AllGoodSoon Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 \ Will try to keep the story short... I had a LTR of 4.5 years that she ended last month, next monday marks 1 month. We had married in march last year, not officially, only a private ceremony and just the two of us during an international trip, and the ceremony was all romantic and the trip was great and we were in love and in a great mood. The first 2 years or so of our relationship were nothing short of amazing, then (not yet sure why) I started neglecting it, like taking it for granted. Maybe was her that pushed me to a “cave” and made me neglect not only her but also myself (lost most of my social contacts and hobbies), but it doesnt matter the reason or who’s to blame for what I’ll ask. For me the breakup came from nowhere and I thought I could fix it and try again, so for the first week I was really sad/depressive and I begged in 3 different occasions, sent her messages, waited for her at our house (she was the one that signed the lease, so its technically her house), sent her a letter. She declined all my tries (harsh on the last one) and never met me in person again. Then on the 8th-ish day I stopped and said I was ok with it, I understood and that was that, but still messaged her after, once or twice even cheerfully. So we ended it in good terms. But as I didnt know of NC by the time, I interacted with her a few times, mostly about issues we had to sort as we lived together (bills, furniture etc), and she even contact me sometimes as well. But today I think I sorted the last issue that *had* to be sorted. And while messaging her for the past couple days, she seemed sometimes cold and sometimes happy, both things hurt me. At least I don’t check her instagram... thatd be too painfull. So the question is... even after a month of back and forth texting (maybe 6 times in total), should I block her as to try to heal faster? I feel that every message of hers will hurt me one way or another. By blocking her, would I look immature? Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 If you can block her and keep going forward, then do so. If you think blocking would have the opposite effect--making you obsess over what she might be posting--then don't do it. A better thing might be to temporarily deactivate YOUR social media, instead if blocking. Later on when you've done some healing, then you can reactivate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 Are you getting divorced or is this a separation? If it's a separation then you need to go NC to avoid further emotional upheaval. Do not let her keep you around for a backup plan. The only reason to break NC will be if she wants to work on the relationship. She broke it off with you so she has to earn her way back. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 If the business of ending your relationship & moving has been resolved, there is no more reason to stay in contact. You don't have to bloc but you do have to unfriend / unfollow off social media & delete her # from your phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AllGoodSoon Posted January 11, 2020 Author Share Posted January 11, 2020 Thanks for the replies @d0nnivain @schlumpyand @GeorgiaPeach1 All you said makes sense. I guess I will go with NC but not block her. I have already unfollowed her on IG, but I wont deactivate my account, I will just keep discipline and not check hers or any of her friends (which I also unfollowed) profiles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 If you are getting divorced, absolutely do not block her until the divorce is over. You NEED to push for divorce... Until you do, she will always consider you an option. This act goes to show you how seriously she takes marriage and you dont want any part of it... But absolutely do not block her until you are divorced and PUSH for that divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 If the marriage is less then a year an annulment might be available. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AllGoodSoon Posted January 11, 2020 Author Share Posted January 11, 2020 @CAPSLOCK BANDIT and @schlumpy Im actually not legally married (it was a private ceremony). So all good on that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 11, 2020 Share Posted January 11, 2020 34 minutes ago, AllGoodSoon said: @CAPSLOCK BANDIT and @schlumpy Im actually not legally married (it was a private ceremony). So all good on that matter. Do a double take on the particulars, make sure everything is done, then you block her ass across everything you interacted with her through. Do not make yourself available in any capacity. Also, no more private ceremonies... Either take the leap or dont, this middle ground isnt good for anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AllGoodSoon Posted January 15, 2020 Author Share Posted January 15, 2020 On 1/11/2020 at 3:42 PM, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: Do a double take on the particulars, make sure everything is done, then you block her ass across everything you interacted with her through. Do not make yourself available in any capacity. Also, no more private ceremonies... Either take the leap or dont, this middle ground isnt good for anyone. I thought it would be a good idea to block her, but that’s not me, I don’t feel like doing it and I wont. But, its been 3-4 days since I basically dont think about her, only a quick thought once a day, and Im finally feeling great. About the private ceremony, I guess I agree with that. Won’t do that next time. thanks for your answer Link to post Share on other sites
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