elaine567 Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: I think they believe they can win them over with their sparkling personality so much that the person overlooks the fact they just blatantly lied to them That in itself is not "normal" either... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 I know someone who is obese who hasn't got a mirror in her entire house and doesn't try things on in a mirrored dressing room. She has a warped sense of what she looks like. I mean, she knows she gets bigger and smaller, but she really has no idea. And there are plenty of guys who never look at themselves in a full length mirror either. So this one I know sent really old photos to someone she met on a game online over a decade ago and then got real hurt when he came to town to meet her, and instead staked out her house to get a look at her first and then bolted. And then someone on the game (not him) said something about it. I asked her, So didn't you send him any current photo? And she had not. She was just living in this fantasy in her head. She wasn't even being herself. She was being her character. I sometimes post a photo of me from a long time ago somewhere, but I always put the year date on it, and it's never done for purposes of trying to date. It's just kind of delusional to do that on a dating site. I mean, I can sort of see putting a favorite older photo of yourself doing something you achieved or loved on there -- with a date, alongside current photos. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Nothin wrong with that. Even on a date site it'd kinda be nice really as long as they were honest about it and had recent pics too. Pics from different times like that you'd feel like they were sort of sharing a bit more about themselves and really, that'd help actually if anything. Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Guys put up old photos also. It happened to me when I was using OLD. He used a 10 year old photo and when we met in person, he had aged a lot and was heavier. He was someone who had done TED talks which were posted online, and it was easy to look him up and see he'd used an old photo, the one that accompanied his TED talks. So it's not just women who do this. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 The threshold for "fitness" has been significantly lowered over the years...It would be nothing for a woman( most guys will happily admit they are fat and out of shape,, ime) to claim she is "fit" because she can still walk up a single flight of stairs without having a stroke..... I dunno...I have no dog in this fight, but if a guy asked a woman for a pic in a two piece, would it be so horrible.? nothing sexual, just typical beach gear...That is assuming she classifies herself as fit and slim.. Like it or not, a fair amount of women's value is still heavily placed on looks/appearance...And the higher the quality of the guy, the more he is going to weigh that into the equation... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) Yea it would be kind of horrible lol. I don’t think many quality women on OLD would receive that request well. I mean it’s one thing to be shallow, an entirely other thing to broadcast it. Sucks, but true. Like asking a guy how much money he makes, I mean just wondering. Some things you have to pretend you don’t care about for awhile Edited January 12, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 It goes beyond just asking a man how much money he makes. It's asking a man to see a copy of his current bank statement and credit report. Only one way to find out what a woman looks like under her clothes and that's to get to know her well enough to earn the trust that she lets you go there. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 1 hour ago, preraph said: Only one way to find out what a woman looks like under her clothes and that's to get to know her well enough to earn the trust that she lets you go there. I wonder how these women feel when they get to this stage and finds out the man is disappointed with what he sees. Obviously, I do my best to hide my reactions in these situations (which fortunately don't happen often), but I still wonder if they can tell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 Well to be real, if a man is that particular that he can't tell whether she looks good enough in her clothes to look good enough out of her clothes, he's definitely too picky and it's only going to make women feel self-conscious and like the guy is a jerk. You can get a good enough idea what someone looks like when they're dressed. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 54 minutes ago, preraph said: 1 hour ago, Shining One said: I wonder how these women feel when they get to this stage and finds out the man is disappointed with what he sees. Yep... Haven't you ever seen those late night infomercials where there are these "wonder undergarments" that make a woman's figure from really rough to knockout? And I doubt any woman would be called a jerk if she dropped a guy because he was wearing inserts in his shoes, or even if she found out he had a 2" dick, but had no way to know that., then bailed....Why is there this lack of transparency? Or why would a guy be considered a jerk if all he wanted was a woman who is who she is ,making herself out to be...? I know myself, presuming I was doing this thing...I would have zero issue disclosing anything about myself, if someone was so inclined to wonder....want a pic in my undies? Sure.. I dunno, ladies...I get the feeling like y'all expect X,Y, Z from a guy, (including very precise height numbers and W2 #'s) but he can't question anything? TF Y Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 TFY, on the flipside, lack of foundation wear is why most modern women don't look as polished as her 1950's mother or grandmother. I'm guessing the following link is the precursor to what you're seeing on infomercials. https://glamourdaze.com/2017/08/1940s-fashion-1948-guide-to-foundation-wear.html (the link is safe for public). I picked up a vintage version of the last image in this series. It really does provide a better finish, but I really can't be bothered with getting all held in. Also had an epiphany about corsets recently too. I was doing a Steampunk cosplay and I put on a voluminous skirt which I'd made from a lightweight upholstery fabric. It was so heavy that it dragged terribly on my waist and was pretty much unwearable. So I put on a corset (I make those too) under the skirt and bustle and the whole combo then felt as light as a a feather. They were more about helping to support heavy clothes than about shaping. Frankly, I'd ditch my bra tomorrow forever if I could. But I'd get called trashy, and so I don't. Women are damned if they change their shapes and damned if they don't. I like a bit of vintage shapewear for fun, but my instinct is that of a 1960's bra burner. Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 These women are basically out here cat fishing at this point, between make up, filters, angles and lighting, you are practically looking like a different person after all this. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 2 hours ago, preraph said:. You can get a good enough idea what someone looks like when they're dressed. You sure can, and more. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Like asking a guy how much money he makes, It's like asking a man for a picture in a speedo. Exactly. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said: It's like asking a man for a picture in a speedo. Exactly. Sure, why not? Id do it... But that's not even a valid comparison...Most guys at the beach wear regular shorts/trunks...and women wear bathing suits....Either one or two piece...Not to mention that at places like the gym or even on the street when the weather is good, women wear sportsbras and shorts/yoga pants.. This shouldn't be that big of a deal for a woman that claims to be fit...In fact if I were a woman that was using OLD, I would probably willfully include a bikini shot..just to get a leg up on my competition that wont or cant... I dunno...I still say there is this feeling I get that its ok for a woman to demand perfection and place all kinds of demands and filters, yet a guy needs to use his imagination, and try to envision what she may look like without deceptive clothing and photoshop/filters and hope for the best?? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) Well you got that right Most of them on mine , for some really bizarre reason , only had 5 or 6 head and shoulders pics, that's it. l'm not kidding, saw 100s of them doing that. l found it so mind boggling apart from the ones that obviously just didn't want anyone to see how over weight they were, that l emailed one chick and asked her. And she answered and said , yes , only a select few will ever see full body pics. Ohhhhh, right , well excuse me your highness , good luck with that. Unless they had a face like Monroe , which believe me 99% were far from, the logic defies . Edited January 12, 2020 by chillii 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 1 hour ago, thefooloftheyear said: This shouldn't be that big of a deal for a woman that claims to be fit...In fact if I were a woman that was using OLD, I would probably willfully include a bikini shot..just to get a leg up on my competition that wont or cant... Likewise, I don't have a dog in the fight. But I can't imagine being desperate enough to take extra pics to prove that I am who I say I am. If I what I put out there isn't good enough, go bother someone else. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 1 hour ago, chillii said: And she answered and said , yes , only a select few will ever see full body pics. Well if she does have good bod, then strange guys may end up fapping to her and this wigs her out. Totally her prerogative. And like I just mentioned to TFY, they likely aren't desperate enough to do something they are uncomfortable with. If they aren't desperate, then lack of interest from a guy who needs fully body shots is no loss to them. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 We need to get real here. How many 60+yo women which is the age group we are talking about will be able to look good in a bikini. Very, very, very few, and if we are realistic I would say none, how many woman of a certain age really want to present themselves half naked to the scrutiny of a whole lot of leering old guys on the internet? Old guys that she probably isn't even attracted to anyway... These women are mostly grandmothers, many are not really going to be interested in unsubtle, coarse guys who want full body shots or pics of her in a bikini, before they agree to meet. The days of women being seen purely as sex objects was supposed to end, but it just seems to have got worse... 60+yos are "supposed" to publish bikini shots???? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, basil67 said: Well if she does have good bod, then strange guys may end up fapping to her and this wigs her out. Totally her prerogative. And like I just mentioned to TFY, they likely aren't desperate enough to do something they are uncomfortable with. If they aren't desperate, then lack of interest from a guy who needs fully body shots is no loss to them. Haaaa , a typical gobbledygook answer to such a ridiculous thing. Ahh, they're on a date site . You wouldn't go out to a bar or club single hoping to meet someone wearing only your head would ya, especially if even that wasn't much to look at anyway. And if a guy were showing face only in 5 or 10 pics l'll bet you a million bucks even if she does contact him the first thing she'd say is asking for full pics, they're worse than men in my experience/observation. And l'm sure if he was in a bar and all she could see was he's face, she'd have no interest whatsoever in seeing the rest, of course not. No dogs in this one either, don't even know why l bother or even doing here actually l def' do not need anymore women. The memory of some of the date site double standards and crap still just boggles the mind is about all . Edited January 12, 2020 by chillii 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 3 hours ago, elaine567 said: We need to get real here.How many 60+yo women which is the age group we are talking about will be able to look good in a bikini. Very, very, very few, and if we are realistic I would say none, how many woman of a certain age really want to present themselves half naked to the scrutiny of a whole lot of leering old guys on the internet? Old guys that she probably isn't even attracted to anyway... These women are mostly grandmothers, many are not really going to be interested in unsubtle, coarse guys who want full body shots or pics of her in a bikini, before they agree to meet. The days of women being seen purely as sex objects was supposed to end, but it just seems to have got worse... 60+yos are "supposed" to publish bikini shots???? Just so we are clear....I wasn't necessarily referring to any particular age group...more just expanding on the topic being discussed... And I agree with you...everything is age specific...A "hot " 50 year old woman isn't the same as a hot 20 something women and all guys know this.. But that being said, take a drive through my neighborhood during warm weather and you will see all types of women on the street running/walking "half naked: as you put it...Are those women wrong for allowing themselves to be leered at as well? They obviously don't seem too bothered about it... But here is the thing... ALL the guys I know that have used OLD claim that the number one issue they have is that there isn't enough transparency with regard to appearance and some just appear to be deliberately deceptive...In that case, again if I were a woman and knew this, I would buck that trend and put it out there … If the goal is to attract good men, then why not use all the tools in the toolbox?? It need not be distasteful or raunchy...The funny part about this is you see tons of heavier women who deliberately make sure you see how enormous their breasts are...So they are in fact "using what they can" in that case.. Additionally it bothers me when there is critique of men by women for being so fixated on looks, yet have no issue immediately disqualifying shorter men..This is how it is and how its always been....Its not going to change or be a certain different way because that's what women want it to be... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 10 hours ago, SumGuy said: You sure can, and more. Oops meant to quote this from preraph: "Well to be real, if a man is that particular that he can't tell whether she looks good enough in her clothes to look good enough out of her clothes, he's definitely too picky and it's only going to make women feel self-conscious and like the guy is a jerk. You can get a good enough idea what someone looks like when they're dressed. " 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 Women don't want men who only care about hard bodies anyway, not even the ones with hard bodies. Talk about objectifying women. "Show me a shot of you in a bikini before we go out so I can see if you're hot enough." Take a number, man. 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 1 hour ago, thefooloftheyear said: But that being said, take a drive through my neighborhood during warm weather and you will see all types of women on the street running/walking "half naked: as you put it...Are those women wrong for allowing themselves to be leered at as well? They obviously don't seem too bothered about it... Oh, great point. That’s right, in warm weather women should completely cover themselves at the risk of overheating so as not to “allow” the type of guy who would leer at women to see them. It’s definitely the fault of women who encourage disgusting male behavior when dressing lightly while exercising. Sure, they should definitely put full body swimsuit photos on a dating site for all to view, download, masturbate to and distribute at will. That will attract the kind of guy they want. 😉 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 seriously, this suggestion that a woman should show her body on a dating site in order to "prove" to any and all men looking at the site that it's good enough for a man to bother meeting her is just straight up whack. Like I said, I have met women who don't look like their pictures. Big deal. I was interested enough in whatever they had up on their profile that it was worth it to me to spend a little time in person. The majority of meetings don't end up going anywhere and lacking a better look at their bodies beforehand hasn't been the deciding factor. If it's an escort service I'd get it. No woman who has anything at all besides the physical going for her would even consider it either, so you'd be attracting all kinds of messed up cases. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts