How do I stop enabling my husband

[Daisydooks]

On 1/15/2020 at 4:32 PM, lil_missy said:

he is on methadone which he take daily. Which is another problem I have with him. I’m worried maybe he can’t get off bcuz if he does then he has cravings for drugs again that he can’t resist 

One of my best friends exs is on methadone 11 years later. He started it because he was not allowed to see his children unless he was clean. His daughters are now 12 and 14. He had his custody revoked when they were babies and he is still on the darn stuff. 

The ONLY reason he would get it off the street would be to avoid feeling a withdrawal, and to avoid failing a drug test. If he did fail a drug test at his clinic, they would increase his visits and wouldnt let him do a week of carry outs

[lil_missy]

1 minute ago, Daisydooks said:

One of my best friends exs is on methadone 11 years later. He started it because he was not allowed to see his children unless he was clean. His daughters are now 12 and 14. He had his custody revoked when they were babies and he is still on the darn stuff. 

The ONLY reason he would get it off the street would be to avoid feeling a withdrawal, and to avoid failing a drug test. If he did fail a drug test at his clinic, they would increase his visits and wouldnt let him do a week of carry outs

Unfortunately I am aware that many people are on methadone for life, that it is extremely hard to get it. Infact, my husbands sister is on methadone for life. 

But I also know there are many people that DO get off. And my husband has gotten off it before. So I don’t doubt that he can... if he wants it badly enough. 

I’m not ok with someone being on something so strong as this when they don’t really need it. He knows if he is not off I will never give him another chance. 

And if he can’t fix his problems, I am willing to walk away 

[Daisydooks]

1 hour ago, lil_missy said:

Unfortunately I am aware that many people are on methadone for life, that it is extremely hard to get it. Infact, my husbands sister is on methadone for life. 

But I also know there are many people that DO get off. And my husband has gotten off it before. So I don’t doubt that he can... if he wants it badly enough. 

I’m not ok with someone being on something so strong as this when they don’t really need it. He knows if he is not off I will never give him another chance. 

And if he can’t fix his problems, I am willing to walk away 

I am really sorry for all you're going through. I went through it with my ex. It wasn't his addiction I left him for but his cheating 12 years in. No kids, so moving forward was the most sane answer. I dont envy you or the choices you've got to make here. Hugs! Know you're not alone and have support. Xoxo

[Crazelnut]

I'd say you should carry on with your separation and also take the money.  See where he is in 6 months, and reevaluate then.  You don't have to make any "take him back" decisions right now.  Let him prove to you that he can get his crap together and sustain it.