What's the importance of fathers?

[Miss Clavel]

protector. which includes both the emotional and the physical. to guard the door and see that everyone travels, eats and rests, without being harassed.

which requires money and tools. which men acquire to defend their homes.

the days of women making the family nest, alone. with their babies, is over. men have realized just how sweet a new baby smells.  their are getting in on the cuddle love. annoying. but what are you gonna do? the dishes, i'm hoping.

 

 

[amaysngrace]

My daughter’s dad knows her hospital has Coronavirus.  His sister works there too.

It would be really special if he checked in with our child to see how she’s doing but so far it’s only been silence. 

[Miss Clavel]

damn. that's so hard. i have 5 rn's in my family. i texted one 18 hours ago and i don't expect to hear back anytime soon. that one usually talks to my oldest. i just sent a quick note of concern and encouragement.

anyone else is free to do the same to anyone they wish.

call write text, send up smoke signals. i learned the hard way when my bff's daughter was killed instantly in a car wreck.

always express affection and never part on harsh words.

[SuperHeroMan]

Children tend to be closer to their mothers than they are to their fathers according to these 2 websites  

https://www.childrensdayton.org/the-hub/why-kids-feel-closer-mom-over-dad

https://medium.com/the-dad-hammer-pub/why-kids-tend-to-feel-closer-to-mom-over-dad-9c10230abcf8

Here's a quote from the first website: "Moms trump dads when it comes to importance, with 47 percent of kids reporting that moms are their most influential relationships, compared to only 20 percent for dads."

[SuperHeroMan]

43 minutes ago, SuperHeroMan said:

Children tend to be closer to their mothers than they are to their fathers according to these 2 websites  

https://www.childrensdayton.org/the-hub/why-kids-feel-closer-mom-over-dad

https://medium.com/the-dad-hammer-pub/why-kids-tend-to-feel-closer-to-mom-over-dad-9c10230abcf8

Here's a quote from the first website: "Moms trump dads when it comes to importance, with 47 percent of kids reporting that moms are their most influential relationships, compared to only 20 percent for dads."

Mothers are often considered the primary caregivers. 

[Emilie Jolie]

I'm quite close to my mum, but my father has had such a massive influence in my life that the impossible standards he set made it very difficult for me to find a man who measures up. 

Still now, he's the first person I speak to besides my SO when something big happens in my life. His advice is invaluable, and he is the best sounding board, I guess because he genuinely cares. I haven't always made the best decisions in my life but I never felt judged by him - he's always comforted me, taught me to listen to others with an open mind and to try and see the best in people. He's the most gracious person I know.

He's treated my mother with nothing but kindness, respect, consideration and love. Even now, after almost 50 years together. 

Appalling taste in music, though.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Emilie Jolie

[Foxhall]

I have heard people from a psychology background say that a child's confidence or lack of, comes from the Father,

For a while now Ive had random thoughts from time to time that I would like to be a Father,  have a daughter in particular, oh wel will have to happen soon Id say if it is meant to be!

Edited May 24, 2020 by Foxhall

[Ellener]

2 hours ago, Foxhall said:

I have heard people from a psychology background say that a child's confidence or lack of, comes from the Father,

For a while now Ive had random thoughts from time to time that I would like to be a Father,  have a daughter in particular, oh wel will have to happen soon Id say if it is meant to be!

I don't believe it's necessary to have father or mother or traditional cultural figures raising a child, just some significant person or people to provide unconditional love, consistent care and role modelling. There are many versions of 'family'. I loved being a parent @Foxhall the hardest thing I've done and the most rewarding; I hope you get what you want.

🤱👨‍👩‍👦 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 👨‍👨‍👧‍👦👴🏿 👨‍👧‍👧

[Foxhall]

many thanks @Ellener.

[stillafool]

Fathers are extremely important in children's lives and provide more than just sperm and money.  They don't get half the praise and appreciation that Mother's do and it's not fair.

[preraph]

18 hours ago, Foxhall said:

I have heard people from a psychology background say that a child's confidence or lack of, comes from the Father,

For a while now Ive had random thoughts from time to time that I would like to be a Father,  have a daughter in particular, oh wel will have to happen soon Id say if it is meant to be!

You'd be a good one!

[SuperHeroMan]

On 5/24/2020 at 3:32 PM, SuperHeroMan said:

Mothers are often considered the primary caregivers. 

Also, I thought women are born with a natural instinct to care for and nurture a baby human, while men are not. Also, let’s face it, females just sound more soothing than their male counterparts. And just children respond better to a softer tone of voice.

[Emilie Jolie]

What's the backdrop to your thoughts on the unimportance of fathers, SuperHeroMan? 

[basil67]

27 minutes ago, SuperHeroMan said:

Also, I thought women are born with a natural instinct to care for and nurture a baby human, while men are not. Also, let’s face it, females just sound more soothing than their male counterparts. And just children respond better to a softer tone of voice.

No, women aren't born with this.  Granted, the learning comes easier to some than others...

[SuperHeroMan]

1 hour ago, Emilie Jolie said:

What's the backdrop to your thoughts on the unimportance of fathers, SuperHeroMan? 

I'm just wondering what the importance of fathers are. And this could also be because I never really had a father while growing up. I didn't grow up with my own father and I didn't know him too well, so he was never really in my life. 

[Emilie Jolie]

1 minute ago, SuperHeroMan said:

I'm just wondering what the importance of fathers are. And this could also be because I never really had a father while growing up. I didn't grow up with my own father and I didn't know him too well, so he was never really in my life. 

That makes more sense :).

If you didn't miss having him in your life, then his presence wasn't important to you. 

That doesn't mean fathers are irrelevant as a rule.

Are you very close to your mother?

[carhill]

OP, you have plenty of company in others who developed and matured without their biological father for whatever reason. Back in my father's generation, it was often simply a function of being killed in war, as hundreds of thousands of US men were, many of them fathers. My dad went off to war with two toddler daughters at home and fortunately came back alive, however his wife left him for another man while he was at war and he never saw his daughters again until I was a teenager and he was a grandpa. 

For those males whose fathers were gone for whatever reason, men of the community stepped in as male role models. IDK what happened to that or if it still exists. When younger I used to try but people became more private and suspicious, likely a function of the few bad men out there ruining it for the rest. Anyway, I was fortunate to have a father *and* other male role models, all of whom contributed to keeping my rebellious butt in line, no small task. We all face challenges in life, none of us escape that. Yesterday was a reminder of that. Think of all those men, those fathers, and later women, who willingly gave the ultimate sacrifice of their life so you and I could enjoy the freedom and life to discuss this topic. 👍

[Ellener]

On 5/25/2020 at 11:09 AM, stillafool said:

Fathers are extremely important in children's lives and provide more than just sperm and money.  They don't get half the praise and appreciation that Mother's do and it's not fair.

My father raised all three of us on his own.

Memorial Day the big concert came on and Joe Montegna the actor is all grey and elder statesman now- I did a double-take, could have been my dad! 😢

[stillafool]

10 hours ago, SuperHeroMan said:

Also, I thought women are born with a natural instinct to care for and nurture a baby human, while men are not. Also, let’s face it, females just sound more soothing than their male counterparts. And just children respond better to a softer tone of voice.

Not always, especially when being disciplined.  Nothing would straighten me up better than "wait until your father gets home".

[Ollie180]

10 hours ago, SuperHeroMan said:

I'm just wondering what the importance of fathers are. And this could also be because I never really had a father while growing up. I didn't grow up with my own father and I didn't know him too well, so he was never really in my life. 

I didn’t have a dad either! And I had a step-father for a while that I wish to god I didn’t have!

But I’ve always believed that when I got my turn to be a dad, I’d be everything those men never were, and I would be important in my kids life 🤷🏼‍♂️ 
My mum was my world as a boy.. you know why? Because she was there, always! I knew she’d be at my side whatever I did, whatever life threw! She was the one person on this planet that made me feel loved! .....So if the important thing for a kid is being there, then surely you can be there for you kid no matter what’s ‘between your legs’ if that’s not too crude a way to put it!

 

I sure hope 10 years from now my daughter thinks I’ve been been somewhat ‘important’ in her life 🤷🏼‍♂️

[SuperHeroMan]

11 hours ago, Emilie Jolie said:

That makes more sense :).

If you didn't miss having him in your life, then his presence wasn't important to you. 

That doesn't mean fathers are irrelevant as a rule.

Are you very close to your mother?

My dad was a abusive alcoholic, and that's why my mother left him when I was 6 years old. I haven't seen him since then, and he passed away about 8 years ago. And yes, I'm very close to my mother. 

[Emilie Jolie]

6 minutes ago, SuperHeroMan said:

My dad was a abusive alcoholic, and that's why my mother left him when I was 6 years old. I haven't seen him since then, and he passed away about 8 years ago. And yes, I'm very close to my mother. 

I'm sorry, @SuperHeroMan. Sounds like he was an aszhole. You missed nothing. Good job your mother had your back. 

[Emilie Jolie]

What's making you think of him and fathers in general, now? Are you thinking of fatherhood for yourself? You know it's not hereditory, right?

[SuperHeroMan]

1 hour ago, Emilie Jolie said:

I'm sorry, @SuperHeroMan. Sounds like he was an aszhole. You missed nothing. Good job your mother had your back. 

Thank you. It was a good thing she left him. 

[SuperHeroMan]

1 hour ago, Emilie Jolie said:

What's making you think of him and fathers in general, now? Are you thinking of fatherhood for yourself? You know it's not hereditory, right?

I'm not thinking of fatherhood right now. I just always wonder what the importance of fathers are, and I just decided to ask now. 

Edited May 26, 2020 by SuperHeroMan