princessaurora Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 My best friends daughter is 24 years old. She's jumped from relationship to relationship for as song as I can remember and has 3 kids to show for it. But now she's dating some new guy whose really into threesomes and group sex and he's pushing her to ask around to find someone that wants to join them. I found out about it because a coworker of mine is friends with her and confided in me about it because it made her feel uncomfortable when she texted her and asked if she wanted to come on the party bus and screw a bunch of people.Then she proceeded to tell her she really likes this guy so she's going to do whatever he asks. Nomally, she's just a one guy at a time type of girl and has never been with another girl to me or my coworkers knowledge. I know she's a grown woman, but i'm concerned she's going to get herself in trouble trying to please him. I mean, right now, its sex, and i'm not overly concerened about that as we all like a little experiencing at that age, but what if he's into drugs and gets her into that? So do i keep my mouth shut and hope nothing bad happens or do I betray my coworker and tell my bff? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Of course you shouldn't do such a thing. What would possibly make that seem appropriate? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 It's none of your business. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 (edited) If she was a young underage girl then yes but at 24 she is a grown woman and you saying anything would be terribly wrong and just not your business. Edited January 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessaurora Posted January 8, 2020 Author Share Posted January 8, 2020 15 minutes ago, Art_Critic said: If she was a young underage girl then yes but at 24 she is a grown woman and you saying anything would be terribly wrong and just not your business. That was my original thought too. She is not a child. But a few people including my husband think i should tell my bff because its still her child and if she's having all kinds of orgies she could end up with an std or something. I'm not going to say anything unless I find out he's got her shooting heroin or something along those lines. Then i'm going to make it my business real fast. Thanks for the input, everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 You said she has three kids to show for it and I get the drift that they are from different fathers? Who takes care of the kids? If your BFF forever is carrying that burden then I say tell her everything. Who cares about her daughter. Protect your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkFlamingo Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 Imagine how your BFF will react when she finds out what her daughter is doing and that you didn't tell her as her BFF. Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessaurora Posted January 8, 2020 Author Share Posted January 8, 2020 (edited) My friend takes care of the two oldest most of the time (7, 11) and my friends mom takes care of the baby when shes at work. Things were going great with newest baby daddy or over a,year. He seemed like a guy who had his stuff together. They were renting a home, he was workiing, she was going to college, and they were tending to the baby's needs. Then she broke up with him and at first she stayed grounded, until she met this new guy. Now he's got her doing anything he asks. Her friend from my work is married with 2 young children and was appalled when she tried to recruit her for sex because she knows she's not like that. I told her even if she was it doesnt bother me as long as shes being safe but warned her involving close friends same or opposite is almost always a recipe for disaster. (a lesson I learned from experience) Like I said before, it's not too much the sex I'm worried about, but mainly the influence this guy has over her to grant his every request. It's a tough call because she has me on her social media and that can be a benefit to her mother as I can keep her informed. But this is something she's not advertising and if my BFF confronts her she's going to know who the source is. Edited January 8, 2020 by princessaurora Add quote Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 This girl is an adult. It's her life to do with what she pleases and for her to deal with. You should not interfere. It's not yours or your husbands business. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 On 1/8/2020 at 7:48 AM, princessaurora said: My friend takes care of the two oldest most of the time (7, 11) and my friends mom takes care of the baby when shes at work. Things were going great with newest baby daddy or over a,year. He seemed like a guy who had his stuff together. They were renting a home, he was workiing, she was going to college, and they were tending to the baby's needs. Then she broke up with him and at first she stayed grounded, until she met this new guy. Now he's got her doing anything he asks. Her friend from my work is married with 2 young children and was appalled when she tried to recruit her for sex because she knows she's not like that. I told her even if she was it doesnt bother me as long as shes being safe but warned her involving close friends same or opposite is almost always a recipe for disaster. (a lesson I learned from experience) Like I said before, it's not too much the sex I'm worried about, but mainly the influence this guy has over her to grant his every request. It's a tough call because she has me on her social media and that can be a benefit to her mother as I can keep her informed. But this is something she's not advertising and if my BFF confronts her she's going to know who the source is. You are overly eager to get involved in this, adding zillions of details almost as a means of disguising what remains at its root you still wanting to involve yourself. The title of the thread includes promiscuity and yet you add here: "It's not too much the sex I'm worried about". It is not a tough call at all. The only factor which should be guiding you (provided nothing included here is even so far as unlawful ) is the following: "You can always tell her, but you can never UN-tell her". (when 'mom' comes at you 9 months from now, growling, asking why you didn't come and inform her that her daughter likes to sleep around, simply recite the line above and let 'mom' contemplate the far-reaching potential of any other position you could have taken) (keeping all three avenues of mutual respect open is far more important than your urge to tell your best friend about her daughter) And it is highly improbable that any not-too-much-worried-about promiscuity is at all "sudden" based on evidence you offered in the OP. The chance that your best friend already knows that her own daughter likes to sleep around is so great that your wanting to risk informing her only to come off as someone shining a light onto the incredibly obvious while seeming to judge and shame (what is effectively BOTH daughter AND mom) in the process is a risk where you can not win. You can only avoid losing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessaurora Posted January 10, 2020 Author Share Posted January 10, 2020 I wouldnt say she sleeps around. She was in a long term relationship with all three guys that she has children with. She just started very young (got pregnant at 14 with her first). Yes, she obviously has sex and her mother knows that, but its usually with one guy at a time that she's currently dating, not a bunch of people at once. Still, im not going to say anything, unless i find out he's getting her into drugs, which I think we can all agree is a reason to open my mouth. I wasnt even considering saying anything until my coworkers/husband suggested I did. My bff does not know the girl I work with (she met her daughter at a past job)and if that was my informer, my friend would never know because she sure as heck isnt going to say anything, so neither am I. I've done some pretty wild things in my late teens/early 20's and i absolutely would have fell out if my parents would have ever found out. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 57 minutes ago, princessaurora said: I've done some pretty wild things in my late teens/early 20's and i absolutely would have fell out if my parents would have ever found out. Exactly! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 9 hours ago, princessaurora said: I wouldnt say she sleeps around. You don't need to say it again. You already have!!! pro·mis·cu·ous /prəˈmiskyo͞oəs/ adjective 1. having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships. That ship sailed ! Now, for your own future, cease at once trying or even wanting to involve yourself where you don't belong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 It's not even close to being your business what a grown woman, a mother of 3, is doing in her private life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 I agree that it is none of your business. If this woman has 3 kids with 3 different men she has plenty of sexual experience and is probably looking forward to the event. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Of course you shouldn't tell her. As has been mentioned, it's likely she already knows. Telling her may hurt your friendship - I don't think anyone appreciates hearing judgmental comments about their children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Artdeco Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 (edited) On 1/10/2020 at 3:21 PM, Finding my way said: Of course you shouldn't tell her. As has been mentioned, it's likely she already knows. Telling her may hurt your friendship - I don't think anyone appreciates hearing judgmental comments about their children. Agreed. Why would you even consider getting involved? And yes, the mother probably knows, because she’s the mom. She is closer to her daughter than you. Edited January 12, 2020 by Artdeco Link to post Share on other sites
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