Break up. Now she wants to meet up.

[Jake1234]

Hi. 
 

so me and my gf broke up 2 days ago. Not to go into the details but I didn’t handle it as well as I should of. She called me selfish and by the way I’d acted it had made it easy for her to end it, speaking to other people they think she’s done this because she wants me to resent her but that doesn’t matter, she’s now asked to meet up after two days to grab a drink. 
 

Should I go. Could be a chance for me to say that I’m sorry for the way I acted during the break up because I don’t like the way I acted and a chance to clear the air. Or is it to soon to be going and meeting up with all the fresh emotions. 

[Mr. Lucky]

7 minutes ago, Jake1234 said:

speaking to other people they think she’s done this because she wants me to resent her

So those are her reasons.  What's your motivation to meet?  

Mr. Lucky

[Jake1234]

I have stuff to get back from her that I want. And in all honesty I do miss her and a chance to see her might be nice but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. 

[schlumpy]

I wouldn't go because she's going to try and put you in her friend zone. Maybe to ease her own conscience. Ask a friend to pick up your stuff or have her drop it off at a relatives place. If you go your emotions will betray you.

[d0nnivain]

If you need your stuff back & want to apologize for an outburst during the break up, go.  Do tell her in advance to bring your stuff.  Have zero expectations.  Assume this is about straighten the business between you -- exchanging stuff -- & not reconcilling.  Keep a tight lid on your emotions. 

[Chloe1995]

I’d say just get your stuff and talk to her if she wants to she’ll explain stuff and might give you closure. If you don’t feel ready though and you think you’ll Let your emotions get the better of youndont go. 

Edited January 8, 2020 by Chloe1995

[Jake1234]

So I went and it was very good. We talked for 2 hours which was really good. She said I didn’t do anything wrong in the relationship and that we had some great times but she wasn’t ready for it as it got serious to quickly. She said I was 100% the right person just at the wrong time in her life. She wants to stay part of each others life’s as she said she wants to see what happens. She said if were meant to be then we will get back together if not after a while we’ll drift apart she just wants her own space for now. I told her I’m not shutting the door on her but I won’t be waiting outside of the door for her. 

[d0nnivain]

Sounds like it went as good as possible.  Do realize that the staying in each other's lives is just code for no drama.  There will not be meaningful attempts to check in or stay connected.  

[ExpatInItaly]

I think she felt guilty for hurting you by breaking up with you, and this was a way to extend an olive branch and soothe her conscience. 

You would be wise to keep your distance from her, not to be punitive, but so that you don't get even more hurt when she eventually moves on and dates someone else. 

[Mr. Lucky]

11 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

this was a way to extend an olive branch and soothe her conscience. 

Good point.  OP, realize this was more about settling her feelings than validating yours.

Time to move on...

Mr. Lucky

[Jake1234]

I get it was just an olive branch but I take what she said at face value and while I’m not planning on waiting for her to be ready,because that would be stupid,  I’m happy to talk to her and see if what’s what. 

[GeorgiaPeach1]

I get the feeling she wants to see what else is out there, and still have you waiting on the back burner in case she can't find what she's looking for. Don't be anyone's back burner person.

 

[Jake1234]

So my ex gf has hacked my snapchat to see what I’ve been saying about her. 
 

even though she ended it and she wanted to stop talking. Can and should I ever forgive her. 

[preraph]

You should just block her on Snapchat and all your other social media so that you can forget about her and move on, and stay off her social media too.