Author Bobbyb82 Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 On 1/11/2020 at 2:06 PM, Lotsgoingon said: Hard to tell but based on your lines above, you VOLUNTEERED to postpone the date, you SUGGESTED that she postpone the planning for a date ... She didn't tell you the rest of the story. I've done this ... and it's a terrible move. Ask the question. Then silence--allow the person to fully answer. You seem to step all over her answer. What you want to do instead, is simply listen. My guess: had you just stayed silent and allowed her to answer the question, you would be able to tell if this was a blowoff or not. Let me see can indeed be a dismissal. Or let me see can be an honest response of someone who knows they've got several things going on ... none totally settled ... and so they need to think about their schedule. I have a friend who just days ago, asked "hey can we get together for coffee on Saturday morning." This is one of my favorite people. My answer: let me see. I knew I had several things going on over the weekend, and I wanted to look at my calendar ... and more important, I wanted to take a moment to think about what I may have left off my calendar ... before committing to the specific time. A day later I told my friend that Saturday coffee is fine. Questions: did she complete her thoughts and say ... I'm not sure about Friday ... but maybe Saturday could work? ... Did she seem to have multiple items up in the air? If so, I don't see this as a blowoff. A blowoff is usually a firm, "I'll have to see." Pause. Silence. No elaboration, no explanation of events up in the air. In case, stop volunteering and suggesting that the person postpone the date. If you get no, then it's a no. Don't suggest a no. On 1/11/2020 at 3:03 PM, OatsAndHall said: I suggest you just "wait and see". You've put the ball in her court and now you can see if she comes through with plans. On 1/11/2020 at 8:07 PM, hercules22 said: i hate let me see or ill let you know and maybe type of answers just dont have your hopes up but with that in mind you let her do the work now suggest a day and if she not available she can come to you ,never chase On 1/11/2020 at 8:28 PM, smiley1 said: It means that she doesn't know which day yet. She will check and get back to you. Don't write yourself off, be confident. We had a date Friday night, I didn't chase, she made time. It's not always doom and gloom guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 To me, "Let me see" type responses are either a "no" or they're a real disorganized person, which either one is a pass, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
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