ItsAllConfusing Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. For the last couple of months we've had ups and downs. He's draining my energy and I in return I affect his energy because of my negative thinking, timid nature and sensitivity. Lately everytime I leave him for the day I say to myself how can we ever live together? How could we ever have kids together? At least now because we live separately I am able to get a break at home but if we lived together there would be no escape. I'm afraid by breaking up that I will regret it. He has good qualities to himself as well that I'd miss. He's extremely faithful and giving and I don't think I'll find another man like that. In fact I dont think I want to date until 4 plus years. Breaking up with him would mean losing a lover, a confidant, and a friend. He's got a lot of great things in the works that I helped him with so I want to make sure I finish helping him complete that (by the end of the month) then I think I want to bow out. How do you know when it's time to let go? I feel like the worst thing I can do is look back and regret breaking up. I'm 33 and he's 47. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 I think when you get to the point of posting that you don't feel you could live with him or have kids together, you have a pretty good indicator there. It sounds like you are afraid to lose a friend but it's better to lose him as a friend than to lose him when you stay with him and start to loathe him because you are not compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 OP, Sorry for your pain. From what you shared I would cautiously say that you and he both deserve better. Not saying he's perfect and you're a wreck. But you're feeling drained and you're emotions are rubbing off on him. Now, he could have a better wall and defense against that, but those aren't meant for everyday life and especially when it comes to a partner. Love isn't enough. Good qualities aren't enough. People have to have compatibility. Imagine how much happier you will both be if you break up and your lives both improve. If you care enough about this man then that would prove it. I learned a very hard lesson from my last relationship. I was so in love with her, so focused on our future together, that I missed and pushed aside my happiness NOW, my needs and wants NOW, I totally let her walk all over me disrespecting me and letting her act immature, and I totally let her go without making any real effort in the relationship all while I was sacrificing a lot to make it work. Do yourself and this man a favor - let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
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