G/F destroyed me at party

[LostBF]

Hi, I (17m) and my g/f (16f)  have been dating for 8 months and I thought we were deeply in love.  We are both popular and what I would consider to be  attractive.  So, yesterday some older guys that I know  from my neighborhood were have a party and I decided to bring my g/f along and have a good time.  I have known most of these guys for a while as we all participate in a sport that I excel at.  

We arrived at the party around 10pm  and my gf and I got a couple of beers and were having a good time mingling with others at the party.  This was the first time that I had brought her around and was proud to show her off.  There was a guy( lets call him JC)  there that I know who is a pro level surfer who is  around 23yr, he is super popular and the girls all love this guy. I have even heard that this guy actually has a sugar mama that pays for his apartment.. He has always been super cool with me and we have hung out a few times.   

Anyway, her and I are hanging out and my gf sees this guy and asks me "if that's JC over there?"  I said yes, that him and took her over to meet him.  As soon as we walk up to the table that he is sitting at, my gf gets a crazy look in her eyes and just stares at this guy like hes most incredible man she has ever met.  It was if this guy could have sex with her right  there at the table. Everyone was watching and It was so bad that even he looked uncomfortable.

After a couple of minutes of this I said to her "what are you doing"? and she just kind of pushed me aside and hung on every word that this guy was saying.  I finally said "come on, lets go" and she was like "go ahead, i'm staying".  At that point I just walked out the back door and went home.  At about 1am I couldn't take it anymore and I went back to the party and found JC still sitting at the same table and asked him were she was and he said that she had left with some friends of ours who has showed up after I left.

JC was actually really cool about it and asked me what was wrong with her.  He said that she had gotten really drunk and was trying get "all over him".  He said that he was really tempted but that he turned her down and said that he wouldn't do that to me.  I went home looking like a complete loser and woke up this morning hoping that it was all a bad dream.  She started texting me at about noon today ( I have not responded) and has sent about a hundred texts so far.

 

 

 

 

 

[Marc878]

Dump her and move on

[LostBF]

2 minutes ago, Marc878 said:

Dump her and move on

Thats the plan.

[major_merrick]

I concur.  If she's willing to get drunk and hang all over somebody else, get rid of her before the disloyalty goes any further.  BTW, good for JC for telling you what was up.  That's a decent friend.  He'll probably know someone who can be your next GF.

Edited January 13, 2020 by major_merrick

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

No contact, block her on everything.

[JTSW]

I agree with the majority here.

But it also concerns me that a 16 yr old girl is drinking alcohol and throwing herself at a 23 yr old guy.

Where are you from and whats the legal age for sex and drinking?

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

44 minutes ago, JTSW said:

I agree with the majority here.

But it also concerns me that a 16 yr old girl is drinking alcohol and throwing herself at a 23 yr old guy.

Where are you from and whats the legal age for sex and drinking?

Probably another MeToo after clout.

[d0nnivain]

Your GF proved herself unworthy of you.  Everyone saw that.  You are the wronged party here.  You are not a loser.  If you take her back I would seriously question your judgement. 

Break up with her & move on.  

I'm glad JC had enough sense not to go for the jailbait but I still Q why an adult would want to go to a HS party.  

[schlumpy]

The only way you are a loser is if you take her back.

[LostBF]

2 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

The only way you are a loser is if you take her back.

Im at school now and her and her friends have been trying ta talk to me all morning.  I have no plans on ever talking to her again.  They keep telling me that she didn't cheat on me.

Quote

I'm glad JC had enough sense not to go for the jailbait but I still Q why an adult would want to go to a HS party. 

It wasn't really a HS party.

[LostBF]

Bell rang 10 minutes ago and I can see the parking lot from this class room. She is waiting for me at my car.  Not sure what I should do.

[gringoloco]

Please don’t go for the love of god. Push this woman away she doesn’t deserve you. It’s tough but be strong you won’t regret it

[Marc878]

3 hours ago, LostBF said:

Im at school now and her and her friends have been trying ta talk to me all morning.  I have no plans on ever talking to her again.  They keep telling me that she didn't cheat on me.

It wasn't really a HS party.

She’s not relationship material. If she didn’t cheat it’s only because the other guy didn’t oblige her but you really don’t know. Her friends will side with her no matter what.

She was pretty blatant so if you take these types  back You’ll get a repeat at some point.

[rjc149]

Girls that age are openly hypergamous -- meaning that they'll go for the higher-status "alpha" guy over the nurturing boyfriend/husband "provider" when presented with the opportunity. Since she's so young and isn't in the child-rearing mentality yet, the "provider" offers little value to her life. Right now she wants the "alpha". Having a boyfriend, having a connection and history with him, being in love, that doesn't really mean s*** to her when a more "alpha" guy comes along and starts showing her interest.

JC isn't inherently better or more attractive than you. He just has higher social status than you at this moment in time. He's older, more socially established, has more experience etc. Girls want the guy that all the girls want. All the girls want JC, the alpha male in your social circle, which is why your gf is so enamored by his attention. 

One of the most important lessons you can learn as a man is how to maintain your dignity and self-respect. It means having the strength to walk away from those who have disrespected you, and when you walk away, you MEAN it. 

Walk away from this girl, and don't ever look back to her. Meet a new gf. I'm sure you can. Focus on growing and becoming an alpha male that other guy's gf's are throwing themselves at. You've got a lot of time. 

[d0nnivain]

Go to your car.  Firmly tell her that how she treated you at the party was unforgivable.  She made her choice:  JC & now she has to live with the consequences.  You have no interest in being with a girl who could debase herself the way she did at the party.  Wish her well in life & ask her to leave you alone.  

[preraph]

3 hours ago, LostBF said:

Im at school now and her and her friends have been trying ta talk to me all morning.  I have no plans on ever talking to her again.  They keep telling me that she didn't cheat on me.

It doesn't matter.  She was a jerk . She would have cheated on you if he had taken her up on it.  Don't listen to them.  Just tell them you're not interested in her anymore.  It just takes a while to get to know someone.  Plus, when people are young, even up into their 20s, seems like they're always trying to "trade up" and exploring.

[d0nnivain]

I agree with preraph.  The only reason she did not cheat on you is that JC turned her down.  If he had been open to jail bait she absolutely would have cheated on you.  In fact from the moment she saw JC she forgot you existed.  Now you get to forget she exists.  

[ExpatInItaly]

She is far too young and immature to commit to you, OP. 

This is a kid with a lot of growing up and exploring yet to do. Don’t stick around and let her do it on your watch. She’s just proved to you she isn’t ready for anything serious, and something like this is nearly guaranteed to happen again. 

[MsJayne]

This girl is beyond immature, she's also extremely shallow with a soupcon of stupid thrown in. Some people never grow out of this behaviour, making a fool of themselves whenever an attractive member of the opposite sex is around. I have a friend who has been doing it all her life, she's 64 and still single, no man is safe around her and any guy she gets involved with ends up running away at high speed. I've sometimes thought of telling her what men say about her but I can't be that cruel, sadly it might have been just the thing when she was younger to give her the jolt she needed to stop acting like a total tool. I'd respond to your girls texts by pointing out that she made a complete fool of herself and you were embarrassed to be with her, and you'd prefer not to hear from her again. I know that'll be hard, obviously you're a bit smitten, (you need to ask yourself why being as she's such a tool), but that way you've kinda gotten your own back for the crappy way she's treated you.  F her off as quick as you can and find a girl with a functioning brain. 

[mark clemson]

Kudos to JC for helping you dodge this bullet. Concur with what Marc878, Preraph and others are saying.

Once you eventually have new GF be sure to accidentally bump into her at a party or something.  😇

[Ellener]

5 hours ago, LostBF said:

Bell rang 10 minutes ago and I can see the parking lot from this class room. She is waiting for me at my car.  Not sure what I should do.

Honey, you're just too young for this level of intensity. Don't worry, you are fine, she is fine, you're just too young to say stuff like 'deeply in love'. People who say that have to commit to the pain not just the good things. It'll be ok.

[mark clemson]

How did it go?

She wants you back (I believe) ONLY because you walking is a blow to her ego. So it becomes imperative to get you back ONLY because she wants to heal that "wound". Her interest has LITTLE to do with you, actually. Keep that in mind.

She was about to **** a guy right in front of you. Do NOT let her back in emotionally. Easy call.

[Daisydooks]

Oh man. Brutal

I'm really sorry this happened OP. I am twice your age now but very much remember those days with my first real boyfriend in high school. I WAS SO HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE. I sure thought he was my everything. He was not. He was also a cheaty mccheaterson!

I know it is horribly painful right now though and for that, I'm sorry, hun. There are no words she can say to fix this and have you trusting her again in any real way, so it's best to move on. No kids, not married, and you're 16 and 17... best to just cut ties. I promise moving on is best. Stay strong and come back here if you need people to chat about it with. We are here.

My ex cheated on me, and I was "so in love" with him I was blinded by him and allowed things to continue when my gut told me not to and I never trusted him alone again, and it ruined 2 years of my life because I allowed it. Dont be me. I know you may have moments of weakness where you miss her, but dont take her back no matter how much she begs. Save yourself the pain of her doing this over and over again. Even if she didnt cheat and even if she never cheated again, you will never trust her being out of your sight and you will always worry she will embarrass you by getting drunk and disorderly, or you'll worry about who she will hang onto next time you take her anywhere. She should be single and she can do as she pleases, but she shouldnt be allowed to drag you through it, is all. She is 16 and wont settle down for some time, even if before this she was your everything and vice versa. It's not practical and most high school relationships dont last. 

To anyone who is asking about 16 and 17 year olds drinking........ a LOT of them do! Even your own Lol.  It isnt foreign for kids to go to parties and drink before it is legal to drink. Before I had a fake ID, older brothers of my friends would buy it for us and we would go to a park or a house where parents werent home for the evening and party. My friends and I lied to our parents and said we were staying at each others places all the time. My mother should have killed me! She of course knows all of my secrets now that I am older, but I did so many things behind her back as a teen. I dont drink now and it is mainly because of an ex who indulged too much and became an addict. It simply stopped being fun for me, and depending on what I drank, I did really stupid, regrettable things too. I didnt always know my limit, and couldn't stay within it. So I choose not to drink anything, remain sober and drive myself home at the end of the night

[LostBF]

Thanks guys.  I waited almost an hour, until my car was one of the last ones in the lot.  I did get a chance to talk to the guys who drover her home on Saturday and they said that when they arrived at the party she was wasted with several older guys all around her.  They are pretty straight edge guys who don't normally party and they knew that it was not a good situation to leave her in.  They talked her into letting them take her home.  Its crazy how these guys that I'm not real close with (JC included) showed me 10 times more respect than the girl that I would have done anything for.

When I finally went to my car she was sitting there with tears in her eyes begging me to talk to her.  She had no ride, so I drove her home and listened to her BS story about how she told me to leave the party because we were fighting (news to me).  She claims that she had just heard so much about this guy and wanted to meet him and that I overreacted and started the fight.  I told her that she totally embarrassed me and acted like he was some kind of movie star or something.  I had never seen a girl act like that in my life.

She kept crying and saying that she was sorry and would never do anything like this again.  She kept wanting me to pull over (for sex) begging me to not break up with her.  I told her sure, maybe you didn't cheat but its only because he turned you down.  I actually left because I though you gonna start making out with this guy right there in front of me.  You just spent Christmas eve with my family and then you thought it was a good idea to throw yourself a some other guy right in front of me?

I dropped her off at her house and told her that we were done.  I could never look at her the same again, its like she was someone that I didn't even know.  I had been talking to these guys about how great my girl was for months and when I finally bring her around she makes me look like a complete idiot.  I'm DONE.

 

 

 

[Marc878]

Wise move now block her on everything. The problem is with these types is a repeat performance is highly likely. Let her be someone else’s problem. No one needs that kind of drama in their life plus you’d be looking over your shoulder permanently.

youll be fine without her.