited January 14, 2020 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 9 hours ago, nospam99 said: I see 'about' 1% of the late 50s to 60s crowd post bikini pix. I'm sure the women who do just KNOW they can pull it off and are being 'in your face' to both the men who might want to date (and jack) and the women who will hate. When you've got it, flaunt it. Other women who post photos in tight dresses or ensembles (Natalie) probably could post bikini pix, too, but chose to cover more skin. There's one particular 57 y/o who got a 'WOW!' reaction from me (she ignored my 'wanna meet?' message ) Christie Brinkley (going to be 66 next month) is not the only senior lady with a spectacular body. Wow indeed. When I was online dating, any guy who sent a message that had a WOW reaction or similar was an immediate reject. When I received those types of messages, I automatically blocked the guys who sent them. It's way too forward for one thing, and not flattering. That kind of overly familiar approach may be part of your issues with not being able to interest anyone. I'm curious, in real life, would you say that to a complete stranger in a social situation if you thought she was amazing? If you are looking for the type of women who are into posting photos of themselves wearing tight dresses, that doesn't necessarily match up with your wish for an outdoorsy, athletic woman. There seems to be a disconnect there. Tight dresses and athleticism are also not necessarily mutually exclusive, but the "picture" of the type of women you are attracted to is becoming clearer. Agree with the others that women aren't looking at other women's dating profiles (unless they are bi or lesbians), nor hating anyone for "flaunting it." What is attractive to one person might be considered tacky by another. There are no absolutes when it comes to all of this, but your ideal woman, if she exists, may not be everyone's cup of tea, and that should work in your favor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 I wouldn't want a man throwing me over his shoulder TFY! 5 hours ago, greymatter said: When I was online dating, any guy who sent a message that had a WOW reaction or similar was an immediate reject. I agree, I didn't put up super-attractive photos because any man who's only interested in an online photo isn't going to fit with me in real life. And some of the man shots, where they have professional photos done, that is off-putting to me too, seems high maintenance. I'm looking for a man to grow old with, and aging is often not attractive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted January 14, 2020 Author Share Posted January 14, 2020 @greymatter. FWIW, the women in my hiking meetup groups are almost universally slim ... and by their appearance (gray hair, weathered skin), also 'seniors'. Overweight PEOPLE rarely have the aerobic capacity to do the kinds of hikes that these groups do. And people who regularly do these hikes would have to up their calorie intake to stay overweight. But, like other LSers have noted, there is a 'vibe' in these groups that everyone is there for the activity and being the guy who approaches the ladies with a 'wanna go out?' would not be seen as appropriate. And .... believe or not, I don't play the 'wow' or 'you are so hot' cards in OLD messages or even when I meet women in person. I may well be thinking it :D , but I don't say it and, hopefully, even continue to direct my gaze based on the realization that her 'eyes are up here'. On the other hand, I feel free to direct my gaze up and down when viewing a woman across a room or, especially, when she proceeds through a door I'm holding for her. Gotta try to avoid being seen being crass. Link to post Share on other sites
Tamfana Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 5 hours ago, Ellener said: I wouldn't want a man throwing me over his shoulder TFY! I agree, I didn't put up super-attractive photos because any man who's only interested in an online photo isn't going to fit with me in real life. And some of the man shots, where they have professional photos done, that is off-putting to me too, seems high maintenance. I'm looking for a man to grow old with, and aging is often not attractive. Same here. I don't want to attract guys who are deeply concerned about women's looks so my photos are random candids, no touchups. I'm looking (well, not at the moment but eventually) for a man to grow old with and to enjoy and have fun with, my goofball twin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 The vast majority of men I know in real life completely expect women of the same age range to look human and more or less along the same lines of attractiveness. It's really only on LS that I see these huge sweeping generalizations about fat women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Just now, Allupinnit said: The vast majority of men I know in real life completely expect women of the same age range to look human and more or less along the same lines of attractiveness. It's really only on LS that I see these huge sweeping generalizations about fat women. The number one complaint among men I know is that their wives are too heavy or unkempt and they wish they would do something about it...Some men I know even eventually divorced their wives over this sole issue, as the change was such that they became so dramatically different in appearance and the attraction sexually or otherwise, had left.. Do they say anything to them? Usually not.. As it not something that men like to do, as its considered insensitive... So all I am saying is just because you aren't hearing about it, doesn't mean its not a real issue.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: The number one complaint among men I know is that their wives are too heavy or unkempt and they wish they would do something about it...Some men I know even eventually divorced their wives over this sole issue, as the change was such that they became so dramatically different in appearance and the attraction sexually or otherwise, had left.. Do they say anything to them? Usually not.. As it not something that men like to do, as its considered insensitive... So all I am saying is just because you aren't hearing about it, doesn't mean its not a real issue.. TFY Well that's a damn shame. I hear a lot from the wives' side as well. He doesn't take me out anymore. He gets home and plops himself in front of the TV. He doesn't help around the house or with the kids. I mean take your pick - every married person is going to have a gripe. If women stop taking care of themselves I wonder if it's because there's a lack if effort on BOTH sides of the marriage. Maybe there's undiagnosed depression. To simply watch your wife become a shell of the woman you fell in love with and simply divorce her in silence because she "got fat." - can't really think of a worse thing to do to someone. Grass is greenest where you water it. Marriage is work all around on both sides to keep things fun. Do these buddies of yours have the ladies whistling at them on the street when they run down the cul de sac like you do? Edited January 14, 2020 by Allupinnit Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 1 minute ago, Allupinnit said: Well that's a damn shame. I hear a lot from the wives' side as well. He doesn't take me out anymore. He gets home and plops himself in front of the TV. He doesn't help around the house or with the kids. I mean take your pick - every married person is going to have a gripe. If women stop taking care of themselves I wonder if it's because there's a lack if effort on BOTH sides of the marriage. Maybe there's undiagnosed depression. To simply watch your wife become a shell of the woman you fell in love with and simply divorce her in silence because she "got fat." - can't really think of a worse thing to do to someone. Grass is greenest where you water it. Marriage is work all around on both sides to keep things fun. Do these buddies of yours have the ladies whistling at them on the street when they run down the cul de sac like you do? Oh, I do agree with you....it takes both sides... But let's be honest here...Its a no win situation for a guy that may be bothered by it...If he says something, its not like she is going to be inspired, and go out the next morning and train like a beast,, whipping herself into terrific shape...In most cases she'll cry, get angry, hurt and resentful, and it will just make everything terrible for him... SO he ignores it, jerks himself off on the couch, and either continues that existence forever or leaves one day... I'm sure women have the same issues on different levels.... I dunno...you would hear that before I would... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 46 minutes ago, Allupinnit said: The vast majority of men I know in real life completely expect women of the same age range to look human and more or less along the same lines of attractiveness. It's really only on LS that I see these huge sweeping generalizations about fat women. Yeah, and they're all coming from guys who can't get women because their expectations and entitlement are too great compared to what they're working with. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, preraph said: Yeah, and they're all coming from guys who can't get women because their expectations and entitlement are too great compared to what they're working with. 100% Agree... You have to be realistic and date within your league. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 A surefire way to make a woman instantly not attracted to you is to criticize her body. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pat77 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 On 1/12/2020 at 12:01 PM, preraph said: Because no one should be that micro-focused on physical perfection! Women are not cattle at auction!!😡 But you also said that while you’d date men who aren’t tall that tall men are just better looking. Which is fine you have a right to your opinion but ever consider how short guys might take that? If you have say small boobs for example and a guy here says while I’d date a women with small boobs let’s be honest a women with bigger boobs will always be more attractive would you like that? I just feel sometimes women complain about being judged harshly by men about physical attributes yet do the same thing to men about traits they like and dislike and don’t see the hypocrisy. If you don’t like being judged for your flaws you’d think you’d be more sensitive about it when you’re verbalizing what you like or dislike. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 I deal with reality pretty well. And I dated more short guys than tall guys. And I didn't say that all tall guys are better looking than all shorter guys, but I was saying that is the general consensus, because I don't judge someone just on their height. I like a nice face and hair over someone who's tall but not particularly nice in the face or hair. I already know what guys think about small boobs and imperfect figures. I don't think most young women have any idea how extreme it is. That said most of them will take what they can get, and a few aren't so single-minded that that's all they're focused on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 On 1/13/2020 at 2:58 PM, mark clemson said: And remember folks, despite what magazines and such appear to be telling you, many men just don't mind chubby that much... I agree! More men like chubby women than care to admit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 On 1/14/2020 at 7:31 AM, preraph said: A surefire way to make a woman instantly not attracted to you is to criticize her body. I don't think it's surefire at all, I've seen it work for some people but I think it is pretty rude. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Women are not realistic about their looks at all on OLD. If they were they wouldn’t use that damn anti-ageing filter cranked all way up to the “nuclear” setting which results in their face having no depth whatsoever so they look like a piece of candy floss with eyes and a mouth. I mean, seriously?! This filter is so insidious and harmful in what it does that I’ve gone on dates and the women have looked nothing like their pics. The sad thing is literally every woman is using it now and not just artfully, up to the max. When everyone is doing it and you know how much it distorts the truth it renders OLD null and void because you simply aren’t getting the goods as advertised. It’s that prevalent now that it really is making OLD almost unusable. Even young women who should have no reason to use it are at it. If women were both realistic and comfortable with their looks there would be no need for such a filter at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) Lol @ candy floss with eyes and mouth. But let’s be real, not everyone uses that filter....it just make them look more appealing so you message/go out with the ones obviously using filters in every pic. I’m sorry, but I’m saying it, if guys go on dates with girls who only use the blurry, google eye filter, they kind of deserve what they get. Same with girls who use these filters and don’t get a call back... you asked for it Edited January 26, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, some_username1 said: This filter is so insidious and harmful in what it does.....because you simply aren’t getting the goods as advertised. Wow, way to make a woman's low self esteem all about a man. How often do you complain about food stylists making food look extra good for the camera? I'd call it insidious and harmful because girls are getting caught up in the idea that they aren't good enough as is. Their self esteem is so low that they can't show themselves as is. The idea of beauty has taken over from the reality to a point where average is no longer considered good enough. I think it's really sad and the Instagram/snap chat thing is firmly to blame. Edited January 26, 2020 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 8 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Lol @ candy floss with eyes and mouth. I had to look up "candy floss" as I didn't know what that was. I had always heard that treat called "cotton candy". You learn something new everyday!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 9 hours ago, basil67 said: Wow, way to make a woman's low self esteem all about a man. How often do you complain about food stylists making food look extra good for the camera? I'd call it insidious and harmful because girls are getting caught up in the idea that they aren't good enough as is. Their self esteem is so low that they can't show themselves as is. The idea of beauty has taken over from the reality to a point where average is no longer considered good enough. I think it's really sad and the Instagram/snap chat thing is firmly to blame. You say that, but look at it this way: if a woman goes on a date with a guy who has doctored his pictures or he is using pictures that aren’t him or were from five years ago when he actually had teeth whose fault is that? Would you lament men’s poor self esteem that they have to pull this chicanery just to get someone to date them? Somehow I don’t think you would be shedding any tears for the man in that story, you would be batting for the woman who was deceived. What I’m talking about is literally the same scenario except with the genders reversed. I’ve been on dates with these filter queens and the difference is startling especially when it’s cranked up to the max (as it usually is). It literally is like a different person. It’s deception plain and simple- it wouldn’t be tolerated if it was a man doing it and so women should be called out on it too. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 It's already not tolerated when men do it and the most common complaint is men using photos that are 15 or 20 years old because they may genuinely think they still look like that. Since you are already schooled on the filters, I think maybe your imagination could fill in the gaps there and assume that the woman may have some lines or zits 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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