Late Nights Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Its been 3 years since I'd been broken up with whom I thought was my everything, my soulmate, my life partner. To tell you the truth she probably was and I just took her for granted. Life tested me out and I messed up and so life took HER out of my life to teach me a lesson. Trying to win them back by begging or doing a no contract I did all of that. I have done everything the wrong way to try to win her back into my life and I ended up pushing further away. Then one day I said f*** it and went full NC for me to heal. I already lost her and have nothing else to lose by going NC. I'm here to let everyone know who is going thru it feeling the pain mentally and physically that you MUST and you WILL get over them. It took me almost 1.5 years to get over them. The thing that helps me that is REALLY important and I suggest everyone to do this whois trying to heal is to change your phone ring tone! Trust me this is what help clear her out of my mental. Another thing that helped is that I rearranged my furniture and got rid of everything she ever got me. Even went as far as burning all of our pictures lol. Fast forward to 2019. I met someone who was younger then her and wayyyyyyyyyyy more attractive then my ex. She has all the quality that I look for in a girlfriend and we also click. Don't get me wrong my ex was very attractive as well but the new girl whom I've been in a relationship with for a year now she's 10x! I'm happy with her and within that 1 year we travel together 6 different places. I finally met and found the ONE. So what I'm trying to say is that there is hope out there for everyone to find and meet someone who will be 10x then your last. The next person you will meet will be the one for you. As for hoping for a "second chance" with my ex I'll be straight up.... you still have less then a 1% chance that they even want you back. I'm only saying 1% to be generous when i know it was more like .00001% they will come back. Keep in mind once someone has made a decision to leave you, you best believe they ain't coming back. You will be okay and don't be so hard on yourself. The "past" that you think you want back isn't the person whois meant to stay with you. The ONE I believe is the next person whois out there waiting to meet you. You will be happy and the pain will go away! Change your phone ringer!!!! It sounds weird but it helps. If anyone have any questions feel free to ask me anything! Take care of yourselves everyone! I hope this will be the only time I come back to this forum is to give feedback and help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
andytuotuo Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Wow I went back and read through your stories and all the stuff. Happy to see you are finally in a good place and happy again. I feel so broken and can relate to your story so much. She has also told me that she made decision that we can not be friends and asked me to respect her decision. This truly shuttered my heart. I regret that I was emotional and so immature. I should have respected the breakup and left it all lone right after she wanted out. I wish I could go back in time. I really hope that I can get to where you are soon. I really hope we can be friends one day when time passes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Good for you, Late Nights! 🙂 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 Yes once they leave you. You must quit trying sadly most of us begs or plead huh. Degrading ourselves and dumpers on the other end enjoy watching us giving them ego boost. NC is not that easy but the only way out of this emotional mess. Good to see people giving out updates, the sun shines again. Good luck OP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Congrats man! I read your post before but re-reading it again helps keep the spark of hope alive in me tonight! And as I just mentioned on another post - if you're over 24/25 and someone you're dating or married to just walks out and you weren't the "cause" per se (you didn't cheat, you didn't have an addiction problem, or crime, or no job, etc.) and they never communicated a problem and never worked with you on crafting a solution - don't just let them go. Kick them to the curb! People invest in who/what they truly desire. So if you did your best and they left anyway without giving you a chance - then count your blessings. Cause imagine what would happen when something really tough hit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Late Nights Posted March 9, 2020 Author Share Posted March 9, 2020 Thank you all! I wanted to come back here because I know alot of people here who are going thru it hoping for updates or answers on here and usually you don't get any. The best thing to do is the hardest thing you will have to do is to completely take a loss and walk away. I've learn so much after experiencing this and I know how to feel and it sucks. Not to worry there is someone whois out there ready to meet you but before fate can happen you must work on yourself and build back up your vibrations to attract that new person to you. Its going to happen unexpectedly and once it does happen you will know. Love is out there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 On 3/9/2020 at 6:30 AM, Late Nights said: Thank you all! I wanted to come back here because I know alot of people here who are going thru it hoping for updates or answers on here and usually you don't get any. The best thing to do is the hardest thing you will have to do is to completely take a loss and walk away. I've learn so much after experiencing this and I know how to feel and it sucks. Not to worry there is someone whois out there ready to meet you but before fate can happen you must work on yourself and build back up your vibrations to attract that new person to you. Its going to happen unexpectedly and once it does happen you will know. Love is out there! I think, for me, the key in your message lies in the words "work on yourself and build back up your vibrations". I believe we attract according to our vibes. Now....that does not mean we can't find ourselves attracting the wrong people even when we live content, peaceful, purposeful, loving filled lives. That will happen. Because the more attractive we feel - the more we attract. But...for many of us (as men) - we need to realize that we need more thought into who we date and to unlearn bad behaviors (co-dependency, fear of abandonment, compulsion to be the "nice guy", etc., etc., etc.,) and to speak our needs and our wants and not to settle. Of course, the same can be said for women. But as good men, we need to recognize our value and what we bring to the table compared to other dudes out there! And hopefully we learn over trial and error, that when we do find ourselves back to normal and living that healthy life, we don't need to settle and we can swat the flies away who don't deserve us. Link to post Share on other sites
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