Something I've never felt and it's kinda scary

[SubtleReaction]

      So there’s this wonderful girl that magically  re-entered my life. This girl and I had a connection back in high school about 6 years ago. I’m not sure what happened to our relationship, I was probably just young and confused wanting everything under the sun. It all started with a notification that popped up on my phone where she liked not one but TWO of my photos on twitter. Now this may not seem like a big deal to some but for me it is. The main reason why is because I’m missing my left arm at about the elbow. So it’s sometimes difficult to be attracted to someone. This special girl is a hooters girl so you can imagine she has all the looks, and every dog chasing her. Even though I have some differences than other men, one thing I am not, is a jealous man. I love myself dearly. 

 

      Considering we haven’t spoken in so long I just couldn’t help myself messaging her. When I did I expected a no reply...3 hours went by and we texted back and fourth on Twitter until it slowly moved to Snapchat. We’re in our early twenties if that helps. 

What blows my mind more than anything is that she tells me I’m perfect. She tells me I’m amazing. For once I actually believe this girl telling me this. It’s so hard for me not to just instantly fall for her. She wants to take things slow and I’m one hundred percent okay with that. We are both single parents, so we have the timeless issue. 

 

         What makes me wonder everyday is, why me? What am I doing that other men are not doing? To the girl that is making my heart skip beats, the girl that I stay up thinking about til 1 in the morning. The same girl that I’m willing to cross the ocean for, you are and always will be loved. It’s not a word I use lightly...I literally am in love with you, I’m infatuated with your every desire that can make us grow together as a family. Now it’s not gonna be sunshine and roses. But you gotta have a little rain to get a rainbow baby. 

 

P.s. Its now 1-12-20

[mark clemson]

A Hooters girl with every dog chasing her. PERHAPS she is looking for someone exactly not like that. Perhaps...

Proceed with caution. This could work but it also has "heartbreak" written all over it. So yes, with a LOT of caution.

[schlumpy]

On 1/13/2020 at 12:25 AM, SubtleReaction said:

              What makes me wonder everyday is, why me? What am I doing that other men are not doing? To the girl that is making my heart skip beats, the girl that I stay up thinking about til 1 in the morning. The same girl that I’m willing to cross the ocean for, you are and always will be loved. It’s not a word I use lightly...I literally am in love with you, I’m infatuated with your every desire that can make us grow together as a family. Now it’s not gonna be sunshine and roses. But you gotta have a little rain to get a rainbow baby. 

 

P.s. Its now 1-12-20

Sounds like you are enjoying yourself. Floating above the rest of us catching the up thermals to rise even higher. Let us know when you actually meet her and get involved in the grittiness of real life again.

[spiderowl]

Who knows?  You and she had a connection at school.  These early connections matter because they are based on instinct and just getting on well together.  Maybe she's fed up of shallow guys that she does not feel a connection with.  Whatever the situation, take it slowly and see if a good relationship does build between you.  I would say to anyone who starts dating, do not fall in love with them at first!  I know that is something we do not have a lot of control over, but falling in love instantly is unrealistic and it happens before you really get to know the person.  Wait and see what kind of person she really is before allowing yourself to get too wrapped up in fantasy.

I hope it all goes great for you!

Edited January 18, 2020 by spiderowl

[The Outlaw]

It may look good, but just be careful. Taking it slow is the BEST thing you can do. Don't rush it. 

[SubtleReaction]

I appreciate the feed back, from everyone!

we had a really long emotional talk, she’s telling me she’s falling in love. Of course we are both scared and nervous but what I do know is that she’s true to me. I’ve gone and sat at the bar at hooters a couple times already because she’s the main bartender and the way she looks at me is....it’s addictive. I can see other men around envy me. I’m taking what you say and have a slight guard up, but the feelings I have are uncontrollable. 

[SubtleReaction]

On 1/18/2020 at 5:22 PM, spiderowl said:

Who knows?  You and she had a connection at school.  These early connections matter because they are based on instinct and just getting on well together.  Maybe she's fed up of shallow guys that she does not feel a connection with.  Whatever the situation, take it slowly and see if a good relationship does build between you.  I would say to anyone who starts dating, do not fall in love with them at first!  I know that is something we do not have a lot of control over, but falling in love instantly is unrealistic and it happens before you really get to know the person.  Wait and see what kind of person she really is before allowing yourself to get too wrapped up in fantasy.

I hope it all goes great for you!

What’s the best way to take things “slow” 

that’s always been very hard for me...It always seemed that once a girl and I got intimate with each other we were dating. And that didn’t take much time from the time we started talking to becoming intimate. Like a few days. This girl is not somebody that gives it up easy because she would have already brought me over or her come over because the opportunities are there. What’s the best way to keep a slow pace.

[d0nnivain]

Stop with the ILYs.   That is hardly slow.  It's a bad sign.  It indicates that she has no idea what love really is & has a young woman's romanticized TV version which is all hearts & flowers with no thought to the hard times.  

Have you actually managed to go on a date with her?  Start there.  You sitting at the bar where she works & "talking" over social media is not a basis for a relationship.   Ask her to do something with you already, even if it's just grab a coffee or breakfast at a nearby diner when her shift is over.  

As for slow you keep your heart in check.  No ILYs.  You date steadily but don't have sex.  Seriously, wait at least a month. .  .be romantic hand holding, a good make out session but stop short of sex.  You want to build up the expectations / anticipation.  

Continue doing what you are doing -- listening to her, genuinely caring about her as a person not just those superficial things that make her a hooters girl.  

[SubtleReaction]

On 1/18/2020 at 5:22 PM, spiderowl said:

Who knows?  You and she had a connection at school.  These early connections matter because they are based on instinct and just getting on well together.  Maybe she's fed up of shallow guys that she does not feel a connection with.  Whatever the situation, take it slowly and see if a good relationship does build between you.  I would say to anyone who starts dating, do not fall in love with them at first!  I know that is something we do not have a lot of control over, but falling in love instantly is unrealistic and it happens before you really get to know the person.  Wait and see what kind of person she really is before allowing yourself to get too wrapped up in fantasy.

I hope it all goes great for you!

 

9 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Stop with the ILYs.   That is hardly slow.  It's a bad sign.  It indicates that she has no idea what love really is & has a young woman's romanticized TV version which is all hearts & flowers with no thought to the hard times.  

Have you actually managed to go on a date with her?  Start there.  You sitting at the bar where she works & "talking" over social media is not a basis for a relationship.   Ask her to do something with you already, even if it's just grab a coffee or breakfast at a nearby diner when her shift is over.  

As for slow you keep your heart in check.  No ILYs.  You date steadily but don't have sex.  Seriously, wait at least a month. .  .be romantic hand holding, a good make out session but stop short of sex.  You want to build up the expectations / anticipation.  

Continue doing what you are doing -- listening to her, genuinely caring about her as a person not just those superficial things that make her a hooters girl.  

Yes we have gone on a couple dates already, we’ve had a lot of heart to heart conversations. We’re definitely on the same page. She has expressed that she can’t help but fall for me.

after I wrote my reply’s last night, she surprised me by coming over. Looking amazing as usual in all black, crop top. Just ridiculously beautiful. We wrapped up and watched a movie, listened to music and had conversation. Our plan was not to have sex. It definitely was not my intentions. But she looked at me so deeply and said, let’s just do this already. Day 20 we had very intimate sex. Making the most of every second. This was last night. I laughed because when she climbed on top of me lol. She said “if heaven is real, this is what it feels like” while gripping on to me. 
I believe things are going to go well. She reassured me she wants to start a family. We both have kids of our own as well. Her daughter is 3 and my daughter is 5. I’ve raised my daughter without her mom going on 4 years. She tells me she wants to be in her life so I think this is very special. I’m going with the flow.

[spiderowl]

I wish you all the best, OP, childhood connections often do last.  My sister-in-law is now married to her first boyfriend who dumped her in the past.  The got together years later after they had both had families and that old connection was still there.