:( My wife doesn't know what she wants

[mouseboxeo]

Ok me and my wife have been married for 7 months now. I'm a Marine and she so far has been a stay at home wife. She quit going to college so she could come out to Hawaii and get married. She told me she wasn't doing well anyway, and it was ok if she just quit. She said the school was paid for with a grant. Which also doesn't cover anything if you drop the classes at a certain point or Fail the classes. 2 months after we get married she wants to go back to school. I was very reluctant and told her I think she isn't ready for school and should wait. She didn't want to listen so decided to anyway. She said I don't want her to do anything, and just be a stay at home wife. I said fine, she can go to school if her parents pay for it. She got her mom to pay for 2 classes. I ended up paying for the books. She went to classes and then didn't feel like waking up and didn't feel like studying. She ends up Failing both classes without even finishing them because she stopped going. I would encourage her to study, but she was like I do when you are at work. She would lie to me about the grades she got saying they weren't in yet. I didn't even tell her I told you so afterwards.

 

OK then she wants to work. I say ok go find a job. She gets one and hates it at a small arts and crafts store. I tell her go find another one and then quit your job. She doesn't listen and walks off the job. Gets a job at Macy's a couple weeks later. Says she is bored at Macy's and then stopped going once school started. I told her not to work and go to school because she doesn't need to work and if she's going to school she should spend all her free time studying. Ok after school ended she never went back to Macy's because we were moving to another house. She says she'll go back once we get situated. Ok we are situated. She says she's going to wait til I go to Cali for Training which is close to 2 months. Its been 1 month and she still hasn't gone back, but has started school again.

 

Now she's complaining she wants to do modelling, and that I don't want her to do anything when I tell her to just relax for a little while I'm gone. I told her she can go back home once I go to Afghanastan in Dec, and she's like ok. She said she was going to work and go to school the whole time, and not see her friends who smoke weed, and get drunk. I can't see this happening especially when she's been doing all this. She says I am controlling because I told her not to drink, smoke weed or cigarettes.

 

Keep in mind she says I changed her for the better a lot of the time because I go to school while im in the military. She wanted/wants to join the military and I tell her not to because everything I go through with being in the marines. She was in ROTC and thinks its the same. It is very different, but she doesn't see it. Someone help please.

[Devildog]

Ah yes, it is situations like this why the Marine Corps briefly toyed with the idea of banning first enlistment Marines from getting married.

 

Neither of you were ready for marriage yet there Devil pup. You don't have enough salt on your cammies to truly be prepared for marriage. I had a number of married junior Marines in my platoon. Few of them even made it past 6 months.

 

Just outta curiousity here, did you propose to your High School sweetheart on leave after Boot Camp?

[Heavenlyflower9]

I would have waited to marry. My H and I have been married for 9. We're highschool sweethearts and both military brats. After graduation, he joined the AF and we got married right away because we really wanted to be together. Once he finished school, I moved to where he was stationed.

Things were hard at first......me being home sick and a stay at home wife. I left my family and work to be with my husband.

Anything for LOVE right?

Things got better...I started working because I could'nt stay home all day. I had to get out and communicate with people. Not just stay home with the dogs. I guess i still did'nt know what i wanted out of life.....still young. 19 years old! cmon....

It was hard.... I believe there was no trust. Even though he said there was. We could'nt calmly talk about our problems. Always argued...then made love things were okay.

Alot has happened over the years.... We had 2 children, H had A (feel free to read my posts), we went to MC, better communication and now doing good.

I think if I would have waited things probably would'nt have went the way they did. What i'm trying to say is...

Talk to her...tell her how you're feeling about all of this. Communication is very important in any marriage. It took us a long time to get where we're at.

Also try MC.....I'm not for divorce unless both sides want out.

But you need to be happy as well. Good luck and keep us updated!