Waringin Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Hi, One week ago my girlfriend (26) broke up with me (31) in person. We had a good talk, laugh and cry about it in person. We have been together for a year and I do believe we are both in love (she said the words first time when we broke up ironically) . Unfortunately not our relationship, but her past makes her make this decision. She told me an ex-boyfriend of hers abused her mentally and physically. She was with this guy a few months before she met me. The past year she felt his behaviour was normal and she didn't act on her feelings before now. Now she's finally recognizing the feelings and pain it does to her and she decided she can only heal from this on her own. This is actually the second time she broke up with me, the first time was after four months. Then it seemed like she had a burnout. In retrospect it were the same feelings of anxiousness she's feeling now, but she didn't recognize the cause back then. This whole story had an influence on our relationship. We always had intimacy problems. She opened up really slowly to me, but we never went further then third base. We are on friendly terms, the day after we exchanged a few more messages. I told her she's brave for going into therapy and that she can always talk to me if she feels like it. I hope there's some chance we end up back together, even as friends. For now I respect her wishes and NC (it worked for me, she was the first who reached out after first breakup) What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I don't think she is telling the truth. I recommend that you do some snooping to verify her story. If it checks out then all is well. It's not normal at all to break up with the one you love but it is normal to break up with your place holder boyfriend when a new guy (or old guy for that matter) shows up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Waringin Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 I can't do much snooping. We didn't introduce friends or family yet. Anyway she has been going to therapy since May and she has been telling me about it openly. And the intimacy problems we had match with the symptoms people have when being abused. So I don't see reason to question this. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 If you are satisfied that's good enough for me. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 I think you’ll be best to let her go for good and close the door on this relationship. She is not ready for the type of relationship you understandably want. Link to post Share on other sites
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