Lorf10 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Wow. I am a 20 year old crying about a girl that I have never dated but that I lost bc "she isn't ready to date".... You should be proud of what you did. And I have to agree she sounds like a person who has a big potential to cheat! Don't worry about her, there are millions of people out there that treat you better. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Yeah, find another girl. Sometimes the cute ones get ahead of themselves and think they can get away with anything. (Guys too.) Sometimes they can maybe, but certainly not always. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 You will never feel safe with her around other men. She showed you who she is, believe her. She probably wants you back to save face because everyone who was there is talking about her behavior and word that you broke up with her makes her look bad. Good for you, you stood up for yourself and took back the respect she trashed at the party. The 23 year old guy didn't jump on her because she is 16, he is an adult, could have legal consequences for him. There are still more then 3 billion women in the world, the chances are really good that you will meet someone with the same boundaries and morals as you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Good for you. It sucks that she was like this but you are more mature then most for sticking to your guns. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 BTW, don't be shocked if once she realizes you're firm in rejecting her she suddenly totally hates you and tells all her friends mean or personal things about you etc. Not saying it will happen, but it could, so be prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostBF Posted January 15, 2020 Author Share Posted January 15, 2020 8 hours ago, mark clemson said: BTW, don't be shocked if once she realizes you're firm in rejecting her she suddenly totally hates you and tells all her friends mean or personal things about you etc. Not saying it will happen, but it could, so be prepared. Oh, she is already doing that. I talked to one of her friends today who said that she told them that I was trying to control her and tell her who she could and couldn't talk to at the party. Hell, I was the one who took her over and introduced her to him at the party. I mean people were actually saying out loud "dude whats up with your girl?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Not a shock. She sounds like one of these high-drama types who's the center of their own little movie in life. I mean who else would do that? I have known the type. They can be quite alluring, but generally aren't worth the headaches in the long run. You will probably be hearing a bit more from her one way or the other until her ego finally heals or she simply moves on. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Great job on handling the situation. Not many young men could do so well. Do not retaliate in any way. If someone asks about it be honest. Defend your position if need be. Be a man about it not some douche bag out for revenge. You have some great friends. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 (edited) OK dude, she's an impressionable 16 year old girl. You take her to a party and let her drink with a bunch of adults. SHE'S 16! not an adult. She doesn't have the brain development/maturity to have any kind of good judgement especially under the influence of alcohol. I am going to say you have to have some accountability because it was irresponsible of you to bring a 16 year old girl to an adult party and let her drink. She could have been sexually assaulted. Thank god these guys were respectful of her. Now for her, I hope she learned a hard lesson here about self control, and not drink anymore until she does some more growing up. I agree with everyone, don't contact her, it's over, she's way too immature, messed up in the head. I hope you both learn something from this. Seriously folk she's not some ho with a mattress strapped to her back, she just a 16 year old girl that isn't maturely developed yet. She made a mistake, she's paying for it. Edited January 16, 2020 by smackie9 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostBF Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 6 hours ago, smackie9 said: OK dude, she's an impressionable 16 year old girl. You take her to a party and let her drink with a bunch of adults. SHE'S 16! not an adult. She doesn't have the brain development/maturity to have any kind of good judgement especially under the influence of alcohol. I am going to say you have to have some accountability because it was irresponsible of you to bring a 16 year old girl to an adult party and let her drink. She could have been sexually assaulted. Thank god these guys were respectful of her. Now for her, I hope she learned a hard lesson here about self control, and not drink anymore until she does some more growing up. I agree with everyone, don't contact her, it's over, she's way too immature, messed up in the head. I hope you both learn something from this. Seriously folk she's not some ho with a mattress strapped to her back, she just a 16 year old girl that isn't maturely developed yet. She made a mistake, she's paying for it. Sorry Smackie, Its not like her and I haven't ever drank together before (dozens of times). I'm not sure how I am responsible for her being on her second beer and throwing herself at another guy. I left her there because she told me to leave and I sure as hell wasn't going to stick around for that kind of abuse. Why is the girl always the victim? BTW, i'm only 4 months older than her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 I think smackie is trying to get us not to pile on too hard to this 16 year old child who screwed up from alcohol & immaturity. This is partly what youth is for so you can let experience teach you. LostBF -- you are a good guy. You didn't deserve to be treated the way you were. You are not some adult pedophile scamming on the 16 year old hot chick. You are her age. I could go on & on about underage drinking but that would be pointless. Just don't drive if you have been drinking; you could kill somebody or yourself. Your EX GF did screw up & you properly dumped her. She's not a victim. This was a mess of her own making but she made the mess out of immaturity, fueled by alcohol she couldn't handle. I don't think she's callous or meanspirited just unthinking. Nevertheless, you remain right to walk away & find a girl who behaves more politely, not throwing herself at another guy in front of you, drunk or sober. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, LostBF said: Sorry Smackie, Its not like her and I haven't ever drank together before (dozens of times). I'm not sure how I am responsible for her being on her second beer and throwing herself at another guy. I left her there because she told me to leave and I sure as hell wasn't going to stick around for that kind of abuse. Why is the girl always the victim? BTW, i'm only 4 months older than her. on no I know she's not, she's a damn fool. She's way too immature for that kind of thing, to be around those kind of people. I'm just giving you the mom talk. Dumping her was the right thing to do without a doubt. Like d0nnivian said, be careful when around alcohol or bad #$%^ like this will happen again. BTW sorry for your loss. This crap is going to circulate for awhile at school I know been there done that....it sucks. Edited January 17, 2020 by smackie9 3 Link to post Share on other sites
UCanCallMeCrazy Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 @LostBF for a 17 year old guy, you handled yourself with great maturity. Lots of guys your age would not have handled it so well. Although your Ex-gf actions were something that often comes with a young age, they certainly were not something that could be easily forgiven, if at all. So you did the right thing. She will learn from it, as will you. As far as the 23 yo guy (JC) . . . is the social scene one of 21+ guys/gals hanging out at teenage parties, or is it the other way around??? . . . teenagers going to adult parties because of the alcohol, etc. ??? Also . . . Have your emotional 'deflector shields' up because you can expect your ex-gf to hit on JC again or even someone of similar age/stature. Hopefully, JC will continue to show respect to you and relationship norms in general and not take her up on her advances, if they should occur. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 You did fine. Strap up your running shoes and get ready for her to chase you. Don't fall for it. There are plenty of girls who would love a guy like you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 Well done for walking away and ignoring her. Continue to do so. For life. Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) On 1/13/2020 at 3:04 PM, rjc149 said: Girls that age are openly hypergamous -- meaning that they'll go for the higher-status "alpha" guy over the nurturing boyfriend/husband "provider" when presented with the opportunity. Since she's so young and isn't in the child-rearing mentality yet, the "provider" offers little value to her life. Right now she wants the "alpha". Having a boyfriend, having a connection and history with him, being in love, that doesn't really mean s*** to her when a more "alpha" guy comes along and starts showing her interest. JC isn't inherently better or more attractive than you. He just has higher social status than you at this moment in time. He's older, more socially established, has more experience etc. Girls want the guy that all the girls want. All the girls want JC, the alpha male in your social circle, which is why your gf is so enamored by his attention. One of the most important lessons you can learn as a man is how to maintain your dignity and self-respect. It means having the strength to walk away from those who have disrespected you, and when you walk away, you MEAN it. Walk away from this girl, and don't ever look back to her. Meet a new gf. I'm sure you can. Focus on growing and becoming an alpha male that other guy's gf's are throwing themselves at. You've got a lot of time. It has nothing to do with gender. When I was his age, my boyfriend suddenly became popular after receiving a sports car and cash from a relative. I thought he and I were in love and we'd even talked about getting married one day. Well after becoming popular, he dropped me like a hot potato for the hot cheerleader who wouldn't give him the time of day before he got the car and money. (Eventually the car got dented and the cash ran out--and so did his new friends and girlfriend. He then came looking for me, but I knew better.) Edited January 30, 2020 by GeorgiaPeach1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) On 1/13/2020 at 4:01 AM, LostBF said: Quote I finally said "come on, lets go".... What you should have said was goodbye, it's over... Also you mentioned that you would have done anything for her. Why? what has she done to prove herself worthy? Men need to stop giving their heart and soul to women until they have proved their worth and demonstrated their value. Try to look beyond their looks and attraction, and test them to see if they qualify. Women test men all of the time, and men should do the same. Edited January 31, 2020 by OnlyHonesty Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 On 1/13/2020 at 12:43 PM, LostBF said: Im at school now and her and her friends have been trying ta talk to me all morning. I have no plans on ever talking to her again. They keep telling me that she didn't cheat on me. It wasn't really a HS party. Act like it doesn't bother you and all and don't engage in any conversation with these people about it. Trust me on this. It's harder to do than it sounds but just follow my advice Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 Ah yes........many young women are not ready to fall in love..........and drunk girls are easy. It's a seriously bad cocktail! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 On 2/8/2020 at 5:17 AM, Fletch Lives said: Ah yes........many young women are not ready to fall in love..........and drunk girls are easy. It's a seriously bad cocktail! But this can get many of young lads laid....I don't know why they put on such a bad stigma on these girls. It's like why shoot yourself in the foot? Would you rather have girls that never shell out and you can walk around with blue ballz or hairy palms? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 When you're that young, there's just no reason not to follow the sun, but then you should know better than to act committed to someone when you're not ready to be committed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Honest_Interest Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 (edited) as far as the drinking age goes, the USA is older than most countries around the world, ( Here in Australia its 18, and most Euro & Asian Pacific countries is the same) Edited March 26, 2020 by Honest_Interest Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 26, 2020 Share Posted March 26, 2020 When I was 14, I don't recall anyone worrying about the drinking age lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 She showed you how much you meant to her by how she acted at the party and now she is showing you the type of person she is by bad mouthing you to everyone. Hopefully the people at the party get the truth out of what really happened. Age does not matter, yes she is only 16 but she is a drama queen and obviously is going to be an "easy" girl moving forward. Have seen her type when I was your age and now that I'm older, they do not change. Sounds like they guys you know respect you even if they are not your close friends. That is a good sign that you live life and treat people right. Best thing you can do is start hanging around and dating other girls. I hope you are doing well Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostBF Posted April 2, 2020 Author Share Posted April 2, 2020 Update: I started seeing another girl about a month after all of this went down. My ex and her friends have tried contacting me several times after we broke up, but I will not respond. One of them even contacted my new g/f trying to tell her that we broke up because I was too controlling. My new g/f knows the entire story. They have cancelled the rest of the school year here, so at least I don't have to see her again until the fall. Thanks again, for all the help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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