NuevoYorko Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Can you clarify - in the middle of December you had a boyfriend. It's been about 3 weeks since you broke up and you've already been through 3 of his friends and are about to do the 4th? I think you're doing it out of revenge. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted January 15, 2020 Author Share Posted January 15, 2020 (edited) @NuevoYorkoK, just to clarify the ex I’m speaking of I broke up with at the end of July. I reconnected with his (former) friend 1 at the end of August. I broke up with that guy about 3 weeks ago and have dated 2 of his (former)friends. I made a weird thread about my debacle with one and went to a show and to dinner with another. Still seeing both. Now I’m just talking with one more. I’m just having a good time. Not trying to hurt anyone. And also to clarify these guys are NOT like bffs. They hang out in the same circle. but again, this is a general discussion plz , not to be focused on me. I am just one person who has done this Edited January 15, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Hi Cookies, I apologies if my last comment was a little mean. I didn't mean to offend 🙏. The more i think about the more i realize that you're right. You're not hurting anyone and there is no law on who can and can't date 🙂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 No I would never date an ex's buddies because I would never want them to discuss me sexually, which they will. I also would not want my ex to think lowly of me. When I leave I want them to realize the best thing that ever happened to them just walked out. Sleeping with his friends will surely make him glad you're gone and wonder what he ever saw in you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Right or wrong, you are going to get the reputation as the girl who has been 'passed around'. Guys in that crowd will be willing to sleep with you but will not likely consider you long term girlfriend/wife material. You may not like that but it doesn't change that fact that many guys will think like that. Aren't there other guys/crowds you can associate with? Why do you have to go with so many guys from the same group? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 (edited) So if we're talking broadly, when I was a teen, I saw two or three guys from the same group. With hindsight, I was nothing more than a convenient plaything for them to take turns with. When I realised the situation I'd gotten myself into, I was mortified about how naive I'd been and left all of them behind. I realise that you're not teenagers, but the moral of the story still stands. Edited January 15, 2020 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 (edited) On 1/13/2020 at 5:12 PM, Cookiesandough said: Hi, so I was wondering what you guys think of the ethics of a person dating within the same social group. It's great in the unlikely event that it works long term and the two people stay together. But in the much more likely event that it doesn't work, you've opened a whole can of worms and have potentially ruined friendships and caused divisions that may never be repaired. I have two friends that dated in college and a few years afterwards. We/they all have the same main group of mutual friends. When they broke up, it became a giant pain in the butt 1). for them because they didn't want to see each other, and 2). for everyone else because we had to walk on eggshells, felt compelled to "take sides," not invite one person somewhere because the other is going, all that nonsense. It was awful. They still don't talk. The odds of this person in your social group being the person you marry, or at least someone you can be totally amicable in the event that it doesn't work out are probably very, very small. The odds of you causing lots of tension and unwanted grief to every person interconnected with you both is very, very high. If you're absolutely in love with the person and vice versa, maybe you might want to risk it. But if you're just taking a flyer on someone, seeing where it goes, etc -- then maybe it's not such a great idea. These days two of my friends are single. One is one my best friends from childhood, the other is my fiance's best friend. They could be a decent match in theory, but the downside risk if it didn't work out (most relationships don't) would be much too large. If it ended awkwardly or badly, we could never all hang out together again. There are plenty of fish in the sea, there's not much reason to look exclusively in your own pond. Edited January 16, 2020 by normal person 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Its messy and brings on unnecessary drama. And honestly, it gives the appearance that one is trying to hurt or get back at the ex. Are you sure you dont subconsciously have motivation to do so that have to do with your ex? It seems you get a reaction from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 On 1/14/2020 at 4:24 PM, Cookiesandough said: & it’s not like we intentionally threw it in his face either Successful relationships are hard enough, so I'd tend to avoid extra baggage. No friends, co-workers, ex-cons, etc.... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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