Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 9 minutes ago, preraph said: I suggested birth control because life is sometimes unpredictable. But you can always use condoms. I think in a survival mode, and right now, you just need to catch up so you can care for yourself and your children you already have. Of course, you would have resentment towards him. I see you say "due to mental health issues," but wasn't clear if HE left because of his issues or if it was you (only say that since you say you've seen 15 shrinks!) Anyway, he left. It didn't work out. He didn't sound like much help anyway. So it's just you accepting he wasn't a right good guy for you. A good guy would be doing a lot more for these kids, whether he wanted to be with you or not. Have you ever been on your own before? Lived alone, worked and paid all your own bills, been self-sufficient? If not, this will be quite a growing experience for you and though it will be a struggle, you do get government money and you are working on improving your situation, and the more you do, the more confident you will feel about being on your own and you won't feel as desperate. Because it's true: You NEED someone right now. But you don't have someone. So now is when you are going to have to use all your resources and try to compartmentalize your feelings when you're trying to work or study or take care of the kids, so that you can accomplish your goals and progress to a better place. I wish I knew more about how things work there and I'd be of more use, but I don't. So just be sure YOU do and haven't overlooked any resources. Well, I'm not a wh**e so obviously having sex outside of a serious relationship is something I'd never do. I've already explained that I wont be able to go on a date for years nor do I find anyone who is smarter than my ex which means there are no options to even date, so not sure why you even brought it up. My mind is fine, i've been manipulating the system for paid sick leave, he went insane for a bit but has been treated for it since and is now stable. He was of very much help before we split up actually, he did far more at home and for our kid than any other man would. Of course I've been on my own before and self-sufficient, but then I had the possibilities to do what i wanted and have the future that I wanted, having the kids now, that is no longer an option. I'm trapped in this country for many years ahead and I hate every day of it. I can't even travel as the kids are too young for me to do it alone with them. Nothing is fun anymore and the few moments of happiness that I have just makes me feel depressed as my ex isn't here to share them with me. Joy no longer brings any satisfaction. It's hard to push my feelings aside as I know I can't have what I want in life, at least not for a very long time. Taking care of kids and studying is just surviving, it's not living and it feels like I'm wasting every day of my life as I'm no longer able to do the things I want to do in life, the goals are too far ahead in the future to motivate me. What I need is to numb all of my feelings until I've found a faithful version of my ex to replace him with. Both of which seems impossible right now 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 You're severely depressed, and anger is all part of that. If you aren't already doing some physical exercise, that does help a little with the stress and keeps it from breaking your body down. But I'm guessing you do plenty of that on a normal basis just taking care of the little ones. Take it a day at a time and just get done what has to be done, and that's all you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 I'm not severly depressed and anger is a natural reaction to betrayal. I've thoroughly looked into all of my options and there isn't a single one that would make my life any better or me happier. Exercise has the opposite effect as it makes it impossible to not think of my ex at the time. . I can get done what needs to be done when I just cry all the time, or I'm too tired as I can't sleep well without my ex (had the same problem before I met him too). 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 I'm glad to hear you're not severely depressed. And yes, anger is natural. You'll sleep once you get exhausted enough. You will just have an adjustment period. Things will slowly get better if you keep doing what you need to be doing as best you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 22 hours ago, preraph said: I'm glad to hear you're not severely depressed. And yes, anger is natural. You'll sleep once you get exhausted enough. You will just have an adjustment period. Things will slowly get better if you keep doing what you need to be doing as best you can. I wish that was true. It's not really an adjustment period as I struggled my entire life to sleep at night, except when being with him, no matter how exhausted I get. I can't really do what needs to be done, I'm too upset and now I'll be missing my finals this week. It does worry me and I can't find any useful advice anywhere to change it either 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and meet your obligations even when you are not functioning fully. I've had to do that many times myself. I've also had sleep problems my entire life. Getting dogs helped me a lot. But I still wake up a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loveisonlyformovies Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 Can't. All i do is sleep. I cant stand being awake. I can't stand the hurt or my thoughts. Hes been refusing to give me a straight answer for weeks now, saying he wants time. And just now I discovered on his Facebook that the girl he refuses to get rid of said she loves him. I can hardly breath. Ive really lost him. Im all alone and I cant cope. I don't know what to do anymore. I got literally no one to talk to about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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